Daughter-in-law calls out in-laws over organizing potluck for anniversary party with 150 guests: 'My in-laws are the cheapest people I know'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 14, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

Perhaps one of the most important parts of hosting a party is showing your generosity. While nobody wants to be taken for a ride by entitled guests, the whole point of partying is to celebrate and make the people who attend come away from the event feeling like they had a good time. While this does not always have to be expensive, it still requires you to put some investment into it.

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  • A woman smiles while holding a plate of cupcakes behind a buffet table, with party guests mingling in the background
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    A woman smiles while holding a plate of cupcakes behind a buffet table, with party guests mingling in the background

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this sense, party planning isn't for everyone. When it is on a larger scale, it almost always requires a level of organizational skill and money that some people are just not willing to summon. That being said, it does not stop everybody from trying to hold a big celebration nonetheless. They want the enjoyment without the investment. 

    While some guests may be fine with this, it should be no surprise that others may take issue with an event hosted on a shoestring (not least if the organizers can afford to put more into it). Big parties are often a hotbed of potential drama as it is, and being stingy with the planning may only add fuel to that fire. At its worst, it can kind of feel like it defeats the purpose of creating happy memories.

  • Potluck for a large party is weird...

    Need to vent. My in- laws are throwing their 50th anniversary party later this year. Both are in their 70s, well- off, and probably the cheapest people I know.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • EVERYTHING revolves around money for them. Anyway...they have been talking about this party for awhile. Bragging about how the venue was gifted to them for free.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • They have only paid for a DJ. My husband and I asked how many people they were inviting and they said everyone they know.
    via Alert_Usual1197

  • A daughter-in-law was disgruntled with her in-laws as they organized their big anniversary party, believing it was an on-the-nose demonstration of how annoyingly cheap they were. They were only paying for a DJ and wanted the food at the party to be potluck, even hesitating to hire a bartender.

    She felt the need to rant, as she thought that if they didn't want to spend money, they should tone down the celebrations. It didn't make sense to her.

  • We tossed out number and got the impression that it will be well over 100-150 people.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • When we asked about drinks. They said they MIGHT get a bartender...then my husband asks about food and who was catering.....they want it to be a potluck.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • This is what they did for their wedding and their 25th anniversary. Saying how they won't hire staff because they are sure family will help serve like they did for their 25th.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • I'm sorry but this is absolutely cheap and r de to me. Most people bring dessert and side dishes for potlucks?
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • What about the main meal? And to have people drive from all over to bring food and possibly serve at your party just isn't fair.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • A group of people, some holding beverages, gather around a large buffet table
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    A group of people, some holding beverages, gather around a large buffet table

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • No one wants to show up to an event and serve food to 150 people. My husband and I were just quiet and moved on from the convo.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • I can understand being cheap in certain aspects...but don't throw a huge party if you aren't going to cater.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • Potlucks are gross to me. I don't know if Grandma Jean licks her spoon or washes her hands...people have different types of hygienic preferences at home.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • Also, I get restaurants aren't perfect either...but at least there is some guidelines and I can choose where Im going based on reviews.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • It's all just weird. Edit: For context I don't hate my in- laws. I just can't stand the way they view money.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • I come from a giving family and I myself would rather pay for people to enjoy themselves.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • Money will always come and go, but I like seeing people enjoy themselves fully. As for those saying I'll inherit it...thats the last thing I care about.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • My husband and I are just fine and work hard for what we have. We don't go through life expecting of such things.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • I'm only venting that I find it gross and the ride part is expecting your guests to serve.
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • Overhead shot of party guests mingling in front of a buffet table
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    Overhead shot of party guests mingling in front of a buffet table

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Uhhyt231 This is so tacky. And sounds annoying af to coordinate
    via Uhhyt231
  • Alert_Usual1197 Original Poster's Reply Exactly...
    via Alert_Usual1197
  • Rogue_CobaltZone570 150 people and probably 40 people will bring food
    via Rogue_CobaltZone570
  • lamstarstuff1972 Also the people who served and helped are 25 years older now. This is really poor taste.
    via Iamstarstuff1972
  • ariadnevirginia It's annoying to have to take your empty dishes home afterwards, too.
    via ariadnevirginia
  • Alternative-Dot-884 Also sounds like someone's getting food poisoning- driving so far and no one monitoring the table. Ugh not only not eating I'd not be going.
    via Alternative-Dot-884
  • Long_Emergency6122 Potlucks are fine for group planned events, like hey I have a pool and will host a summer BBQ if everyone who wants to swim brings something or I have the biggest TV and will host the super bowl party if everyone brings some snacks. IMO,.potlucks are for casual events hosted at your house. If you are sending out formal invitations and inviting people to a venue, you provide the food and they bring gifts to celebrate the anniversary. Having a pot luck with that many people is j
    via Long_Emergency6122
  • FC_BagLady Yes it is. For my parents 50th us kids all paid for it. It was just a family party at a nice restaurant, we had the top floor and were waited on, complete with dj. I wouldn't want to be all dressed up lugging food around.
    via FC_BagLady
  • muchquery Eat a dinner with your family before hand and take a large tub of store bought potato salad.
    via muchquery
  • CosmicCorgi420 Every party my dad's side does is pot luck and it's so stupid. They always only make enough for them and nobody else and that's the same for every pot luck.
    via CosmicCorgi420

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family drama daughter in law Party 50th anniversary potluck in laws mother in law family
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