20 Saturday Snail Memes for a Slow Weekend Morning

Kick back, relax, unwind. Rewind. Every weekend deserves its time, and every person deserves their resting and resetting before another week starts. But "taking it slow" isn't just a random motto for us, animal lovers. We have some great examples from the vast and varied animal kingdom. Wildlife is always a great example to go by, for many things in life - and if you're a true animal lover, you already know it. For the weekend, we're here to chill with the slowest animals out there for inspiration. We might have other weekends dedicated to sloths, tortoises, or starfish, but this Saturday we're going garden-style slow - with snails.

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via @s8n
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via @ShowYourCat
If we had to choose to have a “frog weekend” or a “snail weekend”, we'd always go for the snail option. Think about it - you've gone through an entire workweek, jumping like a frog from task to task, jugling all the checkboxes in your to-do list, and having to hop from meeting to meeting while still trying to have just a little bit of free time in the evenings. That sounds like something no one wants to replicate from their week into their weekend. That's why we'll always choose a snail weekend - slow, steady, and splendid.
If not snails, what other animal weekends would be the best? We think a wombat weekend would do great - round and wobbly. A whale weekend will be great - not just in size, but also in vibe. But now? Just a snail weekend.
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via @sir-thursday
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via @hourly_s***post
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via @equine__dentist
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via BBC NEWS
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via @thesoldierfromthemountains
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via University of Nottingham/Angus Davison/Twitter
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via @ProScitor
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via @Channel3Memes
Is this a challenge for our nerd mind? Yes, it is. Here's the loot for a Dire Snail with these D&D stats:
Vial of "Quick" Silver: A jar of shimmering snail mucus. If smeared on boots, the wearer moves at normal speed but leaves a trail of bubbles that pop with a loud quack sound.
The Shell of Minor Inconvenience: A hollowed-out shell that can be worn as a backpack. It adds +1 to AC, but reduces your movement speed by 10 feet because it's "psychologically heavy".
Salt-Crusted Slime-Ball: A gelatinous orb. When thrown at an enemy, they must succeed on a DC 10 Dexterity save or be compelled to spend their next turn aggressively sneezing.
The Escar-go-around Ring: A ring made of calcified swirl. Once per day, you can cast Expeditious Retreat, but you can only move in a perfect circle.
Bonus ingredient:
If your players have an Alchemist or a particularly gross Wizard, they can harvest the slime to make Dire Slime: It acts as a powerful adhesive, but it takes 1d4 business days to actually dry. Until then, it just smells faintly of damp cabbage.
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via @hometoursandotherstuff
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via @hometoursandotherstuff
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via @hometoursandotherstuff
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via @djaonielsen
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via @hometoursandotherstuff
Would you push the snail button if it meant more and more snail weekends? We would.
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via @memeuplift
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via @controdicting
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via @SpillTheMemes
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via @grossb0y
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via @equine__dentist