Widow refuses to let her 17 and 22-year-old sons call their stepdad of 15 years their 'dad': 'My late husband's worst fear was they would grow up without him and forget him.'

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  via Ernest Malimon

  _{A pair of brothers, one 22 and one 17, standing together in front of a fence.}

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• Am I the bad guy for never letting my kids call or refer to their stepdad as dad, even after 15 years?

  
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• It's wild to have this conversation when she's eight. In my opinion, her brother's parentage should've been established much earlier in her life. How can this mom be keeping the legacy of her late husband alive if she doesn't even talk about him in front of her daughter for eight years? It might feel uncomfortable for adults to talk about their kids having different parents, but if you introduce the topic as a neutral, normal fact of life, your child will treat it that way. If you treat it as if it's a shameful secret, your kids are going to pick up on that and internalize it.

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  via u/Hot-Bed-8194

• It's similarly wild that he hasn't brought this up before. These boys are 17 and 22, and I'm sure the thought, "I wish they were allowed to call me dad," had crossed their stepdad's mind at some point during the 15 years he has been a father figure to them. It shouldn't have taken his 8-year-old daughter's confusion for him to have this conversation with his wife.

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  via Tim Mossholder (Unsplash+)

  _{The elderly mother and father-in-law of the mom in this story.}

  _{Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.}

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  via u/No_Age_4267
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  via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

  _{A young widow crying over her late husband's casket, with friends and family comforting her.} 

  _{Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.}

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  via u/Derwin0
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  via u/Hot-Bed-8194

• It's noble that she cares so much about her late husband's wishes, but if everyone in the family but her is uncomfortable with the arrangement they currently have, it might be worth putting their feelings above the feelings of someone who is no longer here. That might sound cruel, but her husband is hurting, and so is her son.

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