24-year-old disinvites 27-year-old sister from barbecue since she repeatedly makes fun of her: 'My mom is upset saying im creating family drama over “a few jokes”'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 3, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Should you be obligated to invite your family to everything?

Sometimes you just don't get along with someone, and it takes a lot to put that aside. That's what was happening to this pair of sisters who just couldn't see eye to eye no matter how hard they tried. It didn't help that one of them had their heart set on making fun of the other. Have you ever met a person who makes themselves feel better by putting down others? It's not a good kind of person to be, but unfortunately it's a common occurrence. They have insecurities that lead them to punching down, and though it might temporarily puff them up, the right people see through it in no time, and they're left to pick up the pieces. The girl in this story was that kind of person, and kept using her sister to make herself feel better, even on her sister's birthday. Nobody should have to withstand disrespect from a family member on any day, but especially on your birthday. When you're young and living under the same roof, it's hard to have boundaries with your siblings. You have to spend all this time together, so you should try to get along. But once you've grown up and left the house, you have a little more agency over when and why you spend time with your family members. And if they're consistently making you feel bad in their presence, then you might think twice about keeping up a relationship with them. 

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  • Cheezburger Image 10643983104
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    Two sisters have an argument on the couch

  • Am I in the wrong for refusing to keep inviting my sister after what she did at my birthday?

    So I (24F) had my birthday a couple weeks ago and i invited my parents, my sister (27F), some friends and my boyfriend over. Nothing huge just dinner and cake at my apartment.
    via No_Pipe1952
  • My sister has always been the type that kinda has to be the center of attention but usually i just ignore it because everyone says "thats just how she is." Well halfway through dinner she starts making jokes about how my apartment looks like an IKEA display because i like everything matching. Everyone laughed a
    via No_Pipe1952
  • little and i laughed too because whatever. But then she kept going and started making comments about my job saying "at least someone has to make enough money to buy fake plants" and then she brought up something really embarrassing from high school that i havent thought about in years.
    via No_Pipe1952
  • At that point i was honestly just annoyed because it stopped feeling like jokes and more like she was trying to get everyone laughing at me. My boyfriend even changed the subject a couple times but she kept bringing it back.
    via No_Pipe1952
  • After everyone left she texted me saying i was "acting weird" all night and i told her yeah because she wouldnt stop making fun of me. She said i was being dramatic and that nobody else had a problem with it.
    via No_Pipe1952
  • Fast forward to now and my mom asked if my sister is coming to a BBQ im hosting next month and i said no, i dont really want her there if she's just gonna spend the whole time taking shots at me. Now my mom is upset saying im creating family drama over "a
    via No_Pipe1952
  • few jokes" and my sister says im punishing her over nothing. Part of me feels like maybe i should just let it go because it was only one night but also i dont really want to spend another event waiting for the next comment.
    via No_Pipe1952
  • AITA for not inviting her this time or am i making too big of a deal out of it?
    via No_Pipe1952
  • Cheezburger Image 10643983360
    via Unsplash+ (Curated Lifestyle)

    A mother and her teenage daughter sit on opposite ends of the couch having an argument

  • The woman in this story was starting to define that kind of relationship with her sister, and she needed outside input to decide whether or not it was okay for her to draw that line in the sand. When you're hosting something, you are in charge of who is invited. You worked hard to put that party together, so you get to decide who gets to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Keep reading to see what commenters had to say about this sibling drama. 

  • Commenters agreed that she didn't have to invite anyone she was uncomfortable with.

    Ronald McFirbank Mom doesn't have to come either.
    via RonaldMcFirbank
  • Condensed_Sarcasm NTA. They wouldn't be saying they were "a couple jokes" if they'd been directed at them. They're only telling you to let it go because you were the victim and they weren't.
    via Condensed_Sarcasm
  • kmardil NTA. Your sister was making fun of you, on your birthday. When another adult tried to (probably very obviously) change the subject, she steered it right back. When you brought it up so you could do the right (and healthy) thing and talk it out, she gaslight you.
    via kmardil
  • Bubbly_Following7930 nta your sister was ride to you in your own home. Whether anyone else is bothered by it is irrelevant.
    via Bubbly_Following7930
  • Otherwise-Yak-1644 NTA You don't have to invite anyone you don't want to. Why would you want j someone there who's a ?
    via Otherwise-Yak-1644
  • Lovebug-1055 No, no, no, don't cave on this. There are consequences for r de behavior especially on someone's birthday. If mom wants to stay home with her then so be it.
    via Lovebug-1055
  • Apart-Ad-6518 NTA It's up to you who you invite/host. Sister was taking shots. You don't need it.
    via Apart-Ad-6518
  • • SignificantFee266 "Mom, you were there. You heard the jokes and comments she made and apparently you think it's okay to belittle someone IN THEIR OWN HOME. Well, I don't. If she apologizes I MIGHT consider being around her again. Until then I don't want her back in my home."
    via SignificantFee266
  • AdeptStudent77 NTA. It is YOUR party, and YOU get to decide the guestlist. Your sister managed to get herself uninvited to any future get togethers because of HER behavior. Set the boundary and keep it. If she wants to act like an adult and apologize, MAYBE you can reconsider her invite, but I wouldn't for this upcoming event.
    via AdeptStudent77

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family drama favorite child drama birthday sisters relationship-drama little sister
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