Out of pure boredom, dude decides to fake a foreign accent at the new local cafe, has kept it up for 3 years now, sparks hilarity: ‘​I don’t even have an old country, I'm from Ohio…’

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A hipster man drinking a large coffee sits at a cafe and pauses to look over while he reads his book.

"I faked a mysterious accent at my local bakery three years ago, and I am in way too deep."

It started during the winter of 2023. I walked into a newly opened artisanal bakery in my neighborhood. I was
wearing an unusually large scarf, feeling a bit dramatic, and when the barista asked for my order, my brain completely short-circuited.
Out came this bizarre, vaguely European, heavily theatrical accent.
Instead of just saying, "One almond croissant, please," I hit them with:
Cheezburger Image 10650124544
"Ah, yes. I require the crescent pastry. It reminds me of the winters in the old country."
I don't even have an old country. I am from Ohio.
I thought I'd never go back, but it turns out they make the best pastries in a 50-mile radius. So, I had to return. And
COFFEE 2.00 BATCH FILTER ESPRESSO PICCOLO MACCHIATO 2.50 - AMERICANO LATTE CAPPUCCINO FLAT WHITE BLACK HOT CHOCOLATE 2.80 MARSHMALLOWS & CREAM 00.60 MOCHA 2.80 Bev CAMBERCOFFEENCL LOVE LEAF TEA BREAKFAST EARL GREY CHAI MINT RHUBARB GREEN ROOIBOS WHITE CRANBERRY & APPLE RANGE SPICE 0 ER PILGRIM CA KA EZ BUR C 0 Ti
because the owner remembered "the fascinating foreigner," I had to keep the accent.
A cafe table full of delicious artisanal pastries and latte art.
FingerDemon500 Easy out. Put a bandage around your head and talk like you normally do. Say it is a result of the "accident". Do not elaborate further as it is "too painful".
Establishment Hot6541 why is it that people from Ohio romanticize and play with accents so much...? (also currently from Ohio)
RebaKitt3n Just keep doing it. Why not? Develop your own alter ego.
Wendora15 This is clearly going to require an elaborate story about an evil European twin from whom you were separated at birth.
Common Safety_8830 Ahahahaha honestly if someone told me this story at work irl I would love it.

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