Employee gets second job offer with $150k salary, manager wife argues it's a 'lack of integrity' to take it: 'She had to fire someone'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
May 15, 2026 3:45 PM EDT

Does your partner need to approve of your changes in employment status?

Arguably, one of the foundations of a relationship is that you have lifestyles that are compatible with one another in as many ways as possible. If they aren't, you have to find ways to compromise and make sure that everybody is happy. At the end of the day, this is the kind of teamwork that can make or break a couple.

Still, just because your partner's feelings are important does not mean that you should give up doing anything for your own benefit, whether professionally or otherwise. If it is not going to have a negative knock-on effect on them, you might think that it will be OK for you to do. This does not always appear to be the case, though, as many find out.

You might think that pulling in an extra income would be something that a partner might instantly approve of, but that couldn't be further from the truth. There are plenty of reasons why they might have their reservations with what you are doing or how you are doing it. It could be a move that has a bigger impact on your life than you think.

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    A woman and a man sit in front of a laptop as the woman explains something

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • A man thought that he was making a wise fiscal decision when he decided to get a second job on top of his existing job. This other job paid significantly more than his current role, and he felt like it would help in paying off some of his existing debts.

    However, when he spoke to his wife about this, she was upset that he would consider doing such a thing. She had recently had to fire someone for working two jobs in her own managerial role, and she felt that the move lacked integrity. The man was left wondering what the right thing to do was.

  • Wife says it’s a lack of integrity if I'm overemployed

    Like the title says. I mentioned this in another thread but I have an opportunity to OE two jobs. I'll probably just work the old job until they get sick of me under performing and that's ok. The quick influx of extra cash would be very helpful.
    via streamlne
  • Some context, my wife makes close to 200k a year. I make less than 100k a year. New job will pay 150k per year.
    via streamlne
  • A woman and a man sitting in front of a laptop laugh together as the woman holds a notepad
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A woman and a man sitting in front of a laptop laugh together as the woman holds a notepad

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Talked to my wife about it and she says that's if I do it, it would be a lack of integrity on my part. She is a senior manager who had to fire someone who was working two jobs and was super ped about it. To be fair, the person working the two jobs was stupid
    via streamlne
  • enough to post videos and other dumb things online and got caught. I explained to my wife that this would help me out immensely (we separated our finances from the beginning)and get me on the right track working some of my debt down.
    via streamlne
  • I guess this is just a rant with no possible resolution but has anyone else experienced the same thing?
    via streamlne
  • A woman and a man sit together in front of a laptop, with the woman pointing at the laptop screen
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A woman and a man sit together in front of a laptop, with the woman pointing at the laptop screen

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • warrior5715 My friend said OE is a lack of integrity because I wouldn't be giving my best to both jobs but they are in a poly relationship. The irony.
    via warrior5715
  • Ksolano8 Hmmmm not sure why she is prioritizing the profits of a corporation over her husband's in this situation. She seems like she might be too lost in the sauce with her corp job she's lost sight of what should be her #1 priority which is her fam. But idk
    via Ksolano8
  • Willis5687 Neither of the companies you work for value you as a person, only for your productivity and quality of work. Always do what's best for you and in this situation your wife couldn't be more wrong.
    via Willis5687
  • Slowmac123 People care too much. All that matters is money
    via Slowmac123
  • Particular_Cold_8366 Of course she says this with separate finances and making more than you
    via Particular_Cold_8366
  • Scott13Pippen Your wife is drinking the corporate kool-aid. There's zero reason not to do this. "Lack of integrity" who cares? Loyalty to an employer who will lay you off immediately without notice?
    via Scott13Pippen
  • Reality is you guys make good money combined already. You can please your wife and not do it or try to convince her. That's your only two options. But "lack of integrity" isn't a real thing and doesn't mean sh.
    via Scott13Pippen
  • Honestly you should tell your wife your finances are separate, thus this isn't her decision. Imagine if someone got divorced for... Working and providing.
    via Scott13Pippen
  • Commercial Paint_557 and how much integrity will these companies have when they think they can save a nickel by firing you and making you homeless?
    via Commercial_Paint_557
  • as long as you are getting your work done its a ridiculous attitude to have. Just tell her you respectfully disagree. Youre still doing a good job and making more money, so who cares?
    via Commercial_Paint_557

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salary manager job overemployed work wife husband workplace
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