Daughter throws out custom clothes mom bought for her baby 'AD' because they say his real name, 'Dean'

If someone bought a custom item for your kid, are you obliged to keep it?

Personalized items are usually great gifts. They're not necessarily something you would give yourself, and it shows some forethought in getting them made. And who doesn't want something cute with your name on it? Especially if you have an uncommon name, not likely found on those keychains they sell at souvenir shops. You might keep it for life, cherishing it knowing that the person who gave it to you really thought of you. But what if those gifts had the wrong name on them? You might reconsider that. You don't want to go around repping someone else's name, that would be absurd.

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  • A new mom folds baby clothes on a bed
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I in the wrong for giving away gifts because they had the wrong name?

    My husband (30) and I (30) have a 3yo son together. My inlaws have a tradition where they take their dad's middle name as their first name and they go by their middle name. For example, my husband's name is West Allen and he goes by Allen and our son is Allen Dean and he would go by Dean. I was happy to be part of the tradition since I knew it meant a lot to my husband and in-laws.
    via Pikahearts_
  • His middle name came from my grandpa. I was happy but also felt like his name wasn't his own. We didn't tell anyone until my son was born that although his legal name is still Allen Dean, he would go by AD. I can't express how happy I am to call him AD and luckily most people were happy too, except one.
    via Pikahearts_
  • Before he was born, my mom was so excited she got custom made everything with the name Dean on it. I accepted them not knowing until later that we would be calling him AD. My mom was clearly upset when we told her but I assured her that I would still use the items since it was so last minute. I did not realize at the time that this would be a
    via Pikahearts_
  • continued issue with my mom. She call him Dean whenever he was near her and in turn had our distanced family who communicated through her call him Dean as well. After a few months of this, I finally asked why she wont call him AD and she said it was because she had a resident when she worked at a nursing home named AD and he was mean and ugly to her and she can only think of that old man when she hears the name. She hadnt worked in that nursing
    via Pikahearts_
  • home in years and only worked for 3 years there. I told her that was crazy but she refused to budge. Years later and not only does she still call him Dean but she still gets custom things with his name and even though I made it clear that he is AD, she still gets him shirts and things with Dean on them. I told her to her face that he wont wear them at my house and she just gets upset and says just use them as play clothes if I
    via Pikahearts_
  • hate them so much. I end up throwing all the items in a pile in his closet. Last week I was cleaning out his closet and finally decided to toss out all the items. I put it altogether and posted on a Mom Facebook group if anyone had a little Dean that would want the items. Someone in the group was friends with my mom and apparently asked her about the items. My mom was furious and
    via Pikahearts_
  • messaged me asking why I was getting rid of all her stuff. I told her that I have explained plenty of times that I wasnt going to use this stuff and she refused to keep it so I was giving it to someone that would. She argued with me for a long time and I eventually gave up replying. Later I got a call from my grandpa saying that I upset her and that I should be grateful for the custom items. I told him that my MIL got him custom items too and they have AD on them without issue. I said
    via Pikahearts_
  • its not that I'm not grateful it is that she is selfish. He tried to convince me to apologize to her and i refused. My sister and one of my brothers also agreed with mom but I tell them all the same thing.
    via Pikahearts_
  • A mom holds a baby shirt in her hands
    via Sincerely Media

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Commenters gave their unfiltered opinion.

