25-year-old son keeps his mom’s secret affair from his dad for 15 years and now feels guilty, internet assures him it's not his fault: “I didn't want him to feel hurt”

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Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Jul 1, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

Isn't it awful to get caught up in the middle of family drama that is not your responsibility? 

Families can be a real source of drama when they want to be, some more than others. Parents argue, siblings get estranged, couples split. It's all very human, but also very stressful if you're caught up in the middle of it all. No one should be playing middleman in a private discussion, especially your children. Kids are never responsible for adult problems, and should never be burdened with them. 

Redditor u/Gaarouille had an unfortunate childhood experience with an adult secret. When he was about 10 years old (he was just a little kid), he heard his mom talking on the phone with a man who wasn't his dad/her husband, along with the words "I love you." The mom was quick to tell her son to keep her secret, and he did, obviously. Years later, someone told his dad about the affair, and the son played the part of the confused kid, not daring to tell his dad the truth. 

I feel so sorry for this guy. He expressed that guilt has been eating him alive for so many years. This is why kids should never be forced to deal with adult problems. Beyond the fact that the mother had an affair, which is questionable on its own, being so reckless that your kid found out is definitely worse. Do what you will in your own time; mess up your marriage if you want, that's none of our business. But don't put such a heavy burden on your ten-year-old son!

Parents are some of the greatest influences we have in our lives. They are the ones who teach us to talk, to walk, to deal with people and society, and most importantly, they teach us to love. Keeping hurtful secrets and making them lie is not the way to do it. It'll only make your kids grow up to be lonely and distrustful. If I could speak with this guy, I would make sure to tell him that the lies are not his fault. He was young, trusted his mom, and did as he was asked. If anything, he was trying to be a good kid; no one would blame him for that. Luckily, Reddit commenters are already trying to make him feel better. 

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  • I could have told my dad about my mom's affair... but I didn't have the courage

    When I was a kid (10 years old), I discovered that my mother was cheating on my dad with another man. One day, she answered a call on her phone next to me and I heard a man's voice saying "I love you". I immediately understood what was going on and I started to cry. She told me to never tell my dad.
    via Gaarouille
  • 15 years later, my dad took me aside and showed me a message on his phone. It was from my brother's ex-wife saying "Your wife was cheating on you during years 2008-2009 with a coworker”. (She was trying to tear our family apart but that's another story.)
    via Gaarouille
  • My dad asked me what I thought about it. I looked at him, right in the eyes, and I said "What? She doesn't know what she's talking about. She's completely crazy.". He agreed with me, saying "Yeah I agree" and then he deleted the message.
    via Gaarouille
  • That was my only one opportunity to tell my dad the truth, to clear my conscience and to force my mother to face her responsibilities but I didn't take it. At the same time, I didn't want him to feel hurt or betrayed. And I knew that it wasn't my place to tell him.
    via Gaarouille
  • He recently passed away. Ever since, that interaction has been haunting me. I've never told anyone about that conversation and I hate my mother more and more every day, even though she's trying to be a better person. I just can't forgive her for indirectly forcing me to lie to my dad.
    via Gaarouille
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  • Middle-Listen9850 A different perspective but think about it this way, whatever time your dad had, he believed he had a happy family. That is still soothing rather than a haunting truth. Also lowkey i believe he knew the truth already.
    via Middle-Listen9850
  • Due_Necessary_4076 I was around that age when I got stuck in the middle of adult drama too, and honestly a kid shouldn't have to carry that kind of secret. You were protecting yourself and your family the best way a 10-year-old knew how. The person who put you in that position is the one who owns the guilt, not you.
    via Due_Necessary_4076
  • cnation01 your You should talk to your mom about guilt over this. She is the one that brought it about. Its bothered you for such a long time, let her know that you dont appreciate that. Telling the truth about how you are feeling will help you heal. The old saying, "get it off your chest" is true. It will help you come to terms with it. You've held onto this for a long time. Get it out into the open
    via cnation01
  • AlternativeResort477 I think it's possible your dad knew the truth. Maybe he wanted to talk to you about it but didn't push the issue when you denied knowing about it.
    via AlternativeResort477
  • Square-Nebula-7530 man thats a brutal thing to put on a 10 year old kid. reading this i kept thinking that adults made those choices, not you. when your dad asked you, you werent just deciding whether to tell the truth, you were carrying years of pressure and fear that never shouldve been yours in the first place
    via Square-Nebula-7530
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