'The water tasted funny, I felt a little dizzy': 26 Unhinged Google Reviews 5 Stars Worthy

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  via unhingedgooglereviews
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  via comegetyourjuice
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  via funny_googlereviews

• Somewhere along the way, the Google review box stopped being a place for feedback and became a confessional. What started as "rate your experience from one to five stars" has quietly evolved into an open invitation for people to narrate the worst day of their life, using a mediocre burrito as the framing device. This rating tool was created for the benefit of both the customer and the business, but some people took their ‘Free Will’ to another extent. The problem with the Google Review box is that there is just no way to filter people's ridiculous opinions. Nobody asks for a paragraph about dizziness after drinking tap water. Nobody expects a five-star rating system to double as a diary entry. And yet here we are, reading reviews that open with a restaurant name and somehow end with a full account of someone's Tuesday spiraling out of control.

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  via bobabean.shop
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  via dailyhumor_4u
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  via Mitchelle Newstead and Lorrelle Weber
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  via unhingedgooglereviews

• There's also a strange kind of trust involved. These reviewers are handing over information that has nothing to do with star ratings and everything to do with their own state of mind, assuming correctly that someone, somewhere, will read every word. That assumption is usually right. People do not scroll past a review that opens ominously and gets stranger from there. Maybe we should all get back to journaling, or maybe even texting a friend how your day was. Because let's be real, most of these reviews are undercover Karens complaining just because they can. 

   

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  via unhingedgooglereviews
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  via unhingedgooglereviews
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  via unhingedgooglereviews

• I am an avid Google Review reader and commenter. Don't get me wrong, my reviews are not nearly as crazy as these are. I mostly leave nice comments when deserved, and maybe leave a personal suggestion like ‘If you want to get a spot by the terrace, definitely get there early’, nothing too crazy. In a way, these reviews say more about the reviewer than the business. A slow refill becomes a referendum on customer service as a concept. A weird smell becomes a full sensory investigation. The businesses on the receiving end just happen to be collateral damage in someone else's spiral.

   

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  via unhingedgooglereviews
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  via unhingedgooglereviews
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  via menace3k
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  via memedealerdaily_
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  via nocap

• So consider this list a tribute- sorry, a celebration- of the reviewers who forgot the assignment, ignored the word limit, and gave the internet something far better than a star rating: a glimpse into total, unfiltered chaos.

   

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  via megantheevalium
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  via knowyourmeme
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  via no.f**ksgiiven
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  via justtakingadambreak
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  via abortedfetus133

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