25+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (August 22, 2026)

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  • 01

    Tung Tung Sahur is our cave paintings

    Tovi @wardinpal • Aug 20 I do like how we're starting to get stock characters. A few years down the line and this will be our Commedia dell'Arte. The banana has already taken on a lecherous role, akin to Pantalone or Pulcinella Aesthetic Girl The Blueberry's Secret @Aesthetic_Misss · Aug 19 Aesthetic Misss Melrose Av 7600 W • 1:06 DATE Made with canting
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  • 02

    They want the ledge sooo badly

    Josh @yFactr - Aug 9 There are Chicagos everywhere for those with eyes to see itsD3la... @itsD... Aug 8 • Translated from Spanish That's exactly how I'd like to go to the beach.
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  • 03

    It's critically important that we find the Fly By Jing

    • John Early @bejohnce Aug 10 Where's my Fly By Jing? I don't know what that is. It's a brand of Chili Crisp. Woman-owned.
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  • 04

    This was one of my favorite reads growing up

    (w. White Rice) 蘑菇雞片 45. 芬蘭雞46. 雪豆:47. Pt. 5.00 9.00 Qt. interpretation @materialcritic Aug 6 ☑ CHRIUMLIT Moo Goo Gai Pan • HUNAN & SZECHUAN DISH (w. White Rice) Chicken w. Broccoli. 5.00 9.00 Chicken w. Snow Peas.. 5.00 9.00 48.Curry Chicken w. Onions.. ..5.00 9.00 + S1. TS 2 BEEF, SZECHUAN STYLE........5.25 豆豉849. 草菇雞 50. 什菜雞51. 52. 四季豆雞53. 甜酸約54. Chicken w. Black Bean Sauce..5.00 9.00 AAS 3. CHICKEN W. CASHEW NUTS.5.50! GENERAL TOS'S TOFU... 5.50 Chicken w. Mushrooms..........5.00 9.00 Chicke
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  • 05

    Nice bro I should make one of my own

    ornstein @poopswag34 · Aug 5 0 Almost completely stealth and barely makes any crinkling y chart carhartt
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  • 06

    Woah Vicky always speaks truth to power

    Victoria R... @woahhvick... Aug 3 Ø Before u date me just know I won't post u even if u are lost
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  • 07

    WHERE WAS DOCTOR ODYSSEY

    jess jordan on kendall's ... @buttc... Aug 3 ... . thinking about the odyssey, I can't help but focusing on a major plot hole.....wwhere was he???
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  • 08

    Jenna is learning human emotions

    Typhoid Maury @GrahamSig. Aug 2 YOU LOOK LIKE THAT FLASH CARD THEY TOLD ME MEANS SADNESS.
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  • 09

    Starting wearing less and going out more...

    Hollywood Deals @LocalDingus. Jul 28 ever since I left the city you!
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  • 10

    Some things remain the same

    chris oldman @AlsikkanTV • Jul 30 crackers with cheese :) 27. @dimvji. Jul 29 all roads eventually lead back to the interests you had as a child
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  • 11

    Don't get mad at his true and real observation

    Breeana Flanne... @Breeana Flann... Jul 29 It's giving ... Ooh, king of edible leaves, His Majesty, the spinach. @foreeeeeal • Jul 29 girlfriend: now don't start weird conversations with my dad tonight me: fine ...
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  • 12

    This is what Bushwick does to guys

    • allie g@temujoandidion Jul 28 ... I am proof that living in New York for a decade will do this to you 2018 2023 2024 2025
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  • 13

    Everybody say thank you Erin

    chico @psychicslayer1 Jul 27 when the world needed her most she RETURNED?! Interesting ... @interesting.... Jul 26 Activist Erin Brockovich is forming a nationwide effort to hold data centers accountable for environmental damage She has already received over 8,000 complaint... MEXICO GUATEMALA CUBA PANAMA VENEZI COLOMBIA ...
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  • 14

    Christopher Nolan is a genius among geniuses

    peachy @farjayoun • Jul 27 Favorite dialogue in The Odyssey: "Stop eating the lotus flower." "But I love it." Chills.
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  • 15

    It's having a harkness style discussion

    vera @donogheart • Jul 27 Tokyo, Japan. Meat and Cheese Ark Shinjuku Search: meat and cheese shinjuku KlinkiSan 343 comments = That much cheese is discussing 04-05 Reply ohfuh_cough What's it talking about? 04-06 Reply 1,943 1,392 Q
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  • 16

    Lowkenuinely Bond, James Bond

    leftpain @left_plain • Jul 27 Oh, and 007? Do try not to call them "foids" this time...
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  • 17

    I would jump out of my skin

    K@MyNameIsK117. Jul 27 This REALLY threw me off balance this morning James Spader liked your post · 1h . Got so high that I remembered James Spader out of nowhere K@MyNameIsK117. Jul 25 Got so high that I remembered James Spader out of nowhere ...
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  • 18

    Some things are universal

    roasted che... @MaddyCh... . Jul 27 ... sussudio on repeat I'm gonna make you a mix tape. You like Phil Collins? SERVICE DEPT. SHOPPING JMI EWS, SPORTS & INFO POKERFASTLANE.COM Sheinhardt Wig Company PARKS & RESORTS MOVIES MANAGEMENT EVOLUTION SERIES DIESEL TRAIN N WIND CE ENTRY SCAN WATER Winnipeg I've got two ears and a heart, don't I? Iron Works
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  • 19

    A puritan take for our modern times

    cold @coldhealing. Jul 27 ... We should force Hinge couples to take on the new last name "Hinge" after marriage as a sort of scarlet letter
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  • 20

    It's the ankle demons that come out to get you

    jovon @vonmarkel ⚫ Jul 26 • can someone pls explain y ur ankles get itchy when u wash the dishes???
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  • 21

    It gets us all in the end

    T @dfwtee_ Jul 26 ... the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped.
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  • 22

    A lotttt of people come to mind

    djoomf @djoomf⚫ Jul 25 Hey do you mind if my friend The Toucher comes to the party? He may Touch you. ...
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  • 23

    Why were we okay with that?

    Liddell @cock_13snar Jul 26 • I hate that one line in that Train song about his untrimmed chest. It is very disgusting. ...
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  • 24

    He was on some existential stuff

    griffin@ohiojesustwink Jul 23 Bro tryna be profound • Interviewer: Suppose your house were on fire and you could remove only one thing. What would you take? Jean Cocteau: I would take the fire.
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  • 25

    Pete Campbell stars in a new classic

    mad men ... @madmen.... Jul 22 ... The Odyssey (2026), directed by Christopher Nolan IT'S AN EPIC POEM FOR ME TO GET HOME.
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  • 26

    Right on the money, Jack

    Jack Subpar @SuisizeMe Jul 21 . Flipping through the titles on hulu, making a point to scroll past brokeback mountain at the exact same tempo as the other films, not gayly slow or homophobicly fast
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