Prospective boss contacts employee's current boss without permission: 'Am I right to be upset?'

JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor

Jul 9, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

What would you do if your job search was outed to your current employer?

When you're looking for a job, or you have a job, you have to be pretty careful. You don't want to spill the beans about the fact that you want to leave, because it just makes things awkward for everyone. But your future employers need references. They tend to want people they can call up who can speak to your professional experience, and a relevant one might be your current employer. But there are ways to go about this and ways to not go about this, and the boss in this story, which was shared to the antiwork subreddit, went about it the wrong way. Sometimes, in the interview process, you learn things about your future employer that reveal a lot about the way things are going to go if you work there. And sometimes you're better off knowing this.

You learn a lot about your future employer during the interview process. And if red flags are being raised, then you can expect that they might follow you into the job. If things are already going wrong, then you have reason to believe that they will continue going wrong if and when you get hired. The person in this story learned that, and had to have some awkward conversations along the way.

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Cheezburger Image 10646011136 — *A frustrated employee puts his head in his hands at the office*
*^{Subjects are models.}*

Prospective company contacted current boss without my consent - am I right to be upset?

I recently interviewed for a position that I was genuinely interested in. During the interview, I made it clear that I was still employed at my current company. It was also clear on my resumé! They later asked me for professional references, and I provided three people who had agreed to be references.

Instead of contacting only the references I provided, someone at the prospective company somehow found my boss's phone number, and called him directly without my knowledge or permission. He left a voicemail with my boss that my boss. fortunately shared with me, and it was rather unprofessional for our industry. I was so embarrassed.

I actually have a great relationship with my boss and current company, but the pay is too low. That is the only reason I am looking. Fortunately my boss was kind to share this with me and he was understanding, but this was such an awkward spot to be put in.

I am so upset that this happened before receiving an offer. Is this standard? For context, I lived overseas outside the U.S. for nearly a decade and I am now returning for personal reasons. Is this standard industry practice? | just don't see how it's acceptable to contact an obvious current employer without consent and without an offer. Also, both my current employer and prospective employer are small businesses that wouldn't use background check systems.

I ended up withdrawing my application, but I am worried now about my current role now that they know I am looking.

Cheezburger Image 10646011392 — *A frustrated employee sits at his desk at work*
*^{Subjects are models.}*

You never want to jeopardize your professionalism at work. It's part of what makes a good office worker. You have some sense of etiquette and poise, and the ability to handle things that come your way. But sometimes things come in that you have no control over, and you have to respond to what is happening in real time. The worker in this story had to do that after a potential employer blew her cover to her current employer. She wanted to move covertly in her job search, which was understandable, but her boss wasn't allowing her to do that. Keep reading to see what happened here and let us know what you think about it.