Woman yells at roommate for disposing of pasta water while helping her with dinner: 'Did no one teach you you need the pasta water?'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 23, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

Do you keep your pasta water?

If you're a chef-y type of person, you might know all about the way the starch from the pasta water helps thicken and bind sauces. But if you're not, you're probably draining it and moving on as if nothing happened. This is what I did for most of my life (as you probably did too unless you come from an Italian family or were really reading up on classic techniques), but then something happened around 2015 where we all started to watch food videos on Instagram and YouTube, and then suddenly we were all saving our pasta water. Am I right about this? Or was I just late to the party? Either way, yes, it's a common tidbit that pasta chefs enjoy, but it is far from universally known. Case in point: the roommate in this story, who shared their tale on the AITAH subreddit. 

Sometimes roommate drama can be difficult to get around. You live together, so you're having to make certain compromises in order to keep each other happy. You can't insist that everything is done your way, or else you'll never get anywhere. You have to work together to create new ground and new opportunities for connection. Cooking together is a great way to do that. It forces you to collaborate and to come together to make something greater than the sum of its parts. That's what this pair of roommates tried to do, but things backfired.

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  • A woman cooks pasta in a boiling pot on the stove
    via Curated Lifestyle For Unsplash+

    Models pictured are not representative.

    A woman cooks pasta in a boiling pot on the stove

  • Am I in the wrong for disposing of pasta water?

    My roommate was cooking last night and she asked me to watch the pasta, and after the pasta was obviously cooked I went to dispose of the water and rinse the pasta and OH MY GOD, it was the biggest 'what are you doing? You have to keep that! Did no one teach you you need the pasta water?' I make glass noodles all the time so I did what I would do with the glass noodles, boil rinse, add to sauce and veggies, i dont know what the big deal is.
    via Brine_Witch
  • I rarely eat pasta, or cook it, its not part of my regular rotation, but she cooked for us so I was fine with having it for a dinner night. How would I know you need pasta water for the sauce? She acts like its the most obvious thing ever. The pasta tasted fine, the sauce was good I dont know, I'm far from pasta sommelier, and dinner was delicious. She is still convinced that would have made a difference, and if i didnt know how to cook something as basic as pasta, I should've asked.
    via Brine_Witch
  • So settle this, AITA for the pasta water disposal?
    via Brine_Witch

  • Commenters gave their takes on what happened here.

    JS_AH You're not the a hole, but pasta water is commonly used in making pasta sauces. The starch from the pasta can help make the sauce emulsify, leaving it nice and glossy. You weren't to know, but you know for the future now!
    via Brine_Witch
  • professor_meatbrick When you cook pasta you sometimes need maybe a cup or two of the starchy water for some sauces but not very much. And it's not the end of the world if it is disposed of. NTA.
    via Brine_Witch
  • ChocolateSnowflake YTA. You rinsed cooked pasta? I can forgive not reserving some of the pasta water but why would you rinse it???
    via Brine_Witch
  • PocketfullofFrogs They were making regular pasta tho not glass noodles. Op was saying they're used to glass noodles so they assumed even tho spaghetti is very clearly not glass noodles
    via Brine_Witch
  • Someone spoons pasta out of boiling water
    via Sonia Nadales

    Someone spoons pasta out of boiling water

  • It's sometimes difficult to manage your instant reactions to something. You might have a little bit of a quick temper that makes you get angry easily. If this is you, then it's on you to learn that that's your reaction, and to anticipate it happening, and to apologize afterwards. Nobody wants to be snapped at, even if they've done something wrong. The woman in this story was at the beginning of learning that lesson. Keep scrolling to read what happened. 

  • ChocolateSnowflake YTA. You rinsed cooked pasta? I can forgive not reserving some of the pasta water but why would you rinse it???
    via Brine_Witch
  • natethough NTA. This seems like a little social flub nothingburger. The starch in the pasta water is said to help the sauce marry the noodles. better; personally I made pasta all the time and always toss out all the water and use just sauce bc I don't want watery sauce. Some people swear by it
    via Brine_Witch
  • keesouth NAH. I think you would have been good with just turning the heat off the pasta and letting her deal with it since she was cooking. You didn't know her intentions. But yes there are many recipes that call for using some of the pasta water in the sauce
    via Brine_Witch
  • CTGamerBear Info: Did she ask you to finish the pasta or just watch it? If it was just watch it, then yes YTA because you could have just taken it off the heat and let her finish it when she got back. If it was finish the pasta then NTA because you didn't know
    via Brine_Witch
  • sikonat NTA you weren't to know and they left you to mind their dish and you saved the pasta from being overcooked.
    via Brine_Witch
  • But just in case for next time or if you want to cook lasta: generally speaking yeah we save a cup or so of pasta water to add to the sauce and cook down. The starches in the pasta water are useful for the cooking. Personally I don't notice a huge difference
    via Brine_Witch
  • legsylexi NAH. I mean, she shouldn't have shouted at you, but also, it's very normal to reserve some pasta water BUT she should have said that. But not far enough to make her TA, because also like, I would have double checked before agreeing to do something you're clearly not used to (because whilst not saving the water isn't universal, RINSING the pasta is very atypical).
    via Brine_Witch
  • Old_Desk_1641 YTA since she only asked you to watch the pasta, not finish the dish. At most, you should have turned the stovetop off.
    via Brine_Witch
  • youshallneverlearn Obvious NTA. You didn't know, and it's ok. It is ommon knowledge for someone who cookes sauses for pasta, sure, but absolutely no reason for your roomate to freak out like that.
    via Brine_Witch
  • AngeloPappas Soft YTA - you were asked to watch the pasta, not finish cooking and do what you think with the pasta. Many recipes use pasta water for the sauce because it has starch which will help thicken the sauce. Also, rinsing pasta?!?
    via Brine_Witch

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cooking roommate bad roommates pasta psycho roommate argument cooking memes pasta water roommates
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