Mom accuses sister of making her and her 5-year-old daughter homeless because she's moving out of their shared apartment in a year: 'She makes $14 an hour.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 17, 2026 3:45 PM EDT

How is she making her homeless if she's giving her plenty of time to make new living arrangements? 

It's not uncommon for single parents to expect someone in their family to fill the role of a spouse in their household. A single dad might treat his sister like a surrogate mother figure, expecting her to do child-rearing for the child that he had with a woman who is no longer in the picture. Not only is this borderline creepy, but it's unsustainable in the long term unless the sibling explicitly states that they are willing and eager to take on a parental role in their nibling's life. The older sister in this story does not want to be a second mother to her niece, and it's difficult for her younger sister to accept that reality. 

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  • A mom and her 5-year-old daughter.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    A mom and her 5-year-old daughter.

    Not actual story subjects.

  • Am I the bad guy for planning to move out when our lease ends even though my sister says it will leave her and her daughter homeless?

    I (30F) live with my sister (27F) and her 5-year-old daughter. We split the major household expenses. Our lease doesn't end until next year, but I've decided I don't want to renew another lease together.
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • She had to jump straight to homelessness, didn't she?

    My sister is extremely upset about this. She says I'm selfish, that I'm going to leave her and her daughter homeless, and that I'll be setting my niece up for failure because she may have to move after starting kindergarten.
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • Nobody is obligated to support their sibling's child when said child has two parents who are supposed to support them.

    I'm not breaking our lease or suddenly leaving. She has close to a year to prepare. The issue is that she seems to assume I'm obligated to continue living with her indefinitely because she currently can't afford our household by herself.
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • Her and her manager can stay friends, even if she quits for a better paying job. $14 an hour is not enough money to support yourself and a child, no matter where you live.

    She makes around $14/hour full-time. I've encouraged her to look into better-paying jobs she may qualify for with her GED, including 911 dispatch, corrections, government/city positions, etc. She says she likes her current manager and doesn't really want to look elsewhere.
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • She could room with another single mom and her child! That could be a great arrangement.

    I've also suggested finding another roommate. Her daughter's father currently gives her around $400/month informally, and as far as I know, she has never pursued a formal child- support arrangement. I've suggested looking into that as well. She doesn't want to.
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • But honestly, money isn't even the primary reason I want separate households. I feel like I've gradually become less of a sister/roommate and more like a second adult responsible for making her life function.
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • She frequently asks me to do things because she claims she "can't" do them or doesn't know how. When I refuse, she usually manages to do the exact same thing perfectly fine herself. It has happened enough that it feels like she defaults to getting me to handle things because it's
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • That is nightmare roommate behavior

    easier than figuring them out herself. She also expects me to clean up after her pets. Her cat throws up? She tells me to clean it. Her dog pees in the hallway? Apparently I should clean that too.
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • Cheezburger Image 10656800000
    via Virginia Marinova (Unsplash+)

    The sister's dog, who can't clean up after herself.

    Stock photo unrelated.

  • Her explanation has frequently been that she works and I'm home. But I've been finishing my bachelor's degree, applying and interviewing for professional jobs, and preparing to start graduate school. I also have my own responsibilities and pets.
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • They should've discussed this at the beginning of them living together. Some sisters are totally fine with sharing each others things.

    There are constant double standards over personal belongings too. She has gone into my bathroom and used my deodorant without asking because she didn't want to buy her own. She expects things I purchase to be shared. She eats in my car
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • A woman applying her sister's deodorant without first asking for permission.
    via Natalia Blauth (Unsplash+)

    A woman applying her sister's deodorant without first asking for permission.

    Individual pictured is a model used for illustrative purposes.

  • without asking. Today we took our cats to a vet clinic in her car. I started eating something and she immediately said: "You're disrespectful. I didn't tell you that you could eat in my car." Meanwhile, she regularly eats in mine without asking.
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • She also expects us to have "family dinners." If I say I'm not hungry or don't feel like cooking, she'll tell me that her daughter needs to eat and that I need to sit down and have dinner with them. Obviously my niece needs dinner. But I'm her aunt. I'm not her parent. And I'm my
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • It's a miracle that this woman hasn't left her sister to fend for herself a long time ago.

    sister's sister, not her spouse. There's also a lot of yelling. My sister has told me to shut the f up in our own home, and when I don't do what she wants, I'm frequently called selfish or disrespectful.
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • Recently, the subject of next year came up. When my sister realized I genuinely might not live with her anymore, she became furious. She told me I was going to leave her homeless. She said I was setting her daughter up for failure. She told me she hated me.
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • I mostly stayed quiet because arguing wasn't going anywhere. About 30 minutes later, she suddenly started talking about \*\*"when we renew our lease"\*\* and making plans for the next house as though the previous conversation had never
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • happened. I didn't agree. I just stayed quiet again. I've recently finished my bachelor's degree, I'm starting graduate school, and I'm pursuing professional career opportunities. I eventually want to relocate to another state, establish my own
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • You can't rely on your siblings to fund your life if you're perfectly capable of going out and getting a better paying job

    household, and build a life somewhere I actually want to stay long-term. I don't want to structure my career, where I live, or potentially the next several years of my life around keeping my sister's household financially viable.
    via u/funkofanatic95
  • I love my sister and my niece. I don't want either of them homeless. But I also don't think that means I should have to remain my sister's roommate indefinitely. She has almost a year to prepare. She could pursue a higher-paying job, formal child support, another
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • Her sister should do all of the above, and if she does, it'll make her life so much easier.

    roommate, cheaper housing, or some combination of those things. I want to finish the lease I agreed to, fulfill my financial obligations, and then establish my own household.
    via u/funkofanatic95

  • What do you think?

    AITA for deciding that when our lease ends, I'm moving on with my own life even though my sister says doing so will leave her and my niece homeless and that I'm selfish for putting my own future first?
    via u/funkofanatic95

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Tags

bad roommate siblings bad roommates niece bad parents parenting aunt moving sister roommates mom Parenting Fail apartment
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