Boss faces dilemma when bad employee asks for reference: 'They do the bare minimum'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Aug 11, 2026 7:45 AM EDT

Being a manager can sometimes be uncomfortable.

Most jobs have elements to them that people don't enjoy, and that is especially true for management roles. With more power comes more responsibility, and even the most hands-off and incompetent bosses have to deal with annoying or unpleasant tasks like enforcing dumb ideas from executives, mitigating coworker disputes, and handling layoffs. Few companies are going to hand out that marginally bigger paycheck for nothing.

At its core, being a decent manager involves a willingness to take responsibility. They should try to understand, to the best of their ability, how to work with their team and how they can get the most out of them. Sometimes, this also means admitting to their limits; not all employees are going to be the best fit for the roles that they work in, no matter what they do. That's just the way it goes.

At the same time, one of the core responsibilities of those in management is to provide references to those who leave their employment. Although some may argue this is one of the easier parts of the job, it can be a real challenge when there doesn't seem to be much that is positive to say. Just because somebody didn't fit in their previous role doesn't mean the same will happen with the next one.

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  • A representation of a smiling female employee with colleagues sitting in the background
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A representation of a smiling female employee with colleagues sitting in the background

  • A boss was left wondering what to do when one of his employees came to him and asked if he would write her a reference for a job that she was applying to. He already knew that she was looking for another role and had encouraged it, as he felt that there weren't any jobs at their company that would currently be a good fit for her.

    His dilemma was that she was applying for something similar to what she did now, which he believed she was bad at. He didn't think it would be right to give her a positive reference, but he also didn't want to dodge responsibility.

  • Reference letter for bad employee

    I was recently asked by one of my employees to write them a reference letter for a job they're applying to at another firm. I've known their looking and have encouraged them, as their current skill set is not suited for what they're doing now and the roles we have at our firm that do suit them aren't open and have little turnover.
    via WhiskWraith
  • The problem is, they're a terrible employee. I want them out the door, but the firm they're applying to we actually work with frequently and have a really good relationship with. And the role they're applying for is almost exactly the role they have with us. I don't want to write a terrible reference
    via WhiskWraith
  • and nuke our chances of getting someone better in the role, but I also don't want to write a glowing reference and possibly lose some credibility and good will with the firm.
    via WhiskWraith
  • They do have skills, but they mostly revolve around their charm and ability to talk in circles around people. They'd be great for straight sales. The current role and the one they're applying to is the opposite of sales. Lots of processes, documentation, etc.
    via WhiskWraith
  • They do the bare minimum thinking they've knocked it out of the park. And when you bring up issues, they say they'll fix them but never does then acts surprised and defensive when you follow-up.
    via WhiskWraith
  • They also have a knack of conveniently being too busy when new work comes up and talks their colleagues into taking their share. Usually they're busy fixing stuff we've told them needs addressing, but then it never gets done (see above paragraph).
    via WhiskWraith
  • I did talk to them about how I wasn't sure if I was comfortable writing a reference at all and I gave them the reasons, but they didn't seem bothered and insisted I do it. Any advice??
    via WhiskWraith
  • A model representing a female employee smiling with colleagues sitting with laptops in the background
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A model representing a female employee smiling with colleagues sitting with laptops in the background

  • Glittering_Box4815 Simple. Just confirm their employment date, role. Don't be opinionated, and if they complain, just say that's HR policy. I have never worked in an business where this is not the policy (For a reason).
    via Glittering_Box4815
  • Only time it has been tweaked is when they worked in a regulated industry and we had to confirm they held membership, relevant certificates etc....
    via Glittering_Box4815
  • Namaste-NY Don't write one.
    via Namaste-NY
  • Lott4984 Tell them it is a conflict of interest to write a recommendation to a company you are currently doing business with.
    via Lott4984
  • Life_Angle Do not do that. Can get you in trouble. Just list the projects and skills they have, do not rate them or give anything negative.
    via Life_Angle
  • Ok_Counter 1939 Don't give a reference. Say it's firm policy.
    via Ok_Counter1939

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employee workplace work advice reference
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