Roommate's boyfriend moves in, uses living room from 8 AM to 6 PM every day, eats all the food, and refuses to contribute to the rent or the bills: 'He said I was making him feel unwelcome in his own home.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 29, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

What a nightmare.

It can be really inconvenient to date when you have roommates. Your roommates might get annoyed that your partner is sleeping over most nights of the week, using up all of the water, and sitting on the communal couch all the time. On the flip side, you might get annoyed that your roommate's partner is taking over your life. You overhear them up to no good every night, and while you're happy they're having a good time, you also want some shuteye! Some people will specifically request single roommates because they hate it when people's partners come over. Others will specifically refrain from dating people with roommates because they don't want to deal with the drama, which is a totally understandable stance, especially when you're in your 30s and tired of roommate debates. 

As far as I'm concerned, I'm all good with my roommates dating and bringing dates over, as long as their boyfriend or girlfriend eventually goes home. I am not cool with adding an extra roommate to the house full-time, unless they're going to pay their share of the rent. If another roommate means that I have to pay $400 less in rent, then I'll definitely consider it, but I cannot deal with my roommate's partner mooching off the rest of the household for months and months on end. That is what happened to the girl in this story, and I do not want her life. 

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  • A man laying on a couch
    via Chris Lynch

    A boyfriend sleeping on the couch at his girlfriend's apartment. 

    Picture does not depict real parties.

  • My roommate's boyfriend moved in "temporarily" 4 months ago. He doesn't pay rent, eats my food, and works from home so he's ALWAYS here. I gave her an ultimatum: he starts contributing or I'm breaking the lease. She called me heartless. Was I wrong?

    When we signed the lease, it was just me and my roommate in a 2-bedroom apartment. We agreed to split the rent and bills evenly because we were the only two people living there.
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388

  • A toothbrush in the bathroom is fine, but a desk in the living room is unacceptable.

    Three months in, her boyfriend lost his apartment and started "crashing" on our couch. That was four months ago. He now has a toothbrush in our bathroom, a desk in the living room where he takes Zoom calls from 8AM to 6PM, and a habit of eating whatever's in the fridge without asking. He
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388
  • also takes 45-minute showers every morning, so I'm late to work twice a week. I did the math. I'm not saying he needs to pay a full third of everything, but someone living here full time is using extra electricity, water, Wi-Fi, and shared space. I told my roommate that if her boyfriend
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388

  • She shouldn't have to subsidize someone else's life

    is going to continue living here, he should contribute something toward the costs instead of me and her covering everything. She exploded. She said he is "between jobs" and "trying his best," and that I'm "putting a price tag on human decency." He texted me separately saying
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388
  • I was making him feel "unwelcome in his own home." His own home. He doesn't pay a cent here. I kept telling myself this was temporary and that I should give him time. But after four months, I'm starting to wonder if I'm being compassionate or just avoiding an uncomfortable conversation.
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388
  • A. Yes, I was too harsh. He's struggling, and I could've handled it more gently. B. No, four months of living somewhere without contributing isn't reasonable, and I have the right to set financial