Mom asks boyfriend to pay for her son's sports fees, despite her having $50K in savings, and him only having a couple of thousand dollars: 'I contribute more than she does for our shared expenses.'

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  A boy playing basketball.

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• Am I the bad guy for declining to pay for my stepson's sports fees?

  I've been with my girlfriend for almost 7 years. We both have a child from a previous relationship, and her ex passed away a couple years ago so her son is basically mine. 

  I've been raising him since he was about 5. Great kid, and always gives 100% effort for his team. I drive him to every practise and game, pay for food and hotels on tournament weekends, and pay for private training on a regular basis. She has covered his season fees which have recently grown to around $1300 for the year as his level has increased.

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  A coach teaching his student basketball privately.

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• I have always paid a little more on our expenses - if rent is $2500/month, I pay 1300. If groceries are $200, I pay $120. I pay for most of our gas, though we split our car payment equally. Insurance and utilities I've volunteered to pay considerably more. When it comes to lifestyle, she funds her own discretionary spending but I pay for almost everything else. From eating out to drinks on the weekends, it's all me.

  Over the years she has managed to save up almost $50k. This is awesome, and I'm proud of her. When she gets a bonus at work it goes straight into her savings, no questions asked. I, on the other hand, have only managed to save a few thousand, despite making much more than her ($80K vs $130K). 

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  Stepdad saving his pocket change, which comes out to a lot less than $50K.

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• I also take her out constantly. If she's ever offered to pay for a dinner she invited me to she will offer only to pay for herself, and I never let her. She's been very open about not wanting to work and wanting to be a stay at home mom. I support this in theory, but I don't make enough for her to do it yet. I'm also not sure what's in it for me since she technically doesn't have my child and we split all housework. Sometimes I think I'm being selfish when I feel this way, but with the disparity growing in our savings accounts I wonder if I'm not being selfish enough.

  This morning it sort of reached a head when she said the fees had to be in today for the new season and asked if I could pay for half. I asked her why she couldn't take it from her savings and she asked me why I couldn't. I told her I only had a few K in there and I'm trying to save up and she scoffed at me, saying I never contribute for his sports. I asked her if the roles were reversed would she be paying for half of my daughters' sports and she said no because I have a co-parent who contributes and she doesn't.  

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  OP"s ex, who can presumably help him support pay for sports, with their daughter. 

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• We didn't get into a fight, but she left the conversation by saying she will never ask me to pitch in again. This really left a bad taste in my mouth - I do contribute, a lot and more than she does for our shared expenses. Her money is her money, but my income has increasingly become our income. This has allowed her to become more financially secure while I have done the opposite.

  Am I wrong here?

   

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