Bride books bed-sharing house for bachelorette trip 40-year-old participant considers booking own hotel: 'It's going to be really crammed'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 16, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

Vacations tend to change what they look like when we get older.

There is a reason that the hospitality business makes a healthy profit on no-kids resorts and elder cruises, and that people find it kind of weird when anyone over the age of 30 pursues a budget backpacking trip around Southeast Asia. A lot of us have preconceptions about what holidaying should look like at different stages of life, and they are frequently based on very real preferences. What is an 18-year-old's idea of a dream trip is often something a 50-year-old would pay good money to avoid.

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  • Pink letter balloons strung across a window, spelling 'bride'
    via Julian Hochgesang

    Pink letter balloons strung across a window, spelling 'bride'

  • Still, it is possible to have fun and unwind on vacation at any age. You just have to be aware of how to cater to everyone who is going on the trip. This is not always something that is easy to get right, not least if you are trying to do things on a budget. It is possible that cutting corners will lead to somebody being miserable, unless they take matters into their own hands and change the plan. Obviously, this has the potential to cause some conflict with whoever may be in charge of organizing the holiday.

  • Would I be wrong if I stayed in a hotel instead of the condo my friends friends booked for her Bachelorette?

    I'll try and keep this fairly to the point. I'm a bridesmaid in my friends wedding and she requested a bachelorette party in a destination city.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • She surveyed everyone as far as sleeping preferences, budget, etc. My only real request was not sharing.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • In my 20s, alright whatever, let's cram as many people as we can so it's as cheap as possible but.. I'm a 40. yrs old, at this point in life, the only person I'm interested in sharing a bed with is my husband.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071

  • A 40-year-old woman was left with a dilemma after she was invited to go on a bachelorette trip with her friends. The person planning for the bride-to-be had asked everyone what their accommodation preferences were, but the option they were going for was not something that she was happy with. She was going to book a house where the 6 people on the trip would all have to share a bed. 

    The woman felt that they were past the phase of sharing sleeping arrangements during a vacation, and was considering booking herself a hotel for her comfort. However, she wasn't sure if other people would take it the wrong way.

  • Without getting into too many details, one option they're now looking at is a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom place for 6 total people.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • The sleeping accommodations are a king bed, a queen bed, and a double pull out couch.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • (TBH the place is ugly as h I too but that's not a dealbreaker, whatever, it's 3 nights, I'm not moving in).
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • I'm really just not ok with this. I don't know anyone besides the bride, literally never laid eyes on a single other person.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • I expressed my concerns to the person organizing it and said I really am not super on board w this, it's going to be really crammed and I don't want to sleep in a bed with someone.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • I also said I won't make a fuss if it if that's the place everyone else chooses but....
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • Part of me is super tempted to just be like hey yall, I'm gonna sleep in a hotel nearby (I'll be present for all of the activities and events).
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • But I'm sure that'll make me look like a stuck up b plus the fact that it'll increase the cost for the other girls, which is apparently a factor for them as it is or we wouldn't be doing these college-esq housing options.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • Edit to add there's a 3br 3ba option on the table that has twin beds and a pull out sofa.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • Its still not ideal but its WAY closer to actually fitting our needs It's slightly more expensive but we're talking $30/person more.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • They're all voting for the other one and I'm flabbergasted.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • Underside of multiple people clinking champagne glasses
    via Quan Nguyen

    Underside of multiple people clinking champagne glasses

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • lucyfussbudget1 It sounds like you tried to be reasonable and accommodating, and they just didn't want to hear it. That's frustrating.
    via lucyfussbudget1
  • GuiltySpecialist7071 Original Poster's Reply It's so annoying. There's an option on the table that avoids the problem but they're choosing against it. I'd obviously prefer to not share a room and bathroom, but I know it'd be tough to get that many bedrooms and bathrooms. I even said I'd be ok sleeping on a pullout couch, h I even a regular couch (though I really wasn't crazy about that either). My only caveat was not sharing a bed.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • Used_Clock_4627 If this were me, I'd be opting out altogether. I've done the sharing a bed with a near stranger/sharing a room with three near strangers, in my early 30's. But that was for one night and it was manager meetings, so I wasn't paying for it. Three nights with people you'll be spending the days with, too? And you're forking over for the 'privilege' of sharing a bed for those nights? Nope, sorry, nothing doing. I'd be wishing them a great time and staying home. But than again, I'm int
    via Used_Clock_4627
  • Guilty Specialist7071 Original Poster's Reply The guest of honor has already expressed how disappointed she is that someone else opted out, I don't want to add to that and not go. She also knows what my finances situation is so I can't really use the guise of not going bc I can't afford to. It's so tricky
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • ImAMorty 777 Do you care what these people, you don't even know, think? that NTA
    via ImAMorty777
  • Guilty Specialist7071 Original Poster's Reply Ultimately - not really. But I also just don't wanna be difficult.
    via GuiltySpecialist7071
  • Honest Appointment75 NTA but I'd probably still pay my portion of the house so that none of the other girls had to pay for my last minute change, and then I'd get a hotel
    via Honest_Appointment75
  • B-Roads_wrongway Get your own room. I feel this way. My SIL feels this way as do several friends. The amount they pay extra shouldn't be that much more. I need my own space and a quiet place without people at times. How old is everyone else? Some of do this for our mental health. Take care of you but show up at the events and have fun!
    via B-Roads_wrongway
  • Wonderful_Shower_793 You need to tell them bluntly that you're not partaking of their accommodations because they need to budget a 5 way split rather than 6 ways. NTA. I'm also 40 and the only person I want to share a bed with is my cat.
    via Wonderful_Shower_793

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bed hotel house bachelorette party Airbnb bedroom vacation
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