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"AIW for muting my coworker on every platform after she told my business to the whole office."
“okay so a little backstory. me and 'Claire' have been work friends for about two years, we'd grab lunch sometimes, vent about work stuff, normal coworker friendship. back in february I was going through something personal […] that turned out to be nothing but at the time I didn't know that yet and I was pretty scared. I told Claire about it bc I trusted her and also because I needed to talk to someone and I didn't want to worry my family before I had any actual answers."
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"two days later my manager pulled me aside and asked how I was doing ‘with everything going on.’ I was confused and she clarified she'd heard I had [something personal going on]. I have no idea how many other people she told, I found out later that at least three other coworkers knew, one of them someone I genuinely barely speak to. I never confirmed or denied anything, just said I was fine and changed the subject and went back to my desk and sat there feeling kind of sick about it."
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"I haven't confronted Claire directly bc honestly I don't trust myself to stay calm about it and also what's the point, she already did it. I just quietly muted her on slack, removed her from my close friends on instagram, and stopped initiating any lunch plans. she's noticed and asked if everything is okay twice and I've just said yeah just been busy. my roomate thinks I should say something directly but I don't really see the point. AIW for just quietly pulling back instead of having the conversation?"
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It's okay to feel hurt. You feel exposed and vulnerable when you thought you were sharing something in a safe space. That realization changes the way you see the person you trusted, and it can even spark an internal debate about how you handle your relationships, making you question how you choose the people you let into your life.
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Pulling back sometimes feels like the right thing to do. Silence is the clearest boundary you have left. And it's effective; the other person usually gets the message. More than enough for this situation. I wouldn't waste a bit of my energy arguing about it. But if she wants to talk, then I wouldn't deny a conversation. Still, I'd be honest about where I stand and how this event has changed the relationship.
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Someone who gossips about something important to you can gossip about anything. So it's better to keep them at a distance than to keep them close. One day, you'll forgive them and things may settle down, but deep down, you know they're not the kind of person you can rely on as a friend. So it's best to keep things professional and leave it at that.
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Comfortable-Pack-276
"that betrayal hits different, especially when you're already dealing with [something personal] and vulnerability. Claire probably has no clue how bad she messed up but some people just can't help themselves when they get juicy informationthe quiet fade is probably better than confrontation anyway since you'd have to see her at work regardless."
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Super_Selection1522
“I would tell her how you feel. That you expected your conversations to be private.” -
M04PHEU5
“not wrong , those type of people are the worst.” -
Grilled_Cheese10
“If you confront her, no matter how level-headed and appropriately you do it, you might be giving her more ammo to use when she blabs about you the next time. Best to just keep doing what you're doing. Don't give her anything else to share.”
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