Manager fires a parent who's chronically late because of toddler drama, sparks debate over the number of free passes working parents should be granted: 'I feel like a monster, but my firm was at risk'

• After months of consistently showing up at 9:30 AM for his strict 8:00 AM shift start, this employee put his boss and his colleagues in a terrible position. Behind on their deadlines and at risk of losing one of their biggest clients, the father continued to show up late, claiming babysitter troubles or daycare issues. Yet, if you're experiencing the same problems day after day, perhaps that system isn't working for you anymore. That's what a normal, caring person might have thought after being pulled aside by his boss and confronted about his lateness, but instead, this man doubled down. 

  The boss gave him so many chances and even offered to push his shift start time to 9:00 AM to accommodate him, but that only made the dad start coming in at 10:30 instead. See, it wasn't the early shift that was the issue; it was this dad's complete disregard for the time of those around them, no matter the hour. It's for this reason that this job termination sparks debate. 

  Just because this bad employee is a father, should he be given more chances when he messes up? 

  Obviously, it's important to be flexible with others, because, let's be honest, life happens. Likewise, when you start to notice a pattern that not only hurts your business but your entire workforce, there's a bigger issue at stake that has nothing to do with a guy's toddler and everything to do with a fundamental character flaw that will follow this guy like a shadow for the rest of his life. Hopefully, his next job is far less high-stakes, because that's the only employment position that can handle a chronically late worker. 

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  via Canva+ (halfpoint)

• "AITA for firing an employee who keeps coming in late because of childcare issues?

  I run a small engineering consultancy specializing in BIM coordination and MEP design. It is a high-pressure environment, especially when we have major project milestones or clash detection reports due for large-scale construction sites. I have a tight team, and every person’s role is critical to hitting our submission deadlines."

• "One of my junior BIM modelers has been with me for about a year. They are technically proficient, but over the last four months, their punctuality has completely tanked. They are supposed to be at their workstation by 8:00 AM to sync models and address the overnight markups from the site teams, but they have been showing up anywhere from 8:45 to 9:30 AM at least three times a week. The reason is always the same: toddler’s daycare issues or a sitter flaking out."

• “I tried to be flexible. I let it slide for the first month, then we had a formal sit-down where I explained that when the models aren't updated first thing in the morning, the whole coordination meeting gets pushed back, and the senior engineers have to stop their own work to cover the basics. I felt for the situation, so I agreed to a 9:00 AM start time, provided they stayed later to finish the daily quota.”

• "The problem is, the late arrivals started happening for the 9:00 AM slot too. Last Friday was the final straw. We had a massive Revit model submission for a hospital project, and they rolled in at 10:15 AM because of a "morning emergency." By the time they got there, my lead coordinator was overwhelmed and the client was blowing up my phone because the NWC exports were late. We almost missed a critical project gate that would have triggered late fees for my firm."

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  via Getty Images (Pressmaster)

• "I let them finish the day, but I sat them down at the end of the shift and told them I had to let them go. There was a breakdown in my office—I was called heartless and told I am "punishing a parent for struggling." My partner thinks I should have given one more chance since it’s so hard for parents right now, but my other employees are relieved because they were tired of carrying the extra workload and staying late to fix the delays."

• "I let them finish the day, but I sat them down at the end of the shift and told them I had to let them go. There was a breakdown in my office: I was called heartless and told I am "punishing a parent for struggling." My partner thinks I should have given one more chance since it’s so hard for parents right now, but my other employees are relieved because they were tired of carrying the extra workload and staying late to fix the delays."

  via Gl1tchCanticle

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  via Pexels (Yan Krukao)

• Jen0507

  You did a lot more than others. You even tried to change their start time to accomodate them. The fact you did that and they came in even later leads me to believe childcare wasn't the issue. The employee was just a bad employee. You gave every chance you could.

• username__0000

  Agree. This employee could have cost you more reliable employees. I’ve worked in environments like this and I’d start looking for another job if someone was effecting my work and stress levels by being late and they kept them.

  It also sounds like when they got the extra hour instead of keeping the same schedule they pushed their morning back by an hour so maybe the same things were happening. They had an extra chance and blew it.

  They shouldn’t have tried to guilt OP either. Sounds like they didn’t really feel anything after causing the mess and are entitled. You can’t have people like that on a team that relies on each other this much.

• angelcloud3

  Yeah, this hit home. I worked with someone who had constant “emergencies,” and management kept giving chances. Meanwhile the rest of us were staying late, missing our own family time, and stressing out. It builds resentment even if you don’t want it to. One person’s instability can absolutely push good employees out the door

• Consistent-Ad3191

  They were able to manage to be late even when you gave them a different time to be and they still were late. they need to figure it out every other parent does

• MargaretHaleThornton

  This. I could frankly understand a parent of a very young child struggling to make an 8am sharp work time, and that's an early start for most office work even now. But being given a 9am sharp work time instead would have COMPLETELY fixed the issue had this employee stuck to their original schedule. Instead I think they moved their schedule back and told sitters to come later and so on. That's just stupidity.

• HuntAccurate9397

  NTA, I can’t see what you could have done differently

• Gl1tchCanticle(OP)

  thanks. i really hate that it came to this but my other staff were hitting a breaking point too.

• username__0000

  It sounds like when you gave them the extra hour they just shifted their morning back an hour so the same thing happened.

  Did they even seem to feel bad for the issue they caused the day they were let go? I’d accept my fate if I messed up that bad and consistently at work and let my team down. Not try and guilt my boss into keeping me.

  I’ve worked jobs like this. You need a good team that’s reliable. One bad member and you’ll lose your best members.

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