    Ok_Break6916 So, the tradition in your husband's family is to call him dean, you're thrilled about this tradition, the tradition is very important to your husband and in-laws, the name is your grandpa's, BUT you chose to call your son by a nickname and you're acting weird with your mother because she calls your son the name you actually gave him?
    via Ok_Break6916
  • Emotional_Elk_7... The... the items did have his name on them... if my sons name is Nathan but we call him Nate I'm not throwing out the stuff my family buys with the name Nathan? You're being purposefully obtuse about the whole situation. Your mom is literally calling your son by
    via Emotional_Elk_7242
  • his name. My name is Alexandra- I go by Alex. My aunts (2 specifically) still call me Alexandra. Neither I nor my mom would have ever thought to correct them. (If I cared I'd ask but... it's my name, so?) YTA for making it so complicated- and ruining a clearly important tradition, like literally killing it, you won't even let people. refer to him as his "name".
    via Emotional_Elk_7242

  • That's not quite what happened in this situation, but the daughter treated it that way. The way she saw it, she was calling her child something specific. No matter what it said on his birth certificate, she wanted to call him by a particular name. The rest of the family was on board with that, except for her mother. Her mom, being somewhat of a traditionalist, wanted to call the baby by his full name. It's an understandable impulse, but her daughter didn't quite understand that. The way she saw it, her mom was refusing to learn her own baby's real name. The way the mom saw it, she was doing the opposite. And they had a complete communication breakdown that wound up hurting everyone's feelings. Was it right for this daughter to be that upset, or is it one of those things that she would be better off just letting go? Those are the questions that came up in this story, and commenters had a lot to say about it. You come to the internet to hear harsh truths sometimes, and this was no exception. Sometimes you need a bunch of strangers telling you to give something a rest before you can actually do it. Keep scrolling for all the details of this name drama story, and decide for yourself what you would have done in their shoes. Then let us know what you think in the comments.

  • DubiousPeoplePl... A variant of a German tradition? Kinda YTA. It is his name. AD is a nickname. So this just seems like a really dumb hill to di on.
    via DubiousPeoplePleaser
  • kimba-the-tabby... Children shouldn't wear clothing with their name on it; it enables strangers to approach them using their name and maybe convince them they are friends of the family.
    via kimba-the-tabby
  • So throw out all the Dean & AD clothes. The only people who should know your child's name (or names used by some family members) are people who have been introduced. ESH (except little AD!)
    via kimba-the-tabby
  • Substantial-Hote... Why are you so happy and excited to call your son such a mediocre nickname?
    via Substantial-Hotel-493
  • Tragica DeSpell ESH except for the baby. OP for forcing this nickname on her son and acting like it's so amazing. OP's mom for buying personalized junk that no one wants or needs. OP's husband and family for perpetuating this lame naming convention.
    via TragicaDeSpell
  • Misty Bondy 1987 This is extremely weird and controlling. I understand if she was calling him a name that wasn't his own, but nicknames are just that, a nickname. I had 10 different nicknames from diff family members as a child. Each
    via MistyBondy1987
  • was special to me and something I shared with that family member. If he doesn't mind it as it's his name and life, you should respect his feelings. All I'm hearing is your feelings, and what you want. YTA.
    via MistyBondy1987
  • MedicinalWalnuts These convoluted family naming systems and the expectations that accompany them are hilarious to me. Do you want to call your son Bob? Fine. Name him Bob. Call him Bob. It's as simple as that.
    via MedicinalWalnuts
  • ESH for the stupid naming system and for monogramming names on clothes. Actually, everyone S ks except little Allen Dean.
    via MedicinalWalnuts
  • P... Yta. What a petty childish thing on both sides. You named him Allen Dean and are mad people are not following the nicknames you gave him. Really? I could understand if you were a really young mother. But you're 30??? What an easy,
    via Penny4004
  • spoiled life you must have led. Throwing clothes out because they have got son's name on them and not the nick name you chose. I hope you are not as controlling with your son as you are your mother.
    via Penny4004
  • ShillinTheVillain ESH. You went along with the family tradition, by which his name would be Dean. Then you waffled and chose AD instead, which isn't a name, it's just a nickname based on his initials. And you did so after your mom had already gotten gifts with his name on it.
    via ShillinTheVillain
  • She s ks for refusing to use the name you chose, but you're both being kinda lame about it. Before long your son will be old enough to decide for himself.
    via ShillinTheVillain

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