Family argues with in-laws because they are moving out of the country, and now they can't see each other very often, even though they never got together when they lived close by: 'You already see each other just once or twice per year.'

They only notice your absence when you stop trying to reach out.

​It's so normal to see family feuds over not spending time with family, but it usually is not really the fault of who they think. It is common to see family members who were always trying to meet with the whole family and were turned down to stop trying, and then get blamed for not trying enough. Especially when they are moving out of the country or state. It's like only they have the obligation to reach out, and if they stop or they can't anymore, they are now bad people. I hate the phrase "the phone works both ways", but in these cases it really fits. Every family member can contact others to meet, or at least they can say yes when the other person proposes. If they always say no and never try to meet out with others, they should accept when they stop getting invited. Is the normal course of action. Nobody is going to wait for you forever just to see if you are in the mood to get together. That is how families stop being united.

In this Reddit story, that is exactly the case. A husband and wife who get blamed for moving out of the country, as now they are separating the family. Even though they were always reaching out to meet but always received no for an answer. To the family critics, they just respond, explaining that it will be the same, as they only meet 2 or 3 times a year because the other members of the family never can and use excuses to avoid meeting them.

The way this couple explained themselves is perfectly correct. They are telling the truth, and the fact that it bothers the other family members just proves the lack of responsibility they have. They are the ones who decided not to meet and reject the invites. If they are regretful now, then it is their problem.