Mom demands 20-year-old share her college dorm with 27-year-old sister, protests when she refuses: 'How could you not want this?'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 4, 2026 8:30 AM EDT

College should be a place where young people can practice becoming more independent from their families.

For most, it is the first time that they have lived away from the family home. This is a point in their lives when, no matter what their relationships with loved ones may be, they probably want to enjoy the experience of being away from their particular influence. The college experience may not accurately represent adult life, but it is an introduction to it.

Nonetheless, there are plenty of college students who have to deal with the issue of meddling relatives. Even when they are away from home, they want to have an influence over their life—or get them to do them a favor. 

Part of the journey that comes from moving away for college is learning how to set boundaries with people with whom it may be more difficult to set boundaries when you are under the same roof. It isn't easy, but it is normally worth the effort and the peace of mind that it brings to not allow yourself to be influenced. Nobody likes to feel like they are living under the pressure of their family's expectations and duties.

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  • A model representing a college student packing textbooks into her backpack in her dorm room
    via Andrej LiĊĦakov (Unsplash+)

    A model representing a college student packing textbooks into her backpack in her dorm room

  • In this story, a 20-year-old was living in a dorm with several roommates in her first year of college. They were already making plans to live together after the academic year had ended, along with another friend who was due to start college soon.

    This matter was complicated by the demands of her mom, who insisted that her older sister had to live with her, too. Her sibling had recently gotten work in the same city and was currently staying with their aunt.

    The student rejected this request, as she felt like it was an unreasonable expectation from her mother. Her mom accused her of not doing what she could to help out her family, leaving her confused.

  • My mom wants to share a dorm with my sister

    can. I'm (20F) currently in my first year of college, I live in a dorm with a few strangers and my best friend. We've been planning on living together for longer, as we've been getting along and doing great, just in a different
    via alexparozi
  • apartment along with another mutual friend who will also be starting college. The thing is, my (27F) sister found a job in the same city, thats not even a stable one, and my mom wants to shove her in with us. She currently lives with my
    via alexparozi
  • aunt but my mom wants to put her in with me purely for convenience. I don't want to live with her, I've finally grown independent and I'm surrounded by people my age. Me and my sister have an extremly distant relationship and
    via alexparozi
  • this is just extremly annoying. I don't want my friends to be forced to live with her, especially cause we specifically wanted to NOT have strangers with us, and she is a stranger to them. I said that if anything, I'll go live with my sister alone.
    via alexparozi
  • My mom called me mean and did a bunch of "how could you not want this. shes your sister! why would she bother you!" but i geniuently know i will be miserable living with her. I'm not sure what I can do and how to even argue with her. It's making me really anxious
    via alexparozi
  • as I'm basically leaving my friends behind too, just to make life easier for my sister eho, honestly, I think should have her sh together by now and not rely on me. I don't even know what she thinks because my mom is doing all the talking.
    via alexparozi
  • I geniuently just need a way to talk my mom about it because I'm not sure how to start, I'm really scared. I think I have the right to live by myself when both of them had that during college, I'm just ped off and sad.
    via alexparozi
  • A model representing a college student sitting in a chair in her dorm room, reading a book
    via Andrej LiĊĦakov (Unsplash+)

    A model representing a college student sitting in a chair in her dorm room, reading a book

  • DismalYam381 What? Just tell her NO. And no is a complete sentence. Don't move in with her. Why should you.
    via DismalYam381
  • AkkmanB Why can she not continue living with the aunt? You need to grow a spine now or the two of them will walk over forever.
    via AkkmanB
  • SnooWords4839 Dorms don't allow nonstudents to live there.
    via SnooWords4839
  • Madwoman-of-Chaillot Lolz. Your mom can try, but non- students are not allowed to live in campus dormitories, plus, I'm pretty sure your roommates will have a few things to say about this.
    via Madwoman-of-Chaillot
  • Jen5872 Stay with your friends. You already said your sister's employment was not very stable. If you move in with your sister and she becomes unemployed then how does her rent get paid? What would that do to your living situation?
    via Jen5872
  • Tell your mom "Mom, I have roommates. That means everyone, not just me, has to agree on who can live with us. No one is in agreement to let her to move in. I can't let her move in just because you think it's a good idea."
    via Jen5872
  • hoganpaul "Everyone in the group had to agree and, sadly, they didn't want her with us"
    via hoganpaul
  • Secure-Corner-2096 Tell your Mom it's not your decision and that your roommates won't allow an unapproved person.
    via Secure-Corner-2096
  • Pepsilover12 Tell your mother no it's not happening end of discussion. She lives with our aunt so she can stay there or she can move back in with you.
    via Pepsilover12

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