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AITAH for telling my mom not to come to my graduation and just go to her my stepsister's instead?
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"She definitely put way more energy into her…"
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Mother and daughter avert eye contact during a difficult disagreement on a sofa.
The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Even once you've realized that you aren't the problem, you'll find yourself wondering if you're just too sensitive, rationalizing their behavior, and excusing it as their own personal struggles.
Ultimately, though, you'll realize that that bad feeling you've had all along of being second-fiddle is not how any relationship should make you feel, and you'll reach a point where you realize that you owe yourself self-respect.
Blended families are tricky, and create all sorts of complex relationships between stepsiblings who have found their life literally upended by parents who are at best trying to make what they know is a bad situation work amid their own guilt and turmoil, and at worst are trying to move forward and create a new life for themselves, a fresh start, with their children from their previous marriage being unfortunate baggage that they can't simply shake.
That's how it was for this 18-year-old who reached a breaking point after years of being sidelined by her mother in favor of her mother's new family. Her mother always prioritized her stepsister, leaving the now-teen feeling diminished and minimized. Over time, these feelings grew, and tensions escalated right down to the girls' high school graduations, which fell on the same day, leaving the mother again prioritizing the stepsister's preferences over her own daughter, leading her daughter to tell her not to bother attending at all.
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A mother and daughter experience grief while arguing on a couch.
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daughteroficarus
NTA, she made her choice. I hope you're going away for college, go away, don't look back, and live your life without feeling second fiddle
LevelRecognize OP
I'll be going to community college, but I won't be living with her for it. My grandparents are willing to let me stay as long as I want/need to.
I have all my documents with me. I made sure they were rounded up before I left because I knew I wouldn't be going back.
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The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
A mother looks on at her teen daughter who is upset at her.
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Eerie_Grimoire666
Your mom made a choice.
She chose to put all her time and energy into Zeke’s daughter and making her a priority while neglecting you because Zeke’s daughter doesn’t have a great relationship with her mother. Now she can’t understand why you are angry at her for being mom to Zeke’s daughter.
Which she’s going to make Zeke’s daughter entirely entitled and demands your mother’s attention 24/7.
All she wants you to do is validate her 8 years of neglect and make it look like what she did was not bad. That she’s not a [bad] parent.
I’m glad that your grandparents have your back and are allowing you to stay with them.
I recommend going no contact with your mom. Let her have the family she wants while constantly prioritizing Zeke’s daughter.
If she asks you to come back home, tell her that home isn’t your home anymore and that your mother [passed] years ago for prioritizing your stepsister over her biological daughter.
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