Man Secretly Takes a Photo of His Date, She Asks Him To Delete It and He Refuses

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 21, 2026 4:30 PM EDT

What would you do if someone took a picture of you without asking?

Dating is not easy. You're taking a gamble on someone who you probably don't know that well. You're putting yourself out there, and you're hoping to be rewarded with something good. But this means that there is a lot that can go wrong. When you're meeting a stranger, you have no idea what they're going to be like. They don't come with a warning label. That's what happened to the woman in this story when she went out with a new person. There was a strange moment where he asked the server to take a photo of them at the table, and the woman politely declined. It's a sort of strange impulse to want to take a photo on a first date. Sure, if it's going exceptionally well and you're both on the same page about it, then you might want a snapshot for the memories, but that's not what was happening here. She was wondering why he needed her photo, and why he kept insisting after she declined. It's never a good sign when someone immediately ignores your boundaries. Boundaries can be difficult to assert, so when someone walks over them, it's a red flag. Then, he made her feel bad about being upset about this transgression. He didn't realize that he had majorly crossed a line, even though his date was trying to help him understand that. 

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  • A man with glasses and a woman sit together on a picnic date
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    Subjects are models.
    A man and a woman sit together on a picnic date

  • Am I overreacting? A man asked to take a picture of us on our first date.

    Hey Christina Let's try La Tavola this week. I think we would enjoy it. Is Thursday good for you? Idk are you going to take a picture of me again without my permission because that was very strange. No I won't do that. I'm more interested in being with you again. I really enjoyed your company So then why did you do it on Saturday? Just spur of the moment You looked great and we were having a good time. It won't happen again. i apologize After I told you no
    via evry1isalreadytaken
  • i apologize I don't accept that apology. I communicated a clear boundary and you decided to ignore that boundary. You are not a safe person to me. That's a bit of a stretch Christina. It was an innocent moment of two people having a good time together. Forgive me my digression and lets move forward No, it's not a stretch. You clearly don't take no for an answer. No, I don't want to move forward.
    via evry1isalreadytaken
  • A man I went with on a first date suggested we ask the server to take a picture of us together. I said no. He kept pressing it. I kept saying no. As we were walking outside to say goodbye he decided to sneak a picture of us walking in front of a glass building. I told him to delete it. He
    via evry1isalreadytaken
  • said no. A week later he texts me to go on a second date. I bring up how he violated a clear boundary of mine. Now this man has a picture of us together probably lying to people that I'm his girlfriend. Am I overreacting?
    via evry1isalreadytaken

  • It can be difficult to know if you're overreacting sometimes. We all have different tolerance levels for behavior, and we each have different modes of communication. It can be nice to know what your friends would and wouldn't put up with, so you don't find yourself tolerating something just because you think you should. That's also why the internet is helpful. The woman in this story needed some outside perspective on her situation, so she reached out to Reddit to see what it would have to offer. Keep reading for the full story and then see what the commenters had to say.

  • A man looks at a photo of a woman on his phone
    via Unsplash+ (Elena Helade)

    The people in this photo are models

    A man looks at a photo of a woman on his phone

  • Commenters agreed that this was a huge red flag.

    anyachristy I was once told that how someone responds the first time you say no to something will tell you what you need to know. NOR.
    via anyachristy
  • F1r3Bl4d3 No, I suppose my only advice here would be to just block at this point. Doesn't take no for an answer and it's showing in these texts as well.
    via F1r3Bl4d3
  • philsov You've got to be joking. If you say "don't do the thing" and he's like "it's no big deal, imma do it anyways", on the first date, drop him like a sack of rotten potatoes
    via philsov
  • ForeignCup6977 Married man and Dad to a daughter here. "That's a bit of a stretch Christina" When you clearly set a boundary and said no. You dodged a major bullet not seeing him again, as this is only the beginning of not accepting boundaries and no's.
    via ForeignCup6977
  • greenmysteryman ignore the people saying you're weird. They think it's normal to take a photo on a first date. They might be - right but they are totally wrong to focus on that. He wanted to do something. You said no. He did it anyway. And he didn't even understand or care when you explained this to him.
    via greenmysteryman
  • Iheartchocolate37 NOR, block him and move on
    via Iheartchocolate37
  • PepperTheDemon NOR, if he's gonna violate a no to as something as small as a picture what else is he gonna ignore you saying no to???
    via PepperTheDemon
  • WiseEntertainment912 NOR he deliberately violated a direct no. he will do it again. block him and move on
    via WiseEntertainment912
  • General_Kick688 A lot of creeps in this comment section. Wild. NOR, obviously, but he should have been blocked immediately. Don't give those guys a second chance.
    via General_Kick688
  • MyboiHarambe99 Men who violate clear simple boundaries are not to be trusted
    via MyboiHarambe99
  • frosty-loquat1 nor. he's a weirdo. i'm guessing you're out of his league so he wanted to take a pic to brag about you, and that's why he was so weird about it. ugh.
    via frosty-loquat1
  • MexsikanaBanana That's a bit of a stretch Christina. I CAN HEAR THE PATRONIZING TONE Disgusting
    via MexsikanaBanana
  • NaughtyAudio Those are also very low- effort apologies. No acknowledgement of what he did wrong or how it made you feel.
    via NaughtyAudio
  • SinisterFeelings567 Like a lot of others have said, block him and move forward, this person is still not taking no as an answer in this exchange, while he might not be harmful there is no guarantee that he isn't, you don't feel safe, trust your instinct and block him
    via SinisterFeelings567

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long term relationship relationship advice dating fails relationship relationship status bad dates relationships story healthy relationship dating
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