'To adopt or not to adopt?': Grey stray hangs around college dorm for an entire year and builds connection with student, after graduation he questions whether it's best to give him a furrever home or let him enjoy outdoor life

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 2, 2026 10:15 AM EDT

To be or not to be? To adopt or not to adopt? The pendulum swing of choices will always hang above our heads, we just need to come to a decision at some point. 

We all have choices in our lives. The more choices we have, the harder it is to actually come to any kind of decision. This can be both freeing and constraining, and sometimes a choice can hang over our heads so much that we are consumed with the question, even though we know the outcome won't matter. Like in the story below, a recent college graduate reconciles with the question of whether he should adopt the stray outside his dorms or not. He says the adorable thing has been roaming around his house in the past year, and he's going to be spending his gap year at home, and plans to go to grad school in a few months. He'll be going back and forth and doesn't know if it's the best time to adopt a cat. 

The caveats are thus: first of all, he actually doesn't know if he's allergic. He has had some issues with cat dander in the past, but it isn't consistent. The other issue is that he's been feeding the cat for a year and she always stops by once a day. She is affectionate and loves with he gives her pets. He suspects that someone else is actually feeding her, which makes him question whether he should even take her from someone else. She seems to be more connected to him that the other person though, because she does follow him around more. 

He laments owning a pet at all because it's such a big decision. He's never had a cat and always grew up with dogs, so it would be an adjustment. He also currently has a dog with his parents, so it's another wonder if the dog and cat would be okay together. He's doing the responsible thing by wondering with real issues, instead of being hasty. He's really putting everything into perspective, which is what he should be doing. Read the full story below, and comment whether you think he should adopt the cat or not! 

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    There is a an adorable stray that's been roaming around my house this past year. I'm a recently graduated
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    college student and I've been spending my gap year here at home, but plan to go back to grad school within the next few months.
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    idدلا زوج
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    I've been going back-and-forth for a while now about whether or not I should adopt this cat.
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    For one, I'm not sure if I'm allergic to cats. I've lived with cats before (college roommate had a cat), but
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    my roommate didn't really take care of the cat and so there was a lot of dander going around, but even then
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    my symptoms seemed pretty mild. However I did get itchy eyes and a sore throat when I'd spend too much time with her cat. At the same
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    time, my best friend had two very well-taken-care-of cats, and even when stuffing my face in them, I
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    didn't seem to have any kind of allergic reaction.
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    Second - we've been feeding the stray cat for pretty much the whole year I've been home. She always
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    comes and stops by at least once a day (at night) to eat some food and a lot of times she'll sit next to me
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    and let me pet her. In fact, sometimes she seems less hungry and more there for the cuddles. In the beginning, she used to spend
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    the whole day outside the house, but it seems like she may be being fed by someone else or living
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    somewhere else for the majority of the day because these days she's only been stopping by at night and
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    leaving after being fed and getting some pets. That said, when she comes she just sits in front of the house waiting for food and
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    sometimes even after we feed her I'll see her staring through the window watching us... and when I'm
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    petting her and then I go back inside she'll follow me to the door and meow as if she wants to come inside. Also once im petting her if I
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    walk away from her she meows and follows me. She seems pretty attached (and the feeling is mutual).
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    Owning a pet is a big decision for me. Also I've never owned a cat, I grew up with dogs. I think having a
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    cat is a pretty easy animal to take care of compared to a dog while in graduate school so I don't think that I'd have any problem being
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    responsible for her - one problem I'm having is I'm not really sure what the protocol would be to take her to the vet or something. We have a
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    dog in the house right now who I'm pretty sure wants to eat her so I don't think I'd be able to bring her into my room or anything. Her ear is
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    clipped so I know she has been neutered. Would the vet be able to give her a medical bath or something just so I know she's
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    clean? I know cats don't like baths but obviously I don't know where she has been.
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    Most importantly, because she's a stray I almost would feel guilty taking her away from this big world that she loves to explore and
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    confining her to a tiny apartment in some city while I'm studying. Thus, I've come to this Reddit page, hoping someone with more cat knowledge could help me out and
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    help me make a decision. She probably could remain an outdoor cat and my parents will feed her. I know my mom has taken a liking to
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    her despite being much more allergic than I am. Would it be better to take her in and make her a housecat, or leave things as they are and let her remain a stray that we feed?
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