Woman refuses to visit her Mississippi in-laws because it's 80 degrees inside their house in the summer, sparks debate when she suggests an alternative: ‘It's unbearable; I do not sleep'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Apr 19, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

Even the strictest dads can agree that setting the thermostat to 80 degrees is too dang hot. 

But this woman's in-laws liked it that way and refused to compromise when they visited, causing drama over their annual summertime vacation. After years of enduring sweaty days, sleepless nights, and dizzying heat headaches, this woman finally put her foot down and refused to repeat her summer mistakes of the past. 

This year, she wouldn't lie awake in a pool of sweat while listening to bayou bugs chirp through the open window; this year, she was going to do something different with her vacation hours.

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    via Getty Images (CentralITAlliance)

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  • PTO hours are a precious thing and shouldn't be squandered over unrestful, unpleasant holidays. 

    Yet, oftentimes, family obligations cloud the working person's vision when they're planning the vacation dream-boards. Big family reunions, annual retreats, and the yearly holidays consume most people's paid time off, and although everyone loves to maintain happy, healthy family relationships, sometimes they need a real vacation too. 

    People need the tropical resort and the lavish, no-alarm hotel room stays just as much as they need quality family time. 

    So when your annual PTO is totally consumed with family mealtime, squabbling cousins, parental complaints, and no personal time for yourself, it's going to run you ragged. Recognizing a trend of exhausting family vacations, this woman decided to take her PTO into her own hands, putting her needs first this year. 

    However, her self-love decision turned into a debate with her husband when she refused to visit her in-laws. Simply put, it was just too hot in the house in the summertime, and instead of being cranky, sweaty, and uncomfortable, she wanted to be happy and temperature-regulated instead. That's not so much to ask, is it? 

    Well, when she suggested a reasonable compromise, the whole family became prickly and took it the wrong way. The house wasn't the only thing heating up for the summer. 

  • [I refuse] to visit in laws bc of house temp

    My (36F) husband's (37M) family lives out of state. We are in the DC area and they live in southern Mississippi.
    via wrenchinapot
  • Every summer, we spend two weeks visiting. My in laws are great, except for one thing.
    via wrenchinapot
  • They keep their house (in the summer) at 80 degrees. It's unbearable. I do not sleep. It makes me nauseous. If I try to ask for more AC, they oblige for 10 minutes then complain about being too cold.
    via wrenchinapot
  • Cheezburger Image 10624754944
    via Pexels (Vitaly Gariev)

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • My husband is also miserable, but he deals with it. Tonight, I told him he's more than welcome to visit this summer, but I will not be
    via wrenchinapot
  • joining him. It's not relaxing for me. I do not want to use my vacation time to be miserable for two weeks.
    via wrenchinapot
  • Cheezburger Image 10624754688
    via Getty Images (CentralITAlliance)

    (Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.)

  • He got upset and said spending time with his family and his wife together is important to him. He said I was being selfish (I am being
    via wrenchinapot
  • selfish, but I don't think it's a bad thing here). I explained I understand that, but unless we can stay in other accommodations (like a hotel) or if his parents
    via wrenchinapot
  • agree to make the interior cooler for the visit, I will stay behind. Of course, he wants to stay with his family. But
    via wrenchinapot
  • he won't say anything to them about the temperature. This upset me. I told him part of being married is watching out for the
    via wrenchinapot
  • wellbeing of your partner and of course it escalated. So have at it. AITAH for not visiting my in-laws
    via wrenchinapot
  • until something changes? It seems like such a trivial issue, but it can be unbearable getting minimal sleep, sweating all the time, with no relief for 14 days straight.
    via wrenchinapot
  • Editing to add: it would be difficult for them to travel to visit us, especially for two weeks. They do visit us, and we see them multiple times a year.
    via wrenchinapot
  • Husband's relationship with my family is great. My family lives closer, so it's easy to spend a weekend with them here and there.
    via wrenchinapot
  • gymratt17 Stay at a hotel. Lets you do shorter visits or meet up at more temperature normal locations.
    via gymratt17
  • holyflurki... NTA, and staying at a hotel is an extremely fair compromise. If your husband would prefer staying at his parents' while you get the hotel to yourself, even better!
    via holyflurki
  • Keep firm on your limits, here. It's not fair that he's too chicken to speak up himself and expects you to suffer for two weeks because of it.
    via holyflurki
  • Considera... Are they older people? Sometimes older people in the South keep their AC set at that temperature to prevent from having an expensive electricity bill.
    via Considera
  • Older people normally get cold fast, even in the summer. My dad wore a jacket in the house during the summer. He stayed cold.
    via Considera
  • geekgirlwww NTA sucking up all your vacation time to spend with your in-laws in Mississippi is absurd. Being hot, sick and uncomfortable for two weeks is also ridiculous.
    via geekgirlwww
  • ClassyBroa... I could NOT sleep in those conditions and I also would refuse. Your husband needs to stand up for you.
    via ClassyBroa

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