Remote worker of 3 years still has to field 2pm lunch requests from neighbors, friend who assume they're always free

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Mar 29, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Are remote workers allowed to draw boundaries around their time, too?

When you're working remotely, you might have to remind everyone that you're still working. Since most people associate being busy with being out somewhere, you probably have to explain that just because you're at home doesn't mean you have nothing to do. Maybe you have parents or neighbors or friends who pile requests onto you just because they can't understand that you still have a job even though you don't have to go into work. This can be frustrating, since remote work is definitely still real work. You have to do everything you normally would, you're just not in an office. Disruptions can be equally frustrating as they would be if you were in an office. In fact, when you're working remotely, you have to protect your time even more than you would otherwise. When you have to be completely self-motivated, you need to take particular care of your space and time, lest you get sucked in by the responsibilities of the household. If people are constantly coming in and disrupting your peace, you might not get anything done. That's what happened here, where a remote employee had a lot of complaints about the way their friends and family were treating them. Even though they were fully employed and working harder than ever, they were tired of being treated like they were sitting around the house all day. They wondered what the larger community of remote workers would think about that.

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  • 01
    A macbook pro and a desktop with of a remote worker
    via Domenico Loia

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    Three years remote and I still can't explain to people in-person why I'm busy at 2pm on a Tuesday.

    My neighbor asked if I wanted to grab lunch today because you're home anyway. My mom calls during the workday because it's not like you're in a meeting. My friend wants to quickly help him move a couch on Wednesday afternoon. There's this invisible cultural assumption that remote = available. That your time has no structure. That home and work can't truly coexist in the same space
    via krikond
  • 03
    I've been remote for three years. I've shipped more, earned more, and worked harder than in any office job I've had. But I still can't shake the feeling that I'm constantly justifying my existence to people who think I just watch Netflix in pajamas
    via krikond
  • 04
    Anyone else feel like remote work is incredibly normalized in our world, but still completely misunderstood by everyone outside of it?
    via krikond
  • 05

    Commenters shared their perspectives on the story.

    KeepOnRising19 I get it. But also, you need to set firm boundaries. Don't answer the phone or say yes to workday requests. And make it clear that you'd have to use PTO in order to help just like everyone else. The lunch thing should be OK, though, if you normally take a lunch break.
    via KeepOnRising19
  • 06
    Hu... Been remote since 2011. Im CST and my company is EST. Every Friday around 2/3 pm CST I get what I've affectionately dubbed 'Friday fires'. People sandbagging problems until the last second and passing them off to clear their
    via HurryUpAndWait82
  • 07
    mind... making it my problem to at least respond and aid. I'm HRIS HR Operations. So if it gets to me, it's a problem that has some urgency behind it.
    via HurryUpAndWait82

  • Everyone has a different relationship to remote work, and no two jobs are the same. Some allow more flexibility than others, and it's up to you how to engage with that. The problem is, though, that some people expect more from you in your personal life if you have a flexible schedule. They might then put you in situations that are difficult to mitigate. Commenters gave advice and anecdotes from their personal experience, and it became clear that this was a bigger problem than just what was going on in this story. Keep scrolling to get the full picture. 

  • 08
    mis_1022 I do have the freedom in my wfh job to take lunch at 2pm instead of noon if I wanted to do it doesn't sound that strange to be asked to lunch by a neighbor to me. Each wfh job is different some are in meetings all day but mine is asynchronous just get
    via mis_1022
  • 09
    your work done kind of job and make up the time when it works for me. That is part of confusion for others too, not everyone is the same.
    via mis_1022
  • 10
    A woman sits in front of a laptop computer in a room with plants
    via Unsplash+ (Molly the Cat)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    FlowmoteCoaching Most people still associate "busy" with being physically somewhere, so if you're at home they assume your time is flexible and interruptible, even if your day is fully booked or you're deep in something that needs focus. From the outside it looks like you're just around, so they treat you like you're available.
    via FlowmoteCoaching
  • 12
    I see this a lot with remote workers, and the real issue isn't productivity, it's boundaries and perception. The people who handle it best are very consistent with how they respond, so they don't over explain or apologise, they just treat their work hours as fixed and redirect people to another time. Over time people adjust, but only if you don't keep making exceptions.
    via FlowmoteCoaching
  • 13
    Aardvarklll6079 That's because there are a lot of people that take advantage and do watch Netflix in their pajamas. They give the good ones a bad name. We had a meeting once and someone shared their screen and they were in the middle of playing Roblox. They ended up being let go 2 days later.
    via Aardvarklll6079
  • 14
    Butterwhat I may sometimes have something play in the background (quietly so it can't be heard on calls) and do wear pajamas only if i dont have any meetings, but I'm constantly on calls or reviewing documents and my pay is based on my
    via Butterwhat
  • 15
    output per hour so I have to bust my a we have to be logged in to take calls for a percentage of the day and if we miss more than two calls in a month we would be written up. I'll always be thankful to my best friend who I lived with at one point as she saw my workdays firsthand and
    via Butterwhat
  • 16
    always speaks up when people start the 'oh you just do nothing all day/etc.' she's the first to say she has more downtime in every job she's ever had than I do with this one. love her I just correct them. but I don't care what my family thinks and they are the worst at this so.
    via Butterwhat
  • 17
    Simply_Jordan_ Yeah that disconnect is real, remote work is normalized at a company level but not socially, so people still map "being at home" to "being free," because they don't see the boundaries or structure behind it, and
    via Simply_Jordan_
  • 18
    unless they've done it themselves it's hard for them to fully get that you're actually working, not just available, so you end up having to defend something that shouldn't need explaining at all
    via Simply_Jordan_
  • 19
    Kathrynlena I think a lot of people assume that "I work from home" means that you have an Etsy shop, or you're a consultant, or a contractor, or something where you are in complete control of your schedule and you just kindof work when you feel like it.
    via Kathrynlena
  • 20
    Obviously even people in those types of flexible jobs have to hustle a lot to build their business, but they do have the ability to set their own schedule to a pretty large degree. I think it's a lot less understood culturally that
    via Kathrynlena
  • 21
    most remote jobs are just like office jobs in that they have set schedules and hours, and the only difference from an office job is that the desk is in your house instead of a building downtown. You see it with the dozens of obnoxious job posts here.
    via Kathrynlena
  • 22
    Everyone wants a "remote job" that they can do from anywhere in the world, and set their own hours, and just work when they feel like it. That's kinda what everyone thinks remote work is, and it doesn't really exist.
    via Kathrynlena
  • 23
    ivegotacokeprobl... I've been remote since the plague hit. My parents will call during the day and inevitably ask me if I'm working. At least twice a week. They also don't understand that I don't have a set "lunch" break. Sometimes I take a full break, sometimes I don't. It could be at 11 or it could be at 2:30, just depends on the flow.
    via ivegotacokeproblem
  • 24
    I recently found out that my dad doesn't believe I actually have a job so I'm not sure what he thinks I'm doing, and I don't care enough to find out.
    via ivegotacokeproblem

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remote antiwork remote work jobs job work not my job work troubles hybrid
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