Coworkers spend 2 years telling employee he should leave his fiancée because she'll take his money: 'These people don’t even know me'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Apr 2, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

Often, the last place anybody wants to hear an opinion about their personal life is from their colleagues.

Unless the people you work with also happen to be your good friends, there is every chance that their comments on anything they know about your life outside of work just come across as impolite and invasive. While getting to know your coworkers can be an important part of working as a team, there is a fine line between breaking the ice and offering unsolicited opinions.

Just because saying certain things is considered bad etiquette and could even risk a trip to HR does not stop many individuals from saying it. In fact, there are types of coworkers who hold back very little if they see a good opportunity to manipulate someone or change their mind. As a general rule, it is probably a bad idea to let the opinions of coworkers affect how you conduct your personal life. Nonetheless, that is not always going to stop it from happening. The professional and the personal almost always end up having some overlap, and how much you allow that to happen is a choice. However, this can have a lot of pressure behind it.

 

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  • Two businessmen sit at a table discussing something, with coffee cups and a laptop in front of them
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Two businessmen sit at a table discussing something, with coffee cups and a laptop in front of them

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman was reaching her limit with her fiancé's coworkers thanks to their repeated comments about their relationship. Ever since he had been promoted two years ago, they had been telling him that marrying her was a mistake and that she was going to use him for money.

    Not only did she find these accusations hurtful, but she also felt they had very little basis, with most of these colleagues having never met her. She wanted to know if there was any way that she could address this situation and make it better for her and her partner.

  • Fiancé's coworkers telling him not to marry me

    My fiancé has been at his company for about 10 years, and a little over 2 years ago he got a promotion that comes with a lot more travel and long hours.
    via Travellover5678
  • We've both agreed it's not sustainable long- term, especially once we're married, and the plan has always been for him to look for something more stable after the wedding.
    via Travellover5678
  • The issue is his coworkers. While he was away on a work trip this week, multiple coworkers were telling him not to get married.
    via Travellover5678
  • Saying things like marriage is a trap, that I'm just going to take his money and divorce him, and that I "don't make any money." For context, I'm a registered nurse and make over six figures... not that it should matter, but it makes the comments even more frustrating.
    via Travellover5678
  • The wild part is these people don't even know me. I've never met most of them.
    via Travellover5678
  • They're 10+ years older than us and have apparently been making comments like this for almost 2 years now.
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  • He finally told them this week to stop talking about me like that. Now I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable about the whole situation.
    via Travellover5678
  • It's not just one off comments, it's been ongoing, and it's coming from people he works closely with.
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  • I also can't help but feel annoyed that it went on this long before he really shut it down.
    via Travellover5678
  • I trust my fiancé and I know he doesn't agree with them, but it still doesn't sit right with me.
    via Travellover5678
  • How would you handle this? Would you just ignore it since he addressed it, or is this something that needs a bigger boundary/conversation
    via Travellover5678
  • Two businessmen look at the documents on the table in front of them where they are sitting
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Two businessmen look at the documents on the table in front of them, where they are sitting 

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Lillie-Bee Makes me wonder what he is telling them that makes them feel that way because they have never met you and don't know you.
    via Lillie-Bee
  • Travellover5678 Original Poster's Reply A couple of them have met me once, the other 2 haven't. They judge me solely based off the fact of how i look and because i work in cosmetics.
    via Travellover5678
  • Mysterious_Hour_3056 None of these people are invited to the wedding and maybe tell him to ask them their thoughts on you asking for a prenup to protect your assets. He needs to stop talking about his personal life at work.
    via Mysterious_Hour_3056
  • Travellover5678 Original Poster's Reply They are on trip together alot so it's inevitable that personal life stuff comes up. His boss is very nosey and controlling over all aspect of his life.
    via Travellover5678
  • Next-Drummer-9280 Then your idiot fiancé needs to stop talking. Who cares if his boss is nosy? "Look, Jim, my life outside of work isn't your business. Stop demanding information you don't need."
    via Next-Drummer-9280
  • Whatever53143 This sounds like an HR nightmare! His coworkers should never be this involved in his personal life, especially his boss! That's a huge HR boundary!!
    via Whatever53143
  • Travellover5678 Original Poster's Reply That is a great point, I didn't even think of that..
    via Travellover5678
  • sysaphiswaits Why did he tell you this?
    via sysaphiswaits
  • Travellover5678 Original Poster's Reply I'm not sure- maybe because he told them to stop and shut them down? but it's like okay.. but you waited two years to do that?
    via Travellover5678
  • Travellover5678 Original Poster's Reply He has told me he's sorry it took him so long and that he knows it was wrong to wait that long.. I'm just struggling with it alot because his coworkers seem to think he can move really high up in the company and that leaving is a mistake. However, we have both agreed that that's the right thing to do for our family. I now especially think it's the right decision for him to remove himself from these types of people. But what if the next company is the same
    via Travellover5678
  • NoodleNoggin-607 Sounds like he addressed it so I would leave it alone. If it continues, and assuming your soon-to-be husband tells you about it, then you can discuss boundaries with him and next steps. 2 years is a long time to be making those comments, I do find that weird, like did your fiancé play into the comments and banter back? So they felt comfortable making them?
    via NoodleNoggin-607
  • Travellover5678 Original Poster's Reply No he just ignored the comments and didn't engage, he hates confrontation
    via Travellover5678

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promotion work coworkers relationships love workplace fiancee
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