40-year-old sister invites best friend to sister's bachelorette trip without her permission, doesn't understand why she refuses to accomodate

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  via Unsplash+ (George Dagerotip)

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• AITAH for not letting my sister's best friend come to my Bachelorette Party?

  This is a very anxiety-inducing situation for me but I feel it's best to start from the beginning. I (30F) grew up with two older sisters (33F and 40F) ; 33F has been estranged from the family for a few years and 40F is still around. Her and I weren't the closest growing up but as we got older, things got better. Better to the point where we got sister tattoos for my 30th birthday. My oldest sister experienced a lot of trauma from her late teens to 30s; a lot of which I was never told about because I was too young to understand but now that I'm older and she can talk about it with me, I can attest that she had went through a lot but has fought through and does her best for herself and my two nephews (19M and 17M).

   

  Now onto the issue: I'm getting married next year and a month before the wedding, my bridesmaids and a close friend of mine (20s-30sF) are going to Miami for my Bachelorette long-weekend celebration! My sister is a bridesmaid and was invited, of course. Originally, we were all gonna split the AirBNB but I decided to pay for it all as a gift to my girls for doing so much to meet me there and celebrate. I gave them a rough draft itinerary of the weekend and the activities we would do, along with the cost we would share. Booking so far in advance, it's a lot cheaper and the girls appreciate it.

   

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  via Photographe EVJF GREG

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• Bachelorette trips can be major financial burdens to everyone involved, but this bride had enough forethought to address the common issues before they arose. Planning ahead can save a lot of stress and money, and that's exactly what she did. This way, plans can be set in stone earlier, and it saves everyone the headache. But you can probably tell that it wasn't smooth sailing from here on in. All the pieces are in place for there to be some epic drama. Weddings have a way of inspiring that in people. What is it about them?

• Here's where the issues start: My sister doesn't think she can come for the full long weekend and can only come for two days. Okay, that's fine. She saw the itinerary and said to a couple of them "I don't want to do that so I'm gonna sit that out". Ummm, okay. Then, while at a winery with my family and future in-laws last month, she invited her best friend of 20 years (F40), who was at the winery with us, to my Bachelorette. She didn't ask me if she could do it. They both looked at me and I just said "We'll talk about it later" as I didn't want to get in that type of discussion in front of everyone.

   

  My Mom is pressuring me to let me take her friend because my sister has high anxiety and refuses to fly by herself and said, "She's old enough to be a Grandma," again my sister is only 40 "and needs someone her own age to hang out with!" I told my Mom I was not comfortable with that and that this is my Bachelorette and none of my other girls are bringing any female plus-ones.

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  via Photographe EVJF GREG

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• It's pretty simple. The bride gets to decide who goes on her bachelorette trip, and that's final. She was the one paying for the Airbnb after all! But her family members didn't quite understand that, and were self-serving to a fault. They didn't see bringing an extra friend as the burden that it clearly was. If you need an emotional support companion at your sister's bachelorette party, then you should maybe think twice about going in the first place. Keep reading to see what unfolded here, and then let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

• 
  via Ardalan Hamedani

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• My mother proceeded to call me selfish saying things like "It's all about me, me, me with you! It's my Bachelorette!" No kidding, yes it is. And then said, "You're taking friends that I don't even know, so how can they mean that much to you if I don't know them? Whereas we've known sister's-best- friend for over 20 years, she's like family!" Growing up, my mother had to meet all the people I hung out with and she doesn't know the friends I made at/after college, which is why she said that. Tbh, I don't care if she's "like family". This is my Bachelorette Party weekend, not a vacation for my sister's friend.

   

  I plan to tell my sister and mother, once again, that her friend is not invited and that if sister doesn't come because of that, that is on her conscience and not mine. Also, I paid for the AirBNB, so I should decide who does and doesn't stay in there right? My fiancé is on my side and said that if any of his friends tried pulling that for his Bachelor party, he'd tell them to kick rocks! The anxiety in my stomach gets so high when I think of this impending conversation and that's why it begs the question: AITAH?

  -u/Main_Dependent378

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