Dad Refuses to Pay for Daughter’s College After Discovering She Wants to Study a Creative Field, Mom and Daughter Stand Up to Him

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Aug 25, 2026 6:00 AM EDT

What is stopping young adults from following their dreams?

Their parents, most of the time.

When I was younger, I wanted to become an actress, and it was the only career option I could think of and was able to imagine myself doing. I took theater in high school, had a part in the school musical, and was set to pursue my dream of becoming a Broadway actor.

But then, well, my parents found out about my plans, and they were not thrilled, to say the least. Like many other parents, they didn't see acting as a viable career option, and they weren't excited about the idea of funding my college education when all I wanted to study was musical theater. We spent months going back and forth, as they tried to convince me to choose a safer career, and I struggled to give up my one and only dream. I ended up listening to them, mostly because they refused to fund college if I didn't, and went to study the safest major I could think of: computer science!

The problem was, I knew nothing about computers, and even less about science, and I absolutely hated every single course I had to take, which led me to drop out after a single semester. Jokes on my parents, who had to pay for it, I guess.

Eventually, things worked out, and I found a career path that still felt creative enough for me and had actual career options for the future (Thank you, Cheezburger!), but I can't say I don't think of what would have happened if I didn't listen to my parents and went after my real dream.

This is what I would have told the father below as a warning, after he shared on Reddit that he is trying to do the same exact thing to his daughter, who wants to study the arts in college. He doesn't want to pay for studies that won't lead to a career, while she claims college is not really about creating a job training plan. So, should he let her study what she wants, or is it important to stand his ground?

Advertisement
  • 01
    Daughter as a college student.
    via Getty Images

    Daughter as a college student.

    Model representation. 

  • 02

    AITA for putting conditions on how much I’ll pay for my daughter’s college depending on what she majors in?

    My wife and I are fortunate enough to be in a position where we can pay for our daughter's college education.
    via lionheart724
  • 03
    The issue is what she wants to major in. She's interested in things like theater, art, and other creative fields. I told her I'm concerned
    via lionheart724
  • 04
    about spending a significant amount of money on a degree that may not give her many stable career options after graduation.
    via lionheart724
  • 05
    We actually sat down together and looked at potential careers, salaries, and job opportunities associated with some of the majors she's considering. From
    via lionheart724
  • 06
    what we found, I wasn't convinced the cost of the degree made financial sense. So I gave her a choice.
    via lionheart724
  • 07
    If she chooses a major with a reasonably clear path toward stable, gainful employment, my wife and I will pay 100% of her tuition.
    via lionheart724
  • 08
    If she decides she wants to pursue one of the creative majors she's interested in, I'll still contribute but only up to the equivalent of in-state public
    via lionheart724
  • 09
    university tuition. She wants to attend a private school, so she would be responsible for the difference through scholarships, working, or student loans.
    via lionheart724
  • 10
    College Application
    via KLH49

    College Application.

    Stock photo unrelated.

  • 11
    My reasoning is pretty simple: I'm willing to invest heavily in her education, but I don't think being able to afford something automatically means I should pay for it regardless of the potential return.
    via lionheart724
  • 12
    She absolutely hated this. She told me that making her take out loans when we have the ability to pay is unfair and would put her at a disadvantage starting her adult life.
    via lionheart724
  • 13
    I told her that graduating with an expensive degree that doesn't provide enough income to support herself could also put her at a disadvantage. That did not help my case.
    via lionheart724
  • 14
    My wife thinks I'm being too rigid, and most of my family thinks I'm the a cole. Their argument is that college should be about finding something you're passionate about, not just maximizing your future salary.
    via lionheart724
  • 15
    I understand that argument. I also think there's a difference between supporting your kid's dreams and writing a blank check for them.
    via lionheart724
  • 16
    For context, I'm a 39-year-old high school biology teacher, and my wife works in healthcare. We're not wealthy-we've just been fortunate and planned
    via lionheart724
  • 17
    ahead enough that paying for college is something we can realistically do.
    via lionheart724
  • 18
    So, internet strangers: Am I the able for putting conditions on how much I'm willing to pay based on what my daughter chooses to major in?
    via lionheart724
  • 19
    Additional Context: I had a 3 million dollar inheritance. We paid off our home and live very frugally. Our kids don't know about the inheritance
    via lionheart724
  • 20
    Living-Effort866 What a plot twist when you said what you do for a living! High school teacher and healthcare?! | was expecting corporate lawyer or business owner based on the lead up.
    via Living-Effort866
  • 21
    Now I'm just confused. You didn't exactly pick a mercenary career path yourself, so why do you expect your kid to?
    via Living-Effort866
  • 22
    happybanana134 YTA. 'My wife and I are fortunate enough to be in a position where we can pay for our daughter's college education.'
    via happybanana134
  • 23
    'My wife thinks I'm being too rigid' You shouldn't unilaterally make this decision; your wife clearly feels differently. That's why you're the AH in my view.
    via happybanana134
  • 24
    Also: employability matters, but the degree is only a portion of what makes a person employable. It's more important to get work experience and build up that CV alongside a degree. And...getting
    via happybanana134
  • 25
    a good degree result. She'll be in a better position with a good degree in a subject she loves, than with a scraped pass in a subject she has no interest in.
    via happybanana134
  • 26
    blaghort YTA in two ways. One is that you're trying to use money to control your daughter and force her to make the choices you approve of, instead of doing what she wants to do.
    via blaghort
  • 27
    The second is that you're a two- income household, which means your wife should have as much of a say in this as you. You decided how much you and your wife would contribute to your daughter's education. Think about that for a second.
    via blaghort
  • 28
    You do not seem to respect the other people who live in your house. Whether it's a coincidence that they're both women is something we lack the information to evaluate.
    via blaghort
  • 29
    anglflw College is not a job training plan.
    via anglflw
  • 30
    d-wail YTA. You should have just said 'this is what we can afford, and any difference is on you'. Saying you'll pay more for a business degree over a theater degree (for example) is what makes you a controlling And you should. a know better as a teacher.
    via d-wail

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

family drama tuition school major job mother work family daughter college college student Father
Scroll Down For The Next Article