Manager Skips Work After Co-manager Insists They Buy 3 $60 Cakes for Coworker Birthdays and Split the Cost Between Them

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 2, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Is it a manager's job to cover the cost of celebrating their employees?

Any successful boss who is worth working for will tell you that morale is one of the most important parts of a harmonious workplace. People are more likely to make an effort in what they do if they feel their efforts are appreciated, and, by extension, so are they. A bad manager is one of the key reasons that decent employees leave jobs, and one who seems to value their well-being is somebody who might get them to stick around.

At the same time, there is only so much time, money, and motivation that most managers are willing to spend on making their colleagues feel good about themselves. After all, that usually isn't the main reason that we come into work every day. For the most part, employees are concerned with being paid and treated fairly, not all the fun extras that should just be the cherry on top of a decent job. 

Almost everybody with enough work experience has suffered through an awkward secret Santa or teambuilding day that reminds them that it isn't always so great to be a part of a workplace that does the most. A manager may feel that even more strongly.

 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • A representation of a sheet cake with candles and ‘Happy Birthday’ written on it
    via Ivana Cajina (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a sheet cake with candles and 'Happy Birthday' written on it

  • In this story, a government employee leading a small team was feeling increasingly pressured by his co-manager to make a financial contribution to the birthday celebrations of colleagues in their office. Whenever she bought a birthday cake for somebody that they worked with, she expected him to contribute—and the cakes often cost in excess of $60.

    With a day coming up where there would be three birthdays and the expectation to pay for three cakes, he was considering calling in sick just to avoid the obligation. He felt like it was overkill and put too much pressure on management to pay out of their own pocket.

  • Obligatory birthday contributions are making me call in sick tomorrow

    TLDR: Fellow co-manager insists on buying expensive custom birthday cakes for each coworker without consulting me first. Expects me to pay half. Average budget is $60 a cake, company does not reimburse. Tomorrow there are three birthdays to celebrate, OP considering calling in sick to avoid having to contribute, feels it's unfair and leading to unnecessary friction.
    via sneakerboy86
  • I am a Supervisor/Manager at a government job in the USA (California).
    via sneakerboy86
  • We do not have a company credit card. Anything we do in-office, we have to spend our own personal funds on. For example, if the fridge in our office goes out, we have to split the costs amongst employees to buy a new one. The reason I bring this up is relevant to my story (and the reason we have to pay
    via sneakerboy86
  • for these things on our own is because the state I work for does not allow taxpayer dollars to be used towards them). For context, we are also in the office two days a week for team building, three working from home.
    via sneakerboy86
  • ANYWAY, my coworker "Barbara" is also a Supervisor/Manager. We both manage a team of two each. Above us, we have two managers, and then we also have three coworkers who work in our office suite, for a total of 11 people.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Barbara is the team cheerleader and events logistics person. If there's a reason to celebrate, Barbara has the decorations, the planning, and everything else down. Barbara recently asked everyone for their birthdays and their favorite type of birthday cake.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Recently, we had two birthdays, one for Team Member A (my direct report) and Team Member B (one of her direct reports). She informed me on Teams that Team Member A's favorite cake is red velvet cake and that she already pre-ordered it at Whole Foods two weeks prior...and she also included a cake for Team Member B, with the total being $120.00. She suggested that I
    via sneakerboy86
  • chip in half. I let her know that I was not comfortable contributing $60 of my salary to buy a cake....to leave it to me to buy my employee some cupcakes ($18 for luxury cupcakes from Sam's Club, highly recommend if you have one in your neighborhood). She replied, "Well I already ordered it..." and I let her be.
    via sneakerboy86
  • The day of the office celebration, she brought both cakes in and I did not contribute because I felt like it was coercive.
    via sneakerboy86
  • Models represent four colleagues gathering around a desk at night, taking a selfie while wearing party hats
    via Vitaly Gariev

    Models represent four colleagues gathering around a desk at night, taking a selfie while wearing party hats

  • The following week (last week), she bought yet another cake from Whole Foods for one of her direct reports in- office baby shower. On top of that, she had baby shower games and gift card prizes for the participants. To her credit, she did not ask me to contribute to this celebration.
    via sneakerboy86
  • And here we are, tomorrow is another in-office Tuesday, and this time we are supposed to celebrate THREE birthdays for the month of June: one birthday of my direct-report employee, plus Barbara's, and also my direct manager (who also is Barbara's boss).
    via sneakerboy86
  • Again, I received a message today from Barbara on Teams asking if I had bought my employee an ice cream cake, since that is his favorite. Since his birthday is not until next week, I did not think of that (and I also don't have access to the list of everyone's favorite cake). Needless to say, I let her know
    via sneakerboy86
  • that if we are going to be celebrating his birthday tomorrow, I can stop by a store and pick up a treat (some donuts, cupcakes, or other sweets), but no, she insists it must be Ice Cream cake.
    via sneakerboy86
  • After lunch, I got a Teams message letting me know she went to Baskin Robbins and picked up a $30 ice cream cake and some cookies, and that "should be enough..." In addition, she is getting a cake for herself and for my boss.
    via sneakerboy86
  • The implication is real: contribute. I feel sick to my stomach and coerced to give up $30 here, $60 there, and $90 over here. Considering we are a team of 11, contributing $30 every time someone has a birthday would be about $300 a year out of my own pocket. I became a manager to lead
    via sneakerboy86
  • and earn more money, not to spend it on what I consider to be relatively expensive office treats for people that are just colleagues.
    via sneakerboy86
  • I am considering calling in sick tomorrow so I can avoid the birthday celebration altogether and save myself the guilt and pressure of contributing to what I consider to be over the top, as far as office birthdays is concerned. I am also concerned that by not contributing, I am putting a target on my back as a "non-team player" in the
    via sneakerboy86
  • very likelihood a promotional opportunity comes up, which is unfortunate. Please don't be a Barbara.
    via sneakerboy86

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

coworkers workplace birthday cake money
Scroll Down For The Next Article