Woman spends 3 months covering up to $450 a month in groceries for a friend supporting 2 kids and an unemployed boyfriend, cuts her off after the latest list includes ribeyes and prime rib: 'Never again'

Author image for Celeste Mello
Celeste Mello • Writer and Editor
Aug 9, 2026 7:15 PM EDT

Helping a friend buy groceries is a meaningful way to support a struggling family, especially when two children are involved. But a friend's generosity has its limits. And a shopping list including ribeyes and prime rib is one of them. 

A 26-year-old woman in today's story has helped her friend with groceries for three months, until she began noticing that her friend was making choices she would never make with her own money. It felt like taking a friend to dinner and watching them order the most expensive dish on the menu. She felt she was being taken advantage of, so she decided to cut her off respectfully. Or at least that's what she tried. 

The friend is a working mom who supports two children and an unemployed boyfriend, so the woman offered her financial help with groceries, hoping to relieve some pressure and help them catch up. The woman began spending between $150 and $350 on their groceries each month. Forgotten items added another $50 to $100 too. However, it was all going well until the latest Walmart order, which cost $250. While reviewing the shopping list, the woman noticed convenience foods, frozen meals, chips, and snacks that were unlikely to last very long. Those choices caused some concern, but the expensive meat was the real breaking point. 

She had offered financial help, not an opportunity to upgrade the family's shopping habits while an unemployed boyfriend benefited from her generosity. And more importantly, her covering the groceries wouldn't solve the household's larger financial problems. It's reasonable that she felt uncomfortable when her money wasn't used as she expected, so she decided to end the arrangement. 

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  • A woman inspecting supermarket shelves, buying groceries for a friend.
    via Unsplash+ (Joshua Rawson-Harris)

    A woman inspecting supermarket shelves, buying groceries for a friend.

    Subjects are models.

  • WIBTA for not wanting to help my friend with groceries anymore?

    I (26F) have a good friend (28F). I guess we'll call her Jane. Jane's household of 4, struggle with bills in general because of poor money management combined with her boyfriend of 10+ years not working.
    via AttentionOk6526
  • They've been behind on rent every month for the past 5 months, and I just want to help my friend with some of the burden. They have two children 5&7. Her boyfriend doesn't work while
    via AttentionOk6526
  • Jane works 45hrs/week and provides for the entire household. For the past 3 months I've helped Jane buy anywhere from $150-350 in groceries every month. And some times I get an
    via AttentionOk6526
  • additional $50-100 in groceries for "forgotten items" I really have a soft spot for her two children who are the real ones suffering.
    via AttentionOk6526
  • Today I purchased $250 in groceries. I have a problem with some of the items she's buying. I never say anything because however she chooses to feed her family is up to her, but instead of
    via AttentionOk6526
  • buying groceries that will last. She's buying microwaved/freezer foods, snacks, chips, drinks, etc. THAT part I only have a slight problem with
    via AttentionOk6526
  • because it never lasts!! but I do have a problem when she buys things like ribeyes, chuck beef roast, prime rib, and then complains when certain items are out of stock or substituted.
    via AttentionOk6526
  • Cashier scanning groceries at a supermarket checkout counter after a costly shopping trip to help a friend.
    via Unsplash+ (Enkhjin photography)

    Cashier scanning groceries at a supermarket checkout counter after a costly shopping trip to help a friend.

    This is a staged scene. 

  • The best way I could describe how I feel about it is, why buy these items with my money, but when you were buying your own groceries you shop very modestly. It's like when you treat
    via AttentionOk6526
  • your friend to dinner and they order surf and turf when they'd usually order a burger on their own dime.
    via AttentionOk6526
  • So WIBTH if I told her hey, this will be the last time I'm able to get you all groceries ...? I don't want to stop being her friend I was just hoping my help would give her a chance to catch up on her rent! But I feel like she's taking advantage a bit/:
    via AttentionOk6526
  • UPDATE!!: Thank you to everyone who assured me that I wasn't the AH and while yes my heart was in the right place for the kiddos, the LAST thing I wanted to do was support a |!! |
    via AttentionOk6526
  • texted her and let her know I'm no longer able to help her with groceries because I couldn't afford it. I left it at that no explanation and she said she understands and thanked me for all my
    via AttentionOk6526
  • help she then proceeded to complain about her bf not helping (I didn't respond) I really hope she's able to come up with a solution on her own
    via AttentionOk6526
  • Expensive cuts of raw beef packaged for sale in a supermarket meat section.
    via Unsplash+ (Mariia loffe)

    Expensive cuts of raw beef packaged for sale in a supermarket meat section.

    Image is illustrative.

  • because it's not my responsibility to help her be more resourceful. I plan on ghosting her if I'm being completely honest/: I know the type of person she is and I have no interest in anyyyyy sort
    via AttentionOk6526
  • of drama. I'm at the point in my life I don't owe ANYONE an explanation, especially not when you take advantage of a good friend. As I
    via AttentionOk6526
  • mentioned earlier when I saw her grocery list today I was IMMEDIATELY upset and I thought to myself "never again".
    via AttentionOk6526

  • Well, ghosting the friendship is kind of extreme and unnecessary because her friend respected the boundary without arguing. Still, stepping away from the grocery arrangement was the right thing to do. She helped for a good period of time that she was able to help, which was temporary. Now her friend needs to figure things out on her own. Receiving financial help with groceries wouldn't compensate for the unemployed boyfriend forever. 

  • Thank you to literally everyone, even the people who called me a pushover and a door mat because it's TRUE!! I don't owe her any 'PALimony' as a commenter mentioned. I hope they enjoy that food.
    via AttentionOk6526
  • 3bears123 Stop this right now. Your friend is not stupid, she knows exactly what she is doing. Stop falling for this please.
    via 3bears123
  • MagnoliaProse NTA. If you want to help, drop off some ramen, mac and cheese, dried beans, and rice. Do not continue to hand her up to $500 a month to buy luxury groceries. You are allowing her to continue her poor money management and becoming part of the problem.
    via MagnoliaProse
  • Scary_Dot6604 You should have stopped months ago... It's her fault for staying with a lazy boyfriend.. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes
    via Scary_Dot6604
  • IntelligentEgg22 Think it's pretty clear you're not being an a hole lol why would you be obligated to buy someone else anything?
    via IntelligentEgg22

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Tags

groceries friendship grocery shopping financial support financial help money problems working mom expensive groceries friendship boundaries unemployed boyfriend money
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