Couple regularly invites friends over for dinner, considers stopping when they don't interact with them during the evening: 'It's off-putting'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 2, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

The benefits of friendship are supposed to be a two-way street.

All of us who have experienced the joys of having a good friend know exactly how great it is to know a nice person in the platonic sense; they are fun to hang out with, help you out when necessary, and generally enrich your life. The only catch is that you are usually expected to return some of that energy, but that shouldn't be so difficult if you like them and value spending time with them.

Unfortunately, there are individuals out there who tend to see their friendships as a resource to mine as opposed to a mutual give and take. They will let the other person do the most while they reap the benefits and offer little in return. In most cases, it is only a matter of time before the giver starts to find this dynamic frustrating. 

Although cutting off a miserly, selfish friend may seem like the logical thing to do, we can get attached to people even when they aren't very good for us. It can be natural to hesitate, even if it feels like the relationship is not bringing anything worthwhile and may even be quite draining.

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  • A representation of two women and two men sitting at a dinner table, helping themselves to food
    via Sweet Life

    A representation of two women and two men sitting at a dinner table, helping themselves to food

  • A couple was finding it difficult to socialize with their married friends, who they invited over fairly frequently to eat and watch a movie. They would cook a nice meal and try to interact with the other couple while they were watching something, but they always seemed reluctant to engage with their hosts.

    Seeing as they were not very social when they invited them over and had never offered to contribute or return the favor, the hosting couple were left wondering if they should stop with this tradition they had created. It didn't seem like it was the kind of arrangement that was worthwhile.

  • Am I wrong if I never invited my friends over for dinner again?

    I have two friends who are married. My partner and I have, in the past, had them over pretty regularly for dinner & watch a movie. My partner often cooks elaborate meals, including a dessert.
    via DirectorOwn9841
  • Our friends will show up, eat the food, and just...not really talk to us. We'll watch the movie and comment on things (we usually watch something over the top or dumb), and we will try to interact with the married couple, but they barely speak to us. instead, they're whispering to each other nonstop.
    via DirectorOwn9841
  • They're having conversation, which is fine, but it's off-putting. And if I try to talk to my friend, she'll respond in very few words, and then her husband will whisper something to her, and then it's like oh ok she's gone.
    via DirectorOwn9841
  • They never throw in on groceries to make the dinner, and it's like they aren't even interested in the movie they picked or in us at all. They never invite us for anything, either. I don't want to invite them over anymore. My partner is similarly uncomfortable but resigned that "that's just how they are" and they're our friends, so we should keep doing it.
    via DirectorOwn9841
  • Models representing two men and two women sitting at a dinner table, toasting one another
    via Sweet Life

    Models representing two men and two women sitting at a dinner table, toasting one another

  • ConflictGullible392 Yeah they don't sound like good company. NTA.
    via ConflictGullible392
  • Th tsforTater Tots NTA. Are you sure these people are your friends? Do they actually ever invite you over?
    via ThtsforTaterTots
  • writierthanyou ...TF? YTA for being too scared to stop dealing with a couple who clearly don't care about you that much. Ugh, two non- confrontational people in a relationship, how annoying.
    via writierthanyou
  • roxinmyhead I would just stop inviting and see what happens
    via roxinmyhead
  • Main Wasabi857 It's your house, Invite, Don't invite, whoever you want whenever you want!
    via Main_Wasabi857
  • SampsonShrill If you want conversation, why are you watching a movie?
    via SampsonShrill
  • schmappledapple YWNBTA. You could always say "hey, we can't provide dinner this time, but do you want to have a game night?" That would encourage them to actually talk to you guys more.
    via schmappledapple
  • agmine81 NTA. Friends will come and go throughout your entire life.
    via agmine81
  • Beagle-Mumma YTA to yourself. First time this happened I'd clock it and move on. Second time they behaved this way? That would be the last invitation for them. Let them go to the movies if they want to behave this way. They're being ride and you're being a doormat if you invite them again.
    via Beagle-Mumma
  • Radtech51 NTA. You have to ask yourself why they're your friends. What things do you have in common? Do you share the same morals, values, interests? There doesn't seem to be a give and take with them. What's the point of having them over if there's no conversation? Seems to me they're just looking for a free meal.
    via Radtech51
  • Ryuuji-Akiyama NAH. It seems like you just don't mesh well for double dates like this, so if you want to stay friends, maybe find something you all do well together?
    via Ryuuji-Akiyama
  • Left-Development1695 NTA. If it gets brought up again, insist that it happens at their house
    via Left-Development1695
  • Autumn Falls0131 WNBTA, but this sounds like the plot to an 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' remake. Are they actually human?
    via Autumn_Falls0131

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