Dad Refuses to Let Wife and Son Do Vacation Activities Without Him, Doesn't Want to Do Anything on Vacation

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 9, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Why take a vacation if you don't want to enjoy it?

Everybody has a slightly different idea of what it means to have a good holiday. There is a dichotomy between the people whose ideal week is sipping cocktails by the pool and those who can't enjoy themselves unless they have some kind of excursion booked every day. Some vacationers even switch sides depending on where they choose to visit. Making the most of that opportunity to be somewhere different can involve all manner of things.

A problem arises if people who are doers and people who are relaxers find themselves taking a vacation together. It is highly likely that they are not going to want to spend their time in the same way during these precious few days of free time. In theory, it shouldn't be a problem for them to occasionally split up so that they can both satisfy their vacationing desires, but it isn't always that simple. Holidays with family, friends, or loved ones are also supposed to be about that much-desired quality time, and anything that eats into that may be considered a threat. Long story short, it is likely that someone will have to compromise.

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  • A young boy laughs as his mom picks him up outside a building
    via Fernanda Greppe

    A young boy laughs as his mom picks him up outside a building

  • A woman had grown tired of the way her husband acted during their vacations. She liked doing activities, while he preferred to use them as a time to rest. She had explained to him that it was important to her that they respected both of their vacationing needs appropriately.

    However, she still dealt with her partner stopping her, him, and their young son from doing activities because he didn't want to do them. When he did join, he tried to rush through them so that they would finish early. The whole experience was leaving her wondering if it would be too harsh to tell him that she didn't want to vacation with him in future.

  • Would I be wrong if I asked my partner to go on holiday alone from now on?

    I (38F) am currently travelling wirh my husband (33M) and toddler (4M). My husband and i have very different travel styles, he likes relaxing to the point of staying inside the hotel motionless. I love adventure, hiking, activities, theoutdoors, etc. This has caused arguments in the past.
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • We had many conversations about this, and took great care to understand each others relaxation style. Before this holiday I even did a "corporate" meeting to establish our goals for the trip and what is inportant to us (yeah, i am gently autic). I thought we were on the same page this time.
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • However, he has started doing this thing where he doesnt want to something he unilaterally decides we are not doing it OR does it but makes it clear he doesnt want to be there and rushes everything. This includes thinga that me and my toddler could do
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • together while he stays behind, but decides to join anyway. He is also really overly cautious with our son who is an active and curious guy. My husband is a great guy, but he is really overprotective in my opinion, when out son is trying new physical things.
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • Today we are out in a resort place with a specific attraction that is kid friendly and adventurous. Since this morning he announced he is "at the point of the trip where he just wants to rot inside". I accept this is fine and suggested multiple things he could do while me and my toddler go have fun. He says its ok he will go to the attraction with us.
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • Since that announcement i tried to do some stuff and he kept saying no to literally everything, including: walking 2 minutes instead of driving, timing of going to the attraction, what drink to get my toddler - i mean ev-ry-thin-gah. I asked him to please consider me and
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • try to go along with some of what i want to do, or stay behind. He expressly agreed to this. Then turned around immediately and for the rest of the day continued to say no to things. No to going to a new slide at the playground (no reason, just because he was going another way), no to popping
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • in to a little instalation we were passing, no to going to our locker and get my camera to take pictures of me and my son together (something i always ak for and rarely get).
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • After a whole day of this I am currently ped in the hotel bed at 1 am typing this out to see if this is as stupid as it feels. I even went out to clear my head and got mulled wine on the way (its winter here) and offered it to him as an olive branch. Guess what he said... yeah , it was a "no thanks".
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • Will i be the a_h_le if i told him he needs to travel alone from now on, and let me travel on my own? I love him, but this is the WORST part of our dynamic.
    via FrostingDifficult529
  • A man hugs a pillow with one arm as he sleeps in bed
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A man hugs a pillow with one arm as he sleeps in bed

  • IrascibleOnion Where's the part where your husband is a great guy? NTA
    via IrascibleOnion
  • Street-Length9871 NTA - separate vacations are very common and some couples thrive that way. There are a million types of relationship dynamics and he may be very happy with the suggestion.
    via Street-Length9871
  • Adept-One-819 NTA, and stop asking. Say "toddler and I are going into this installation", "toddler and I are walking", etc., and if he says no he can stay where he is or do his own thing. He doesn't have the right to give you permission or not.
    via Adept-One-819
  • time-poor-sleep NTA but not sure it fixes anything. From this post, it sounds like you are married to someone who cannot compromise, see things from your perspective, or listen to you. Not to mention even consider doing something to make you happy or prioritise his wife or child.
    via time-poor-sleep
  • HistoricalMum YWNBTA my husband and I have very different vacation styles as well (he also just hates traveling). We do one trip as a family a year for family memories and then I toss the kids in the van and we go explore. If your husband is that
    via HistoricalMum
  • miserable and making you miserable it's not worth spending the money.
    via HistoricalMum
  • SunshinePalace Yeah, NTA, your travel styles definitely do not match. However, I suspect you might have a bigger problem, because the way he centers himself, instead of you OR HIS KID is striking. It seems to be my way or the highway with this
    via SunshinePalace
  • guy, regardless of other family members. I have a suspicion he isn't as great a guy as you allow yourself to currently see.
    via SunshinePalace
  • SnooTomatoes8935 NTA, have you tried just ignoring his "no" and do stuff? like the small stuff like getting the camera or pop into that installation or trying the other slide? he is really acting like a stubborn child, let him rot in the room.
    via SnooTomatoes8935
  • pinkwineenthusiast being with someone who you allow to tell you no is the overwhelming issue here. why does he dictate all of this to begin with?
    via pinkwineenthusiast

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