Mom throws kid's birthday party, friend objects to being asked to bring gifts and food: 'You have money to travel to luxury places, but everyone else has to help pay for the party?'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 26, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Even the village has its limits.

It is common knowledge that having kids can be pretty difficult, and part of that conundrum involves money. Many of us have enough of a struggle paying for everything that we need for ourselves, let alone another growing person who is going to have their own demands and interests. It is bad enough that one of the reasons that people choose not to have children is the expense. 

That being said, part of being a parent is being willing to make a sacrifice now and then to give the kids what they need or want. Putting them first is an integral part of being competent at parenting. Friends and family can definitely help make things easier, but most of them are going to have some limits on what they are willing to provide. No parent with a village wants to upset the village too much, because one day they might not be there for them anymore.

Providing financially for a kid, even the frivolous stuff, is one of those duties that is always going to fall more on the parent so long as they are able. Most people aren't going to want to fund the childhood of a child who isn't theirs.

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  • Close-up of two young girls standing side by side, wearing party hats, with one blowing a balloon
    via Victoria Rodriguez

    Close-up of two young girls standing side by side, wearing party hats, with one blowing a balloon 

  • The friend of a mom was growing increasingly annoyed at the way she acted about her child's birthday parties. She was married to a man with a well-paid job and appeared to have a comfortable lifestyle. Still, every year for her child's birthday, she demanded that all guests bring both gifts and food.

    As she requested the same predictable thing for this year's birthday, the friend felt like she needed to say something to her. She didn't think it was fair to the guests when she could probably afford to cater the party herself. Would it be fair to call her out on her yearly request?

  • Am I wrong for not wanting to pay for my friend’s kid’s birthday party?

    Hello, guys. I'm Camile (fictional name), 30F, and my friend Giorgina (40F) and I have been friends for almost 30 years. So yeah, we've been in each other's lives for a very long time.
    via Puzzle_3m
  • My friend has always been a dreamer. She never thinks too much about the consequences of her decisions. It took her a long time to finish college because she had a comfortable life with very few responsibilities. I'm the opposite. I've always worked hard, I
    via Puzzle_3m
  • have an engineering degree, and I've had responsibilities like helping support my mom and my nephew. So I'm the friend who's always pushing her to take responsibility and get things done.
    via Puzzle_3m
  • Three children standing in a circle on grass, playing with balloons
    via Jay Chen

    Three children standing in a circle on grass, playing with balloons

  • My friend married a guy with a good job, and they travel all the time, staying at luxury hotels. They seem to have a very comfortable life. But every year, for her kid's birthday party, she asks each guest to bring food and also buy a gift. I honestly think that's wrong.
    via Puzzle_3m
  • My opinion is that if you can't afford to throw a party, then don't throw one. Just do something small and intimate instead. None of out friends wants to say anything to her, but I do.
    via Puzzle_3m
  • This year, she said she would bring sandwiches, and then she sent the rest of the food list asking everyone else to choose what they could bring. That's what really bothers me. You have money to travel to luxury places several times a year, but when it's your own kid's birthday, everyone else has to help pay for the party?
    via Puzzle_3m
  • On top of that, she's planning to have the party in a public park and is inviting elderly relatives. People will have to sit on the grass or on the floor. I think that's disrespectful and inconsiderate.
    via Puzzle_3m
  • I'm her friend, and part of me feels like I should say something because I think she's lost some perspective. This whole situation feels really weird to me. I never thought my friend would become someone like this.
    via Puzzle_3m

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