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Older woman cooking in a kitchen.
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“AITAH if I order pizza and my mother leaves me?”
For context, I supposedly live alone in another city for studies. I’m a video editor and I pay my own rent, my own utilities, my own food and a lot of times my mother’s food and utilities as she’s unemployed (Dad’s out of the picture).
She lives in her late father’s house which is pretty old and has major issues, so normally she comes and stays with me, because I have a new renovated apartment with a beach view and she can “take care of me”.
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She’s not a malicious person, and she actually believes that she is needed here to care for me. The nice stuff here are just a bonus.
I got back from the gym, took a shower, and looked at the food that she was preparing. It looked quite good honestly, little pieces of chicken were being oiled up and prepared, some vegetables were in the sink getting washed, so I thought, hmmm, I’ll like this.
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Man looking directly to the camera.
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Turns out she’s making “Chinese”, which is pieces of chicken around a plate, along with cooked carrots, celery and peppers, and some rice in the middle. I always hated this dish because I don’t like cooked carrots or rice being touched with sauces.
I asked her if she could put the vegetables on another bowl and make it like a salad of some kind, so I can eat the rice and chicken separately. She started getting mad, saying that this is what we eat and that she put a lot of time and effort into making this.
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Sure, on paper, having your mom around to cook you dinners at the end of every day sounds great, but how great can it really be when all she cooks are means she knows for a fact that you hate?
What good is a home-cooked meal that you can't even enjoy? You might as well go back to ordering food home and return to that Uber Eats cycle you know so well.
Which is exactly what the son is planning to do.
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I told her that I have repeatedly over the years exclaimed my dislike towards that dish and I always leave half the plate. She said that mothers say what you eat, and if you don’t want it, don’t eat it.
I responded that if I could, I wouldn’t eat it. I would just order a pizza and be done with it, but I know that she’ll get furious if I don’t eat it. She said if I order pizza, she will never talk to me again and leave. Am I the a**hole?
TLDR; Mom made a plate which she knows I hate, told her I could buy pizza instead, and she threatened to never talk to me again and leave forever.
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With all due respect to Mom and her good intentions, it doesn't seem like she is going through all this trouble because she wants to help her son. Otherwise, she wouldn't have insisted on cooking something she knows he doesn't like.
The question is, what should each of them do about this situation?
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Comments:
You are an adult. Your mother continually invades your space.
Sounds like your mother needs a job and to live in a place that she can afford and is acceptable. - misstiff1971
So she went to your house, made food for you as a way to "help" you, but choose a dish she knows you hate, and get upset at you for not eating it?
Weird flex but ok. NTA - Broad_Respond_2205
"Ok, bye, Mom. Know that never speaking to me again means you're going to have to get a job, because I'm done paying your bills. If that's a problem, I suggest you start treating me like the adult I am instead of having a tantrum when I tell you for the umpteenth time that I hate this particular dinner you're making." - Next-Drummer-9280
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Pizza delivery to a customer.
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