Mom gets 17-year-old daughter fired from her first job: 'She realized I would have more freedom with a job, and she couldn’t let me have it.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Mar 23, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

Getting a job could mean getting away from her mother, which she desperately needs to do. 

Teenagers need to get away from their parents one way or another. Some parents are gleeful when their teenage children take the initiative to learn to drive, get a job, and do their best to be responsible for themselves as much as a 16-year-old can. Parents of independent kids get to say goodbye to the school drop-off and pickup lines, and hello to their teens constantly asking them for spending money. However, not all parents are exactly thrilled about these changes. They like the time spent with their teenagers in the car, because it's one of the few moments of the day that they have alone with them. They don't want their babies to grow up and no longer "need them" for anything. Parents like this tend to be on the stricter side, not because they want to protect their kids, but because they want to control them. 

Clipping your child's wings and preventing them from reaching age-appropriate milestones because you don't want them to become independent of you as a parent is wrong. I understand if a family wouldn't buy their teenage son a car because he's proven himself to be irresponsible while driving. But if you prevent your teenager from driving the family car because you don't want him spending Friday night with his friends instead of his family, he's going to resent you for doing so. The daughter in this story resents her mom for not letting her get a job. 

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  • Portrait of a young Asian waitress in apron smiling and taking notes in notepad while standing in coffee shop
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A teenage girl works at a bakery, before her mom takes the opportunity away from her.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my mom that I haven’t forgiven her for getting me “fired” from my first job?

    this story requires a bit of context, so let me start with background information. I(17F) dont have the greatest relationship with my mom.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • She's the typical Asian "tiger/helicopter parent". Growing up i never really got any sense of control or independence over anything.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • It got less intense as i got older but i mean im writing this so you can guess how things are.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • Last year I decided i wanted to have more financial freedom, so I started to start applying for jobs.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • Part-time, something i could do after school to save up for the future or some spending money.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • Luckily, I got an offer and my start day was in two weeks. A couple days before my start day, my mom switched up on me and told me she wouldn't take me.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • It was like she realized i would be able to have more freedom with a job, and decided she couldn't let me have it.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • Now to preface, my mom has had this thing my entire life where she MUST tell all my teachers or basically any figures i look up to all my flaws (i don't listen to her, im not smart, etc) and it's absolutely mortifying.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • Woman with glasses and arms crossed against gray wall
    via Vitaly Gariev

    An angry mother stands before her daughter's teacher to tell him that her daughter isn't smart.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Back to the story, we get into an argument, and she up saying that she'll drive me, but only if she can walk in with me to the store and tell my manager off for hiring students "during finals season”.(Finals weren't for another two months).
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • I refused to let myself be embarrassed again, so i told her i'd just walk there.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • My parents took my phone for the night and only gave it back to me in the morning.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • At this point my hands are tied, and i could only do so much as someone who can't drive and is a minor.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • I messaged my manager and asked if i could postpone my start date. That entire day i was super anxious waiting for a reply.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • They didn't get back to me for days, and i messaged a day before i was supposed to come in, asking if they were going to continue with my training process, and they finally got back to me and told me they decided to hire someone else, had taken me off the schedule and roster, and they were sorry for the inconvenience.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • It's been a year since, and like the universe is taunting me, i got another offer and my interview is tomorrow.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • My mom is angry again and is threatening the same things, using the excuse of "Finals week" Again, it's March.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • We get into another argument. A built up resentment boiled over inside me and i blurted "i remember last year you did the same thing, and i still haven't forgiven you, and i never will" as she left my room.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • She came back in after and started saying things like "why can't you forgive me like i forgive you?
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • tell me one thing i haven't forgiven you for" and "you're not smart enough to balance school and a job" I got frustrated and told her "I just want to be independent for once" and she's ignored me.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • It's exhausting having so little control over my life and having to rely so heavily on my parents for everything.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • ATIA for telling my mom i can't forgive her? EDIT: I should mention i only asked her to drive me the first time so i could get familiar with the distance between my house and the place of work, after the first day or two i could just bus/walk/bike to the job since it wasn't too far.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • People riding bikes on a brick road
    via Taras Chuiko

    Teenage girls ride their bikes to their after-school jobs.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • she's never had issues with me walking around the city either. for some reason it is only an issue when it comes to a job.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • people are commenting asking why i can't just drive myself. i literally cannot drive because i am only permitted.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • I had to BEG my mom to start learning to drive a couple months ago, and even now i have to beg to get practice in before my license test.
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • NCKALA NTA. Bless you for trying and finding a job. Is your area safe enuf for you to bike to work? Maybe a friend could loan you a bike for a while? Or can you go on local 'for free' websites and ask for a bike, you never know, someone may be generous once you explain why you need one. If you live in the USA, you could visit sites like nextdoor.com or Craigslist, etc. How much longer before you are able to go away for college (if you plan to go)?
    via u/NCKALA
  • esotericselenophile Original Poster's Reply my city is considered pretty safe and the area is pretty walkable, though I feel like it's not even an issue of distance or my parents wanting to drive me. I've offered alternatives such as working with friends and catching rides with them, or working a moderate walking distance from home/school. the answer is always no and it's incredibly frustrating to never get a real answer to why. as for college, i graduate next year and (hopefully) get accepted i
    via u/esotericselenophile
  • Harrypotterfreak23 You need a new email. I can definitely see your mom not accepting the email or emailing the school saying you changed your mind. Same with the acceptance letter, can you change the address to a friends house? Also do you have any siblings? Or are you an only child?
    via u/Harrypotterfreak23
  • CMeNaught Your mother is deliberately sabotaging your ability to work. You will only be able to hold down a job that doesn't rely on her at all -- for transportation, bank account for your money, etc. NTA, but it doesn't matter that you're in the right, your mom is going to act like you're wrong anyway.
    via u/CMeNaught
  • IndividualCurrent296 NTA..She isnt being a tiger parent. She is a narcissist. She is afraid of living and by making you helpless, chipping at your self esteem, belittling you, she can hold you down. You will need to break free in college. She will lay on the guilt, the tears and verbal ab e. When you get older, dont fall for it
    via u/IndividualCurrent296
  • Confident-Ad7531 And hide the bike so the mother doesn't find it. I can see her giving it away to keep control over her daughter.
    via u/Confident-Ad7531
  • WhereWeretheAdults NTA. You don't have a "tiger" mom. You have a standard ab ive, controlling mom who thinks it's OK because she can hide it with the culture.
    via u/WhereWeretheAdults
  • StellalunaStarr NTA Get a new email! Omg stop telling her things.
    via u/StellalunaStarr

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schedule freedom fired part time job independent teenagers daughter job interview mom
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