Overworked wife refuses to fund vacation for her husband while family falls behind on rent, he insists he “deserves” the trip: 'We can barely pay for anything'

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Aug 14, 2026 1:45 PM EDT

Would you spend thousands of dollars on vacation while your family is struggling to pay rent?

After losing her finance job, this mother has stretched her savings, taken odd jobs, and relied on relatives to keep her family afloat. Meanwhile, her husband works part-time and now insists on spending thousands to attend a destination wedding. With rent already behind and borrowed money covering bills, she cannot understand why a tropical vacation is even up for discussion.

Let me confess that when I read this story, I couldn't believe my eyes… how crazy people can be sometimes. In this case, the "husband" (with quotes, because he doesn't even deserve that title) was so infatuated with going to this wedding that he even forgot that the family didn't have any money to pay the rent on their home. Not having enough to cover basic costs has to give you a sign that things are not going in the right direction…

I do understand that we all deserve good things from time to time, and that's okay to enjoy a tropical vacation and a wedding… but not if the family cannot afford it. According to the story shared in r/relationship_advice, the only reason as to why the family was not evicted from the house is because they managed to get some money from friends to cover rent and basic taxes. And somehow, the husband insists he goes on this trip and spends thousands of dollars.

Honestly, how can he be so selfish? They have two kids to feed, and their unemployed friend, by the way, is also staying in the house with them. Sometimes, life teaches hard lessons from time to time, and this is the time when they should be ready to make a life change and to make good decisions when it comes to their finances.

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  • Worried woman sits alone on a couch, appearing deep in thought while dealing with a stressful personal situation.
    via Unsplash+ (via Curated Lifestyle)

    Worried woman sits alone on a couch, appearing deep in thought while dealing with a stressful personal situation.

    Model portrayal.

  • Before last year, I had a great job in finance. I had good savings, and was the primary breadwinner. My husband, Dave, worked part-time at his friend's auto shop. He's never
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  • really worked a full-time job, though he has had odd jobs in combination with his job at the auto shop.
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  • I still did most of the cooking and some of the cleaning though he did take care of our two kids, a boy Larry, 13 (from another relationship) and our little girl Sam 3. I did
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  • encourage him to find full-time work and he would apply to places every now and then and even worked somewhere for about three weeks, but it didn't pan out. He says he likes working at his friend's shop
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  • and hopes he will get promoted to full-time. Anyway, I lost my job last year along with most of my department. I've been looking like crazy and can't find anything in my
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  • field. We've used up most of my savings and I started having serious medical issues due to the stress.
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  • Anyway, we're behind on rent, we can barely pay for anything and have been lucky to have the support of friends and family to help out.
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  • Now he wants to go on a trip that will likely cost a few thousand dollars. The friend that owns the shop is getting married and they are having a destination wedding. Dave
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  • wants to go and says he deserves a "good wedding experience," as his sister's wedding was a disaster for him (he had a slight disagreement with a guy) and he didn't have fun
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  • Man sleeps on a living room couch surrounded by dishes and clutter, depicting a relaxed moment at home.
    via Unsplash+ (via Chris Lynch)

    Man sleeps on a living room couch surrounded by dishes and clutter, depicting a relaxed moment at home.

    Photo is a representation of scenes.

  • at his other friend's wedding. He was intent on leaving me behind to stay with the kids.
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  • I told him he should politely decline as we are dealing with lots of financial stress right now and are about to possibly get forced out of our home. He says he is tired of carrying the financial burden. I still
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  • pay for most my own expenses and still do odd finance jobs here and there for ways less than market rate and have even worked retail to make ends meet. I take care of our
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  • food, miscellaneous bills (internet, phone, etc) and try to contribute as much as I can. He says he has been patient with waiting for me to find something and he is going on the trip whether I agree or not. And also
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  • that if I go I have to find a sitter for the kids and pay for most of my expenses.
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  • I like his friend but I feel like a trip like this is out of our range. Dave has been extremely nasty about this whole ordeal and has accused me of trying to destroy his friendship. I don't know what to do. He says it is
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  • possible to pay our bills and have the trip, but I just don't see it. He just borrowed money from his aunt and parents to get us current on rent. I honestly don't think they would appreciate him going to
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  • some tropical island after just needing help. Could this trip be possible if we just buckle down? Is it possible I am being unreasonable? Or is our situation urgent and thos trip can wait?
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  • Close-up of a woman holding open an empty wallet, representing financial stress and difficulty covering everyday expenses.
    via Unsplash+ (via Emil Kalibradov)

    Close-up of a woman holding open an empty wallet, representing financial stress and difficulty covering everyday expenses.

    Stock photography for depiction only.

  • I was glad to read the comment section and realized that readers were thinking the same as me. She needs to find a new husband eventually… but for the time being, let him do his thing. If he wants to go on that vacation, let him find the money and pay for it himself without touching family money.

  • Spicy_Hedgehog I don't think I can say respectfully, but f this guy. I am so sorry that you're dealing with this and that in your position, you're having to turn to Reddit after being the breadwinner for this man and you were being extremely rational about not going to spend money on this.
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  • serenity561 Your husband doesn't like you and only sees you as a piggy bank. He also doesn't care about the security of his children. I would divorce a man like that tbh.
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  • ughneedausername Really? Do you honestly think you're the problem here? Your husband is ridiculous and entitled. I want to say worse but don't want to get a ban. You need to get out. He was happy for you to be the main breadwinner. But doesn't want to support you when things change.
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  • vita77 You have got to be kidding me. He's 38, has never worked full time, sees nothing wrong with mooching off everyone including you, is blaming you for not working enough when he doesn't either, and has magical thinking about a vacation he feels entitled to. Quite the hobosexual!
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  • Jerseybean1 debt is debt, somehow you are supposed to take a trip and not put food on the table. His friend isnt his friend otherwise he would have given him a full time job. You're husband is completely lazy full stop
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  • BriefHorror No you just married a selfish person.
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overworked wife no money husband tropical vacation
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