Woman refuses to let her roommate move her boyfriend and his 2 kids into their 2 bedroom apartment: 'She said I’m being selfish and unsupportive of her relationship.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Apr 10, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

There is not enough room to fit 5 people in their apartment.

When searching for a roommate, one of the most important questions you can ask is, "Do you have a child, or are you dating someone who has a child?" It might feel icky to ask such a personal question, but if you're not comfortable having kids you don't know in your living space, it's a reasonable question. Nobody should be forced to share their apartment with a kid, even for a short period, if they don't feel comfortable with that. If your roommate is a deadbeat dad of two, whose baby mama is rarely on the up and up, don't be surprised when his two kids get shipped to his door one day to live with him, and you've got two new roommates.

Sometimes life circumstances change, forcing you to change your living arrangement. If your roommate tells you that they're pregnant, you might choose to leave at the end of the lease, because you do not want to live in the same apartment as a newborn baby who can't stop crying. You might feel guilty for making your pregnant roommate have to find another roommate, but you need to protect your peace. It's so unpleasant for a parent to live with someone who is annoyed by their child's presence. You shouldn't change your living situation to center the nuclear family without everyone in the household consenting to the change. Otherwise, everyone in the house will be unhappy.

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  • A happy father with a toddler son indoors in kitchen at home opening fridge
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Young dad holds his toddler son, hoping to move in with his girlfriend and her roommate.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for telling my roommate she can’t move her boyfriend and his kids into our place?

    I live with my roommate and we've had a pretty smooth setup for the past year.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • We split rent evenly, both work full time, and it's been pretty low stress. Recently she started dating someone new, and things moved really fast.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • Now she told me she wants her boyfriend to start staying over more, and eventually move in.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • The issue is he has two kids, and she said they'd be around a lot too.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • A small toddler boy holding a newborn baby brother at home
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The two small children were fathered by the roommate's boyfriend.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This completely caught me off guard because when we moved in together, it was just supposed to be the two of us.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • I didn't sign up to live with a couple, let alone kids. I work a lot and really value having a quiet space when I'm home.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • A woman sitting on the couch holding a cup of coffee, enjoying her quiet time at home
    via Julian Bock

    A woman sitting on the couch holding a cup of coffee, enjoying her quiet time at home.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I told her I wasn't comfortable with that and that I don't think it's fair to suddenly change the living situation like that.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • She got upset and said I'm being selfish and unsupportive of her relationship, and that I should be more understanding because it's important to her.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • Now things are really tense between us, and I feel like I'm being made out to be the bad guy for just wanting what we originally agreed on.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • AITAH for not wanting her boyfriend and his kids basically moving into our place?
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • CynicalSince74 NTA If she wants to live with him and his kids they need to get their own place
    via u/CynicalSince74
  • Aromatic_Service_439 Original Poster's Reply That's what I'm saying. I need my space. Not little kids screaming and breaking my personal belongings.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • celticmusebooks So how much will he be paying for him and his kids to invade...opps I mean move in with you? I'm seeing five people who will be sharing the apartment so your share of rent and utilities going forward would be 20%. What does the lease say about moving other people in who aren't on the lease?
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • Aromatic_Service_439 Original Poster's Reply Well to what we agreed, everything is 50/50. However I'm starting to think maybe I should contact our leasing office at this point.
    via u/Aromatic_Service_439
  • Plastic-Cabinet67 Things moved fast because he needed a place to live.
    via u/Plastic-Cabinet67
  • Daddinator 1701 NTA. This is absurd. Of course she can't add 3 more tenants to your home without your approval. The idea is nonsensical
    via u/Daddinator1701
  • Worth-Season3645 NTA...But you both now have to decide who moves out when the lease is up. She wants to add a family, you do not. Living together as roommates is not going to work anymore.
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • Due-Yoghurt4916 Check you lease and be prepared to move. If she disregards your no than fill in the landlord. I better they will have a problem with three new tenants not on the lease causing damage and wear and tear to the property
    via u/Due-Yoghurt4916
  • TangerineCouch18330 Study the lease to make sure of your rights. Notify the landlord proactively. Say NO!
    via u/TangerineCouch18330
  • Big-Benefit-230 WHAT???? You cannot move a significant other with kids into a shared living space. Who the h | doe she think she is. ABOLUTELY PREPOSTEROUS.
    via u/Big-Benefit-230

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