Mom calls 19-year-old daughter 'selfish' for not wanting to wear a matching dress on Mother's Day: 'I do not like wearing dresses. They make me uncomfortable.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Mar 16, 2026 8:00 PM EDT

They're not even going anywhere fancy for Mother's Day. She wants the whole family to wear matching dresses for no reason.

There are times in a parent's life when they desperately need to tell their kids exactly what to wear. If your 4-year-old son wants to wear shorts when it's below freezing outside, you're going to have to nip it in the bud, no matter how much he cries about it. If your daughter plans to wear a white dress to her friend's bridal shower, it's of the utmost importance that you tell her exactly why that is such a horrible idea. There's a chance she put it on without thinking about how gauche it is!

As your child ages, there are fewer and fewer times that you can control what they wear, and that's a good thing! Adult children shouldn't have to dress exactly as their parents want them to. It's understandable to want your kid to wear a nice outfit for a formal event, but insisting that they have to wear a specific dress "because I said so" is kind of ludicrous.

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  • A person with green hair and glasses sitting on a curb
    via Farshad Sheikhzadeh

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • If your kid is an adult, it's probably time to ditch matching mother-daughter dresses. It looks immature and strange for entire families to match each other when they are all adults. If both mother and daughter want to match, more power to them, but the mother in this story is pressuring her daughter to wear a dress she hates for Mother's Day. They're not even going out to do something fancy or take professional pictures, and she wants her to buy a new dress so the whole family can match. The daughter doesn't even like wearing dresses, and her mother clearly has control issues regarding her daughter's hair and style.

  • Am I wrong for telling my mom that I don’t want to wear a dress for Mother’s Day?

    So I(19F) Just had a conversation about Mother's Day with my mom. She told me that she found the family outfits to wear for Mother's Day.
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • And I thought that it would be cute to all dress up together and go out.
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • So she shows me the outfits and not only is it a little girl on the front picture, she's an a dress.
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • A little girl in a floral dress holding a bouquet of flowers
    via Anita Austvika (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I for one, do not like wearing dresses. They make me uncomfortable and I don't like how they feel.
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • I only wear them for special occasions and formal events if it's required. I asked her if I can find an outfit that matches the ones that she found that isn't a dress.
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • She tells me that I'm selfish for not wanting to wear a dress. I've had these types of problems with her before where she would talk about how she doesn't like how I do my hair and that she LET me do my hair the way I did.
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • A woman holding her fists up in the air
    via engin akyurt

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I just don't understand how me not wanting to wear a dress for Mother's Day makes me selfish.
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • Tolkitties INFO: Are professional family photos being taken or is the outfit request just for fun?
    via u/Tolkitties
  • Plastic_Carpenter465 Original Poster's Reply We never take professional photos, all I know is that we were going out for dinner. We never do anything big for Mother's Day anyway
    via u/Plastic_Carpenter465
  • numbahibbage NTA. Love when Mother's Day is weaponized for emotional leverage. "If you loved me, you wouldn't be so selfish and just wear the dress." Sounds like a pattern. You're 19. You didn't even turn down the whole "matchy" idea outright, just asked for a variation. Sounds like she still wants you to be a child, and that's not your problem.
    via u/numbahibbage
  • creatively_inclined NTA. To be frank I don't understand the need for you to wear a dress or for outfits to match. That reads very much like your mom just wants pictures for social media.
    via u/creatively_inclined
  • Proud-Salamander761 I stopped choosing what my kids wore pretty much as soon as they were able to express a preference. The idea of adult children dressing to please me is baffling. I'm just glad to see them and spend time with them. Please tell your mum her request is unreasonable and makes you feel uncomfortable. If she isn't prepared to explore this with you and understand you better maybe you shouldn't attend? Though I understand that might be difficult. Families can be hard. Look after your
    via u/Proud-Salamander761
  • plaid_8241 NTA you are legally an adult. I would just tell her you will not be wearing a dress and if she can not abide by your boundary than you will not be particpating in any mother day activites.
    via u/plaid_8241
  • OverMIMs NTA I had the same kind of mom. - Stand your ground, this isn't about you at all but about her and her need to have control.
    via u/OverMIMs
  • AJSCRPT NTA your mother sounds controlling AF.
    via u/AJSCRPT
  • tictactabernac NTA, she's being selfish for wanting you to be uncomfortable for her benefit
    via u/tictactabernac
  • Comeback_321 You're an adult. No means no.
    via u/Comeback_321
  • Terrible Tradition271 NTA. By your mother's own reasoning, she's being selfish by wanting you to wear something she knows you're not comfortable in.
    via u/TerribleTradition271

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hair mother teenagers selfish mothers day matching family dress daughter adult children
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