Mom argues with 20-year-old, confiscates phone and sends her to her room: 'Say hello to the nursing home in 20 years'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 21, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

At what age does a parent stop having the right to give their kids consequences for their behavior?

Many would argue that no matter how old a child gets, they are still subject to the judgment of their parents if they do something wrong. However, a lot of people would also say that the way they react to any bad behavior is going to change pretty significantly depending on age. None of us stay five years old forever, so we shouldn't be treated that way all the time, either.

While it is supposedly a good thing to finally get out of the terrible twos or the teenager trenches, many parents struggle with the transition from one phase of life to the other with their child. They can change so rapidly in a way that just doesn't happen as much to an established adult. It is inevitable that they are going to make one or two mistakes with this, but the most important part is that they try to learn from them.

The reality is that once kids get past a certain age, it is necessary to relinquish a certain amount of control. They should be ready and willing to be independent, and harsh parenting tactics can stunt that. By the time young adulthood hits, the biggest consequences they are going to face for doing something wrong are those of their own actions out in the real world. In some ways, the process of maturing as an adult is tougher than any parental discipline ever was.

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  • A representation of a mom embracing her upset young adult daughter as they sit together
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a mom embracing her upset young adult daughter as they sit together

  • A dad recounted on X how his wife had reacted when she got into an altercation with their 20-year-old daughter. She had decided it was appropriate to punish her by taking her phone, sending her to her room, and banning her from dinner, which even their son thought was unreasonable.

    It's fair to say that a wider audience agreed with the young man's opinion, criticizing these parenting tactics as inappropriate and something that was likely to damage their future relationship with their daughter. Hard as it can be, there comes a time when relinquishing some control is a necessary step as a parent.

     

  • Mark in CHS @marknCHS My 20 y/o daughter and my wife got in a huge fight yesterday. Wife ends the conversation by demanding daughter turn her phone in and sending her to her room without dinner. My son to my other daughter: "She's 20. I don't even know if what happened is legal."
    via marknCHS
  • A representation of a mom and her young adult daughter sitting at opposite ends of a couch, looking away from one another
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a mom and her young adult daughter sitting at opposite ends of a couch, looking away from one another

  • caspian *。 @dnpyaoi 20 years old and shes being sent to her room without dinner and you seemingly did nothing but tweet about it. say hello to the nursing home in 20 years my boy "
    via dnpyaoi
  • cherry @sourapplekore this is weird Imao. im 25, live with my parents, we argue here and there, but they would never "take my phone" or tell me i cant eat bc they see me as an actual person, not property who should submit to them.
    via sourapplekore
  • Katie @disabilikate My parents tried to give me a 10 pm curfew exactly ONE time as a legal adult. They stopped once I pointed out that they could either have a child they could give a curfew to or a legal tenant, but that their decision would determine our relationship moving forward.
    via disabilikate
  • may @kittenpov39 When she stops speaking to you both, remember this moment.
    via kittenpov39
  • Mourning + @Abjectesque So like are you a father at all or just like the roommate that lives in the house and is too awkward to say anything? Why is she making extreme, unanimous decisions like that over an adult? Have your taken your wife's phone and dinner away from her?
    via Abjectesque
  • Unflooded Realms @Flooded Realms Ultimately, this is why multi-generational homes can't work in the modern West. Parents don't view that arrangement as a transfer of estate wealth to heirs they view it as levers of control to keep their children 14 forever.
    via FloodedRealms
  • Quail @GambelerQuail I feel like this kind of thing is becoming more common. You often see people post stuff like "I want to run away from home, my parents won't let me do xyz" and then they are like 19.
    via GambelerQuail
  • Ghost of @juicethot Past... People wonder why familial estrangement seems more common but parents view any help they give to their adult kids as transactional, with the intention that help given is in exchange for total control over their adult kids well into adulthood.
    via juicethot
  • WilliamTheBonqueror @BillTheKid1603 Boomers grew up partying to songs about being a teenage runaway and yet raise 20+ year old teenagers
    via BillTheKid1603
  • Alexy lou ❤ @bassvictm Imagine being 20 and ur mom takes ur phone then ur dad tweets about it
    via bassvictm
  • Sean @Prtty Lt retirement home and ashes donated to goodwill I'm telllimg you that much right now
    via PrttyLt
  • red (^U^*) ** @SINGLEPALEROSE be a man and tell your wife to cut it out. adults work through their issues verbally.
    via S1NGLEPALEROSE
  • bull in a china shop @6j192 If her grown a don't just order ubereats on her laptop
    via 6j192

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