Woman refuses to give her sister a spare house key she is demanding “just in case” after she snoops through her bedroom during her birthday party

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  • Woman sitting on the kitchen floor in front of an open fridge, looking at her phone with a takeout container nearby.
  • AIO for refusing to give my sister my “extra” house key after what she did at my birthday?

    I (27F) live alone and I'm pretty private about my space. I don't give spare keys out easily.
  • The only person who had one was my ex, and I got that back when we broke up last year.
  • My sister (31F) has been asking for a spare key "just in case" for months now.
  • I've always kind of brushed it off because she has a history of not really respecting boundaries.
  • Like, she'll show up unannounced or go through my fridge and make comments about what I'm eating.
  • Small stuff, but it adds up. Anyway, last weekend I had a small birthday thing at my place.
  • Woman sitting on the kitchen floor by an open fridge, looking at her phone with a takeout box beside her.
  • Nothing crazy, just a few friends, some drinks, takeout, etc. My sister was invited. At some point in the night, I noticed she was in my bedroom, which already annoyed me because I keep that door closed when I have people over.
  • I went in and she was literally going through a drawer in my nightstand. I asked her what she was doing and she laughed and said she was "just looking" and made a joke about me "definitely hiding something." I told her to get out and she acted like I was overreacting and said "we're sisters, it's not that serious." I let it go at the time because I didn't want to make a scene, but I was honestly really uncomfortable.
  • Fast forward to yesterday, she texts me again asking for a spare key because "what if something happens and I need to get in to help you." I told her no, and brought up what happened at my birthday.
  • She got defensive immediately and said I was being dramatic and holding a "harmless joke" over her head.
  • Then she said it's "weird" that I'm so protective over my space and that I'm "acting like a stranger instead of family." Now my mum is involved and saying I should just give her a key "for emergencies" and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing.
  • I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable, but now I'm second guessing because they're both acting like I'm the problem.
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  • Significant-Cod-1451 Original Poster's Reply i love mozzarella
  • baboonontheride NOR. This is looney tunes. You didn't ask for advice, but... I'd give her a key. Not to my place, but just \A\ key to shut her up. First time she goes to use it when she has no reason to... there ya go. Proof she can't ignore that she shouldn't be trusted. Edited to add- holy chao y'all, thanks for the awards, glad to give some folks a smile today.
  • Heavy-Temporary5450 Not sure if this real or not, but if it's real, I think you're under- reacting. Your sister isn't owed your privacy because 'you're sisters'. I'm an only child, admittedly, but everyone deserves privacy. Your sister is using that excuse to snoop. And her story about needing a key? Absolutely not. You can decide if you want someone to have an extra key and it doesn't have to be your biological sister. Can be a neighbor or a close friend. This is weird and a big violation of pr
  • Beautiful_Ava_ you're not overreacting at all. what she did wasn't "a harmless joke," it was a clear boundary violation. going into your bedroom during a gathering is already crossing a line, but opening your nightstand drawer?? that's very personal space. the fact that she laughed it off instead of apologizing tells you everything about how she views your boundaries. and honestly, this is exactly why you don't give her a key. she's already shown that when she has access, she uses it however she
  • FairyGothMommy Give her a key that doesn't work. Put up hidden cameras as your doors and then watch her try to get in and snoop when you're not home. Then confront her with the footage (with mom present) and say that she will NEVER get a spare key and to stop asking.
  • Vegetable-War-6127 Nope! Your space, your rules! Your sister is clearly weirdly obsessed and just wants to snoop around. Don't let that happen! Stay strong! You are NOR, but your sister definitely is. She's also clearly manipulative. Your mum just wants an easy life and is sick of listening to your sister. Also, I don't get the 'joke'.... What's so funny to her about going through your drawer.
  • judgeeveryonesbiznes NOR- Tell your sister jokes (harmless or otherwise) are funny. If she can write a two thousand word essay convincing you how her disrespecting your privacy and going through your things was funny you will reconsider the key request. Otherwise stop asking it is just getting weird now.
  • ShaadowKaat24 Not that you should have to, but it couldn't hurt to put a lock on your bedroom door for when guests are over. NOR, she proved she can't be trusted with one.
  • dandicusdanciferfan NOR. Someone who violated your boundaries even if they claim it is a 'joke' does not deserve access into private areas of your life (like your home unannounced). People like her often backtrack and say it was just a joke to make you question your sanity/judgement, but you are not overreacting from what I've read so far.
  • sog96 NOR. Give her a fake key. When she tells you that it doesn't work, ask her what emergency was occurring than she needed to enter your place?

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