22-year-old cancels bonfire trip with high school friends after they turn it into a couple's retreat, they accuse her of ruining the night: ‘I was going to be a fifth-wheel’

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 1, 2026 11:45 AM EDT

Many friend groups fall apart once everyone gets into a relationship, and stories like these are the perfect examples of why…

When you get into a happy romantic relationship, big changes happen in your life, sometimes without you even noticing. Finding someone you enjoy spending time with means that some of the time you once dedicated to one thing is now completely devoted to the relationship. It only makes sense that you have to let go of some things in the process.

In most cases, what gets lost when your time gets dedicated to the relationship are some friendships. If you much rather go out to dinner with your partner than your high school friends, at some point, those high school friends will no longer be there.

The friend group in the story below hoped they could rise above this obstacle and restore a friendship that had been lost more than five years ago. In a story shared online, one of the girls in the group described how they all planned to get together after years of not seeing each other, and they managed to schedule a chill beach bonfire, just the three of them, to rekindle the flames.

However, the other two girls decided to turn this intimate get-together into a couples' date as they informed the third friend that both of them plan to bring their boyfriends along. They even invited another friend, who was a complete stranger to the third girl. When she heard the change of plans, she realized that what should have been an opportunity to catch up with old friends was becoming a hangout where she's the fifth wheel, and she definitely did not want that. Feeling like she has no other choice, she decided to let her friends know that she is not coming to the trip.

They were not happy about the decision, and proceeded to throw accusations at their friends, who only wanted to see them for a nice night at the beach. Did she make the right decision? Scroll down to decide…

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  • Group of friends playing guitar and singing songs together while sitting near the fire outdoors
    via Getty Images

    Group of friends playing guitar and singing songs together while sitting near the fire outdoors, presented by models.

  • AITA for canceling a beach bonfire with high school friends after they turned it into a group/couple date at the last minute?

    I (F/22)have been trying to reconnect with two of my old high school friends, "Tina" and "Tamara," whom I haven't seen in about 5 or 6 years. We've tried to make plans in the past,
    via thebruntwaffle
  • but between work and life, nothing ever worked out. Because I really wanted to see them, I went out of my way for this weekend. I literally bargained with my boss for a
    via thebruntwaffle
  • week straight just to get the time off. I went all out preparing: bought firewood, drinks, snacks, and even a beer pong table. The plan we all agreed on was a chill beach bonfire to just drink, talk, and catch up just the three of us.
    via thebruntwaffle
  • Then, literally two hours before we were supposed to meet, Tina texts me asking if it's cool if they invite a bunch of other people to make it a "whole little thing."
    via thebruntwaffle
  • I told her honestly that while I'm down to meet new people eventually, I was really looking forward to something more intimate so we could actually catch up properly. Tina replied saying it was fine and they'd just invite those people next time.
    via thebruntwaffle
  • But then she drops the bomb that Tamara is bringing her boyfriend, Tina is bringing her boyfriend, AND they are bringing another random friend.
    via thebruntwaffle
  • At that point, I realized I was going to be the ultimate fifth- wheel. I was showing up entirely solo to a group of couples and people I didn't know, when I
    via thebruntwaffle
  • had prepared for a cozy girls' night. Feel super uncomfortable with that dynamic, I decided to cancel.
    via thebruntwaffle
  • Now, Tina is furious at me for flaking. She's throwing it in my face that they already bought. everything and claiming "the night was specifically to see you." They are making me out to be a horrible friend.
    via thebruntwaffle
  • I feel like she's completely ignoring the fact that I bent over backward just to get this day off and spent my own money preparing for the night we actually planned. I just didn't
    via thebruntwaffle
  • want to sit alone at a beach while two couples hung out and I had to make small talk with a stranger, especially when the goal was to reconnect after half a decade. I really just wanted a girls night.
    via thebruntwaffle
  • A group of people roasting marshmallows around a fire pit.
    via Frank van Hulst

    A group of people roasting marshmallows around a fire pit.

  • Givemethecupcakes These people aren't your friends anymore, you are adults now with your own lives, who haven't seen each other in years! NTA!
    via Givemethecupcakes
  • Confident-Squash5328 NTA. But YWBTAH if you ignore the signs and try to get together with them ever again. They didn't want to spend time with you. They wanted to spend time with the other people they were bringing. You're all adults now with lives that don't interconnect any longer. Move on.
    via Confident-Squash5328
  • OakstaffGames I'd say NTA. You communicated that you wanted just the three of you and that wasn't respected.
    via OakstaffGames
  • Significant-Dig-8099 NTA they invited other people last minute without even discussing it with you first. They're not your friends and they're not acting like people who care about what your thoughts or feelings are. I don't blame you for cancelling.
    via Significant-Dig-8099
  • Medium-Captain4443 There is a reason you haven't spent time together in 5 years...
    via Medium-Captain4443
  • Someone You Dont Know 70 NTA. I'm pretty sure that they're trying to set you up with a guy, and you don't want to be set up right now. They're the ones who are being horrible friends by derailing your plans.
    via SomeoneYouDontKnow70
  • EmilyAnne1170 Since they already bought everything, they can all still go without you. If “the night was specifically to see you", they wouldn't have invited other people. NTA
    via EmilyAnne1170

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friendship date cancelled friends bonfire couples high school trip girls night entitled people
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