One woman's journey that started with a lifelong fear of dogs, a surprise puppy, and a real-life lesson in how to move past anxiety and experience growth

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Aug 31, 2026 6:45 AM EDT

Everyone is afraid of something, but what do you do when a lifelong fear gets in the way of your relationship?

I can understand people who are afraid of dogs. Dogs, if untrained, can be unpredictable and scary. They can't communicate the same way we do, and they have very few tools to communicate when they are upset. Doggos communicate mainly with body language - the height and activity of their tails, their body posture and ear direction are the main ways to understand how your dog is feeling. Tail tucked, ears back, and a lowered posture mean they're very anxious (very clear), but not every sign a dog gives is so understandable. For example, not every time a dog wags its tail does it mean it's happy - it can be a sign of uncertainty and hesitancy.

Now, people usually have a fear of dogs for a reason. Perhaps they were attacked as a kid, or made a doggo uncomfortable and the pup lashed out in response. But 95% of those interactions happened because of a lack of proper communication between human and doggo. Once you learn how to communicate with a dog, they become much easier to understand and way less scary. And it's usually much easier to get over that fear when you start with the easiest and cutest form of doggo - a puppy.

Young and in love, our woman below was so happy with her boyfriend… until he brought home a dog without telling her. She grew up with a lifelong fear of dogs, and he knew that, yet he brought home a puppy anyway. Unsure of what to do, she asked the internet for help, but in the process, she looked deeper inside herself and found the answer no one offered her. 

"Break up with him."

"It's a red flag."

The problem with these answers is that they are letting her fear run her life, and that wasn't what she wanted. She knew that some things in life were stronger than fear and more important. Read through her whole story below!

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10659079168
    via Anna Dudkova

    Woman hugging dachshund in a moment of love 

    Scene shown is a visual representation.

  • 02
    For context, my boyfriend and I have been dating for five months, and since the beginning, I've told him I'm afraid of dogs.
    via twelveorange
  • 03
    This fear of dogs is due to growing up sheltered, and my parents making me afraid of everything. I've also had a couple of bad experiences with dogs as a child as well.
    via twelveorange
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10659079424
    via Dinesh Lunked

    Brown and white dog bearing teeth in aggression

    Still frame for contextual reference only.

  • Not every fear is meant to be conquered, but at the same time, you can't live your life running away from everything. I'm not the biggest fan of heights, but for my dad's 50th birthday, he wanted to go skydiving. I went with him, even though my legs wouldn't stop shaking involuntarily the whole way up. A fear of dogs can be very scary, but there's almost nothing to be scared of with a puppy. A puppy is a great way to build new associations with dogs, because the only thing you should be afraid of with a puppy is falling too in love with them and never wanting to let go.

  • 05
    Today, out of the blue, he decided to get a dog and told me that his brother and mother said yes, and he decided to get it. at first, I wasn't sure how to feel because this is a new relationship and I'm still trying to navigate what I like and also compromising with what he likes.
    via twelveorange
  • 06
    after overthinking for several hours, I spoke to my mom and she stated that this is a red flag because he knows that you're afraid of dogs and he should understand that just outright buying one can affect your relationship.
    via twelveorange
  • 07
    after this talk, I didn't wanna keep overthinking so I called him and I decided to explain how uncomfortable it makes me feel going to his home now because I have a fear of dogs. I told him that I need some space to think about this and how we should move forward in our relationship.
    via twelveorange
  • 08
    i'm getting it until tomorrow night to call him because I said that I didn't need some space; however, for potentially thinking of breaking up because of a dog?
    via twelveorange
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10659079680
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Woman training new puppy outside

    Image for illustrative purposes.

  • 10
    DinosaurusWhen You can break up for whatever reason you want. But if your mom helped make you afraid of everything, why the h I would you listen to her advice?
    via DinosaurusWhen
  • 11
    Comprehensive-Poet82 My parents made me afraid of everything including dogs. because they sheltered me, so I asked them for relationship advice...
    via Comprehensive-Poet82
  • 12
    ESH. He should have mentioned a potential pet, but also you need to break out of your bubble.
    via Comprehensive-Poet82
  • 13
    It sounds like you're both still kids with parent approvals, but if you can be in a relationship you need to start learning about what you like or are actually afraid of and not just going to mom.
    via Comprehensive-Poet82
  • 14
    AlreadyAway So, let me get this straight. You are afraid of dogs because you are sheltered. You asked advice from the parent who sheltered you?..... What the h I are we doing anymore. It's a dog, not a wombat.
    via AlreadyAway

  • Nobody's parents are perfect - that's one of the hard truths you learn as you get older. Your parents are human, just like you, and they were just doing the best they could at the time. As a parent, you'll also make mistakes with your children, so don't be too harsh on them for their own past mistakes.

  • 15
    -TheMorrigan_ NTA for considering a break up BUT YTA for thinking you're in a position to tell him he can't get a pet because of your fears. Just break up. You two are not compatible and you do not get to police his decisions after 5 months of dating.
    via -TheMorrigan_
  • 16
    Being sheltered so you're afraid of a lot of things... and you then asking for advice to the people that sheltered you is a whole. different conversation.
    via -TheMorrigan_
  • 17
    Joporean You can break up with someone for any reason you want, it's your choice and it doesn't make you an a h le.
    via Joporean
  • 18
    I don't see it as a red flag, personally - you've only been dating for five months. Owning a pet is a major life decision and I'm not sure I would take into account the preferences of someone I've not been with that long either.
    via Joporean
  • 19
    I would use this as an opportunity to try and get over your fear though if you are open to it - dogs are amazing and generally there is nothing to fear from them.
    via Joporean
  • 20
    starlightpetals There's nothing wrong with him getting a dog, there's also nothing wrong with being scared of dogs...so long as you don't let it dictate the people around you. People aren't going to stop. living their lives because of your fears.
    via starlightpetals
  • 21
    Also why would you ask advice from the people who sheltered you to the point everything scares you? This might be a good opportunity to work on your fears. Your mom, however, seems like a bit of a red flag.
    via starlightpetals
  • 22
    Oberyn_Kenobi_1 It's been five months, and if he's asking his parents and brother for permission, I'm guessing you're both pretty young. It would be silly to decide not to get a pet because of a five month relationship. It would be a red flag if he'd asked and you'd told him not to.
    via Oberyn_Kenobi_1
  • 23
    Maybe try meeting the dog and getting over your fears before you try to make him feel bad or dump him.
    via Oberyn_Kenobi_1
  • 24
    Dazzling Assistant342 Of course not NAH. He wants a dog, you don't. You've barely been dating, it's less than a half a year, it's not worth comprising yet. You should just break up.
    via DazzlingAssistant342
  • 25
    UPDATE 07/27: I met the puppy and it's so cute. I'm getting over my fear and we're training it together. :)
    via twelveorange

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dogs fears emotional journey puppies
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