25-year-old oldest daughter of 7 kids refuses to give money to 21-year-old younger brother: 'He pays NO BILLS'

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  • Siblings spend time together.
  • Would I be in the wrong for not helping my brother any more?

    I(25F) am the oldest out of 7. We did not grow up the greatest but my parents always tried, i'll give them that. However, my parents were VERY toxic & on n off growing up. My mom up & left back in September. Like
  • went to her new bfs house (they had only been dating a month) for a couple days & never came back (that's a whole diff story).
  • Since she did this, it messed everything up. She stopped paying our car insurance (mind you, we were giving her $ for it still) so we lost our car insurance (& money) and had to get our own separate insurances. My
  • younger brother (21M) got into an accident shortly after and totaled his car (he didn't put coverage on LOL). So since Nov, I have been letting him stay at my house from Tue-Sat. I was waking up at 2/3am to pick him up from work
  • all while still helping my dad & other siblings with rides. In feb, i told him starting the week of my birthday (end of april) that i'm not helping him anymore. I started making him pay $25 for gas & $20 for groceries. He pays NO BILLS.Also, my dad
  • was able to get a car before him (within 3 weeks - i had to wake up at 5am everyday to bring him to work so he could work 2 jobs to save up) & he worked 2 jobs, had to pay bills & take care of 6 other kids in his house plus his grandson. My
  • brother says he has money saved but technically he is in the same position as he was in Nov. Also, i started just letting him take my car to work bc i work at 7am & it messedup my sleep.
  • However, it will be the week of the birthday starting this sunday. he still wants to work on tuesday (but took the rest. of the week off but i would have to bring him home on MY bday) mind you, he just took a train to the city and visited his
  • friends n gf (has done this multiple times since nov.) & bought her hella gifts. it just feels disrespectful towards me. i have given up my home, my car (my first nice car ever that i got in January - still haven't been able to actually enjoy & already
  • out 4-5k miles on it), my time, energy, money, everything. & he is still expecting me to help him after my birthday. I feel like he's had more than enough time. He got mad at me for bringing it up (said he's on it everyday) so i stopped bringing it
  • up. I don't think it's fair he gets to have his cake n eat it too. I start a new job in a couple weeks and i want to get back to my life and focus on getting my sh together. I feel like i have been their mother all my life but mostly alot these past
  • few months (which dont get me wrong - i love all my siblings and want the best for them & want to help) but, when i have been helping and you haven't been doing the things you need to be doing, that's not my fault.
  • love my brother but ive done a lot for him and all he ever says is thanks. it just hurts to see him do all this stuff for other people but not his family who has been helping him. Like i've literally given up a lot to help him out.
  • so am i in the wrong for not helping him?
  • Large family with lots of siblings sit together outdoors.

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