Resident allows neighbors to use their backyard gate as shortcut to school, until neighbors start making demands about the yard's appearance: ‘It will never end’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 5, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

How far are you willing to go to make your neighbors happy?

If your answer is somewhere along the lines of "honestly, not that far", well then, congratulations! You are pretty normal people. Why would anyone go out of their way to ensure the happiness of someone they barely know? We can excuse doing it for family members or close friends, but random neighbors? What would be the reasoning behind it?

The resident below is asking themselves these questions as they struggle to make the neighbors happy with their current arrangement. You see, this resident has a gate in their backyard that leads to a school area with lots of parking. Before they moved in, the former resident allowed the neighbors next door to use that gate as a shortcut to the parking lot, and even had another gate installed between the two yards to make the journey easier for them.

When the current resident moved in, they found out about the arrangement and didn't mind agreeing to it as well, since it didn't bother them that the neighbors crossed their backyard to reach the gate from time to time. For a while, this worked out perfectly fine, and both neighbors were happy. Until the neighbors using the gate started making demands. Suddenly, it bothers them that the resident's dog is using the backyard area, and they think the compost bin is an eyesore. Before the resident knew it, what started as a small favor snowballed into a demand-fest to keep the neighbors happy.

But here's the thing: this resident doesn't owe the neighbors anything, and definitely doesn't have to adhere to their demands regarding their own backyard. In fact, if so many things in the backyard bother the neighbors, maybe it's time they stopped using it altogether…

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  • 01
    Shadows of three people talking against a wall
    via Fellipe Ditadi

    Shadows of three people talking against a wall.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    Neighbor’s gate opens in our yard.

    We bought our house earlier this year and are running into a *mild* conflict with our neighbor. Our property backs up to a school behind us and there is a gate in our back fence
    via jenhoyo
  • 03
    that opens to the athletic field area and parking lots. Our neighbor's property does not connect to this fence line.
    via jenhoyo
  • 04
    They had a deal with the previous owners of our house that they could use the back gate and had a separate gate installed in their fence line that opens into our yard so they can
    via jenhoyo
  • 05
    use the back school gate. They use this gate for their family and friends to cut through our yard and into their back gate. They park at the school and cut through instead of driving around and through our subdivision.
    via jenhoyo
  • 06
    They really only cut through the back corner of our yard and it's maybe 15 feet gate to gate, so we have been super chill about it and said it wasn't a problem.
    via jenhoyo
  • 07
    But now our neighbor has been requesting we not let our dog р p back there because their family is tracking -p in their yard. And to not let our dog > back there. And they think
    via jenhoyo
  • 08
    our compost bin is an eye sore and we should take it down. All so their guests can have a more enjoyable walk into their yard... through my yard!!
    via jenhoyo
  • 09
    I've ignored it up to this point, but am so tempted to slap a lock on that gate. What do I do?!?
    via jenhoyo

  • Is it time for the residents to finally put a lock on the gate and refuse to let people use their backyard as a communal path, or should they try to find a middle ground with their neighbors?

    Keep scrolling to read what other people had to say about that.

  • 10
    A path leading through a fenced field
    via Annie Spratt

    A path leading through a fenced field.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    cruiser4319 Remove or lock the gate and tell your neighbour they are no longer able to access your property. Entitled much, NFH?
    via cruiser4319
  • 12
    DistantKarma Tell them your homeowner's insurance company requested that the gate be locked if you don't want to seem like the "bad guy."
    via DistantKarma
  • 13
    FriedLipstick Well we had kind of the same thing (Netherlands) and they sued us after we locked the gate (our property). The judge decided they had the right to use our garden because they already used it for more than 21 years. We just bought that house and yet had a conflict. It did cost us 10k to pay for the attorney and the case itself. That was awful and doesn't sit right with me to this day.
    via FriedLipstick
  • 14
    JuanShagner No more gate. You've been nothing but accommodating and now they have ridiculous special requests. It will never end. Shut it down.
    via JuanShagner
  • 15
    fiestafan73 "Our dog lives here. You don't. Since the walk isn't enjoyable for you, we will be locking the gate and not subjecting you to our yard any longer."
    via fiestafan73
  • 16
    Suspicious-Grand9781 I'd stop access for liability reasons. If someone gets hurt, they'll quickly sue.
    via Suspicious-Grand9781
  • 17
    Bostonredsoxgirl I wouldn't allow anyone in your yard. It's your property & you have dogs. What if your dogs were outside & something happened. You should post a sign saying dogs in yard stay out. I would for sure put a lock on the gate & maybe a camera back there.
    via Bostonredsoxgirl

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Tags

neighbors house neighborhood fence neighborhood-drama neighborhood-stories petty backyard gate entitled people choosing beggar
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