Couple cancels their wedding party after a self-proclaimed wedding planner tries to organize it without their consent: 'Didn’t stop talking about how she’s so good at what she’s doing that we couldn’t even pay her enough for her professionality'

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 11, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

Blame the planner, not the wedding

This is one of those stories where I understand where everything is coming from, and then it gets to a point where I say, hey, you could've just gotten a new wedding planner; cancelling the wedding was not necessary. But well, maybe through all those issues they realized a marriage ceremony wasn't as necessary, and they could just enjoy their love as it was and not get caught up in social ways of demonstrating it.

Maybe situations like this teach us that weddings should start to feel more like intimate celebrations with our loved ones and less like TikTok-approved, beautiful reels. To me, the self-proclaimed wedding planner is obviously in the wrong about this situation. It would've been much worse to follow along with the planning and have an insane wedding.

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  • a woman holding a pen and a book
    via Fotos

    The chaotic wedding planner

    Illustrative image

  • AITAH for cancelling our wedding party instead of getting ripped off

    We're getting married here in Kigali! My boyfriend is from Rwanda, I'm from Germany. We've got a good budget for local standards but a small one for expat
    via Molo3000
  • Standards (most white pepole here work embassy/UN/corporate jobs, I work a normal job in Berlin) We involved some of our friends here. One girl we met at a party we asked to
    via Molo3000
  • organise the food cause she's good at that. She was also friends with the owner of the location we wanted (really nice and qur-friendly) so she did the call to ask if it's available.
    via Molo3000
  • Yesterday we wanted to talk about planning. She started by "Oh I'm so busy I've got so much to do my time is valuable" and I turned sceptic cause all she did the last three days was hanging out at ours, in bed all day, and she
    via Molo3000
  • tagged along to the taylor dropping some comments on the outfits. Then turns out she declared herself the wedding planner and had people in mind for doing photos and decoration and
    via Molo3000
  • what and what. It seemed like she wanted us to hand over the budget to her so she can plan everything and keep the rest. I was very clear she's not the wedding planner, she's doing the food, and asked for her budget for this.
    via Molo3000
  • Then she got super defensive didn't stop talking about how she's so good at what she's doing that we couldn't even pay her enough for her professionality and she used some language | thought was manipulative.
    via Molo3000
  • I called her manipulative and greedy and then she insulted back. My bf didn't say much so i took him private for 5min to talk and he noticed I got angry. I messed up by getting angry too fast and
    via Molo3000
  • person holding notepad
    via Marissa Grootes

    The self-proclaimed wedding planner doing the planning

    Stock Image

  • by that time it was too late to fix things with her and we also had to change. location bc she's involved with that. But my bf was very supportive he's like even if there's no party at all it's fine.
    via Molo3000
  • Next day our friend send me a bill for 250$ for her services (she was one of a couple friends involved in the preparations and all did it as friends without charging) and she even asked $90 for "fashion
    via Molo3000
  • counseling" for like the visit to the tailor where she literally didn't do anything useful. I think she still would've done a good party with the budget but the way she did it it felt like ripping us
    via Molo3000
  • of. AITA for cancelling the wedding party over this? Edit: of course we didn't ask her to organize the food without pay, she and her friends involved with doing the food would have.
    via Molo3000
  • gotten a way above average pay for local standards.
    via Molo3000
  • a table with glasses, plates and flowers
    via Photos by Lanty

    The wedding that never was

    Image for illustrative purposes

  • Ideally, the self-proclaimed planner could reflect on their actions and see that she can’t manipulate her way into getting wedding planner jobs, but that self-awareness is not the groom's responsibility. They dodged the bullet this time, and they can always reconsider the celebration later with more ease. It would be so sad to lose a wedding party! I love wedding parties! I think they’re traditions we should preserve: meeting with other people to party, dance, and celebrate love, but well, to each their own, right?

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