Dad discourages Mom from taking 2 business trips because he'll have to take care of their 6-month-old baby 3-4 times a night: 'He feels it’s unfair to leave him responsible for overnight care while I’m gone.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
May 2, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

Why can't he take care of his kid for once?

There's no way of knowing how crazy it is to have a baby until you actually have one. Everyone talks about how stressful it is to feed them, hold them constantly, and wake up every 2-3 hours at night to do both. Having the life of a totally helpless person in your hands is stressful enough, but if you're doing it all alone, all day, you can start to get a little batty. It's harder to stay grounded, and in reality, when you barely ever leave your house because you are constantly consumed with the responsibility of changing diapers and soothing tears. The toddler years can be a relief to those parents who aren't necessarily "baby people."

At the same time, it is very stressful to be the sole provider for you, your partner, and your children. Both parents must share in their child's care, but working outside the home for more than half the day can also take a toll. It doesn't matter that you get bathroom breaks and are permitted to have adult conversations at work: the thought of how much your precious little baby relies on you to do this job and bring home the bacon is always on your mind. 

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  • Businesswoman working from home holding baby girl
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Mom working from home and holding her baby at the same time.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story is a caretaker and a breadwinner, but her husband isn't comfortable with being a caretaker when she needs to go out into the world to be the breadwinner.

  • Am I the bad guy for traveling for work with a 6-month-old at home?

    I (39F) and my partner (37M) have a 6-month- old baby together, and he also has a 9-year-old son who lives with us and who I help parent.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • I now have two upcoming work trips: one for 3 nights/4 days and one for 8 nights/9 days. I can sometimes turn down work travel, but these trips are important for my career.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • For additional context, since I was 6 months pregnant, I haven't traveled at all except for one overnight alone. I also don't have any other work trips without the baby planned until at least after the baby's first birthday.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • A little girl sitting in front of a number one balloon
    via Javier González Fotógrafo

    A baby turning one year old, which marks her mother being able to go on a business trip, according to her husband. 

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • My partner is upset and says it's unfair that I'm leaving him with both kids. He feels like I'm abandoning him, especially because our baby is still young and not sleeping through the night.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • | arranged daytime childcare while I'm gone. His parents agreed months ago to watch the baby from about 8am- 7pm each day. I also offered to pay for additional childcare, but they declined and said they were happy to help.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • The main issue is nighttime care. Our baby still wakes up 3-4 times a night for feedings. Since the baby was born, I have been exclusively responsible for nighttime care and I've only taken one night off total since he was born. My partner
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • occasionally helps by getting a bottle or changing a diaper, but then he goes back to sleep and I remain responsible for the rest of the night.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • Mother with her baby daughter in the living room
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Mom takes care of the baby in the middle of the night while her husband gets a good night's sleep.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • During the day, he usually takes a morning shift with the baby so I can sleep or get things done, but if he has work, I cover both night and day.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • I feel like, since I arranged daytime childcare, have handled the overnight care until now, and regularly cover his baby- shifts when he needs to work it's reasonable for me to take these work trips, especially since they matter for my career.
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • He feels I shouldn't travel at all during the first year of our baby's life and that it's unfair to leave him responsible for overnight care while I'm gone. AITA?
    via u/DeepSpace-69
  • Dittoheadforever You're NTA He feels I shouldn't travel at all during the first year of our baby's life and that it's unfair to leave him responsible for overnight care while I'm gone. Bless his heart. You do it all even when he is there. Take your trips. He needs a massive wake up call (no pun intended.)
    via u/Dittoheadforever
  • Playful_Abies9621 For real though. The fact that he's complaining about doing solo overnight care when OP is already the default parent says everything. Let him figure it out, he'll survive.
    via u/Playful_Abies9621
  • Quick_Ad630 Info: if husband were the one being offered these work trips, would he be equally offended at "how unfair" it is that his employer is asking you to stay home alone with both kids? NTA, and your husband can grow a pair. Signed, a mom who worked overnights immediately post mat leave and her husband dealt with LO on his own just fine
    via u/Quick_Ad630
  • flumpf Of course he wouldn't! It's a vacation away from them. He can get full nights sleep without a baby crying.
    via u/flumpf
  • ConflictGullible392 NTA. It's ok for you to be solely responsible for overnight care 354 nights a year but it's not OK for him to be responsible for it for these short trips, which it's not like you're taking for pleasure?
    via u/ConflictGullible392
  • neoncactusfields You've been doing all the nights practically alone. Forget a work trip, you deserve a whole vacation by yourself → Your husband is being selfish, and he needs to step up and stop whining. ΝΤΑ
    via u/neoncactusfields
  • mickbogart Sounds like you have two babies
    via u/mickbogart

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baby nighttime work working mom stepmom business trip parenting dad mom son
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