Cousin gets mad because during their family vacation, it was hard to see each other due to their different schedules with their 2-year-old children: 'Now she’s [mad] at me, saying we ruined their vacation because she said we were just doing our own thing'

María Cetra • Writer

Aug 30, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

The main goal of a family vacation is to have a nice, relaxing time, not see each other every split second.

I bet that having two-year-old twins on vacation isn't an easy task. But the hardest thing about this story seems to be having to put up with her cousin and her insane requests for the holiday. If you go on vacation, whether it's with family or on your own, it is important that your main goal remains the same. To relax and regain energy. Whether you want to get that relaxation from doing fun activities, hanging out with people, or sleeping the whole day, that's up to you. You should be focusing on having a nice time no matter how that happens. Not on the fact that your cousin is mad at you because you can't hang out with her full time.

When I went on family vacations, I usually did whatever I liked during the whole day, and only met up with them for dinner and breakfast –and sometimes not even breakfast. It's actually nicer this way, as we all could do the things we like the most and still hang out with each other more than we usually can. We also arranged a couple of activities all together, or at least most of us, so we could see each other more. But usually it would just be doing what you like or chipping it on somebody else's activity for the day if you felt like it.

This probably is something that varies according to the family that you have, but in my case it seems obvious to let all of us be free and just meet up a couple of times. We are all tired and stressed for the year, so making some strict schedules to see each other won't fit into our idea of vacation. It will just make us uncomfortable and irritated. Is better to leave the "hanging out" part of the job to the spontaneity of life. After all, it's just a vacation, and we all deserve to have a nice time!

Am I wrong for not spending enough time with my cousin and her family when we went on vacation together?

So I planned a family vacation and invited my cousin, my parents and my brother. My cousin (who is my best friend) was the only one able to come. I had already chosen a resort, but when my cousin looked at the resort, her husband didn't like it. He said he'd find something else. My husband was not happy but he let it go as long as there was a swimmable beach. They prefer pools because my cousin is afraid of sharks. They picked something else, and my husband wasn't happy about it but he let it go

A mother, a father, and a child walking on the beach. Licensed media provided as editorial context. — *A mother, a father, and a child walking on the beach.*
*_{Licensed media provided as editorial context.}*

she has a one year old and I have 2 year old twin boys. Fast forward to the day we got there, things were immediately strained because my cousin's husband wanted to smoke w d and had expected my husband would too. My husband decided that he didn't want to do that on vacation with his kids so he backed out. Her husband was ped but he didn't say anything outright. Just made comments here and there. Then we found out that the resort beach was dirty, meaning we would now have to leave the resort to

We had a hard time making things work because of schedules. Their day would be roughly 7 am: wake up 8 am breakfast 9 am: pool 11 am: nap 12 pm: wake up 12:30 pm lunch 1:30 pm: pool/kids area

3 pm: nap 6 pm: dinner For us (our kids take 1 nap) 8:30 am: kids wake up 9:30 am: breakfast 10:30 am: some activity or other on resort 12 pm: nap 2 pm: wake up and lunch 3 pm: beach or pool

7:30 pm: dinner Keep in mind that the boys also wake up at different times sometimes and it takes an hour for them to bathe and be ready. Twins are not for the weak Imao Anyway. We had small gaps of overlap and we agreed here and there to skip naps. They refused to go to the beach at all. Even the one on the resort to just hang out on the sand. She would text me to tell me hey we're at breakfast or hey we're at the pool

but the timing was difficult. We saw each other a total of 5 times on an 8 day vacation. I organized an excursion and we made it work and made my kids nap early on another day so she could come out with us to shop. In all fairness she did text me a couple more times than I texted her to meet, but whenever she texted me it'd be when the kids were asleep and then when I texted her their baby was either asleep or she would say they didn't want to do the beach at all. We did go to the pool with them

Now she's ped at me saying her husband was mad the entire vacation and basically we ruined their vacation because she said we were just doing our own thing. I felt bad so I apologized to both of them, but he didn't answer my text. She sent me a message later and said that he would need time to move on from what we did. She's barely speaking to me and says that we were just trying to do our own thing and leaving them out. My husband is mad that I even apologized. He's saying that we're

owed the apology because we went out of our way for them multiple times. All three kids' birthdays are coming up so I ordered cakes for the three of them. He's saying they didn't even say thank you for it and just complained that the cakes came out late. I just feel like sh. I didn't even really get to enjoy myself on this stupid vacation.

A mother and a child enjoying the beach. Actor performance of story events. — *A mother and a child enjoying the beach.*
*_{Actor performance of story events.}*

ResolutionOk5211 NTA how in the world does not hanging out that often RUIN their vacation? Do they not like eachother or their own kid!?

Sufficient_Song3387 No. Your husband is right that you shouldn't have apologized. They had the vacation they wanted. You changed your hotel and they did what they wanted everyday. They just wanted you to do what they wanted and blindly follow them. They are mad because you made your own choices. It's so juvenile and self-centered. Her husband's mood is his own fault. Just let them go sulk. They are trying to manipulate you with guilt so, in the future, you will give them their way. Don't reach o

know. Listen to your husband and stand up for yourself. They owe you several apologies.

kittengr There are ways for two families to have an enjoyable time together on a trip/joint activity, but it takes practice, compromise, and experimentation. None of you know your kids or yourselves as parents well enough to know what the ideal thing looks like. So, you're all the a_h_les for not giving yourselves and each other grace as you figure out a whole new way of being. Correct response: "lol let's not do that again. But we'd love to do a vacation together in another format. Let's keep t

angryomlette I got mixed responses but yeah, NTA for not spending enough time with your cousin. She and her husband sound insufferable. Whatever they did and results they got vs expected shows poor planning and it is wholly on them, not you. But YTA, you went and apologized? What were you even thinking? Now you cemented the delusion in their brains that you were at fault. And that you owe them reparations. Your husband is right, you spoiled the situation, permanently accepted the blame for poor

ang2515 Nta but why in the heck did you do this with your vacation time and money??? Surely if you're "best friends" you'd know your kids run on completely different schedules? And both families are not flexible or proactive enough to organize daily joint activies- daily at 10/1030 for 45 min- hour and again at 2pm?

Ok-Statement-5247 Honestly I get so triggered when I read about people like you probably because you remind me of how spineless I used to be. Stop being a doormat. Your husband is right - why are you apologizing. Your cousin and husband sound like immature losers...

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Cousin gets mad because during their family vacation, it was hard to see each other due to their different schedules with their 2-year-old children: 'Now she’s [mad] at me, saying we ruined their vacation because she said we were just doing our own thing'

The main goal of a family vacation is to have a nice, relaxing time, not see each other every split second.

Am I wrong for not spending enough time with my cousin and her family when we went on vacation together?

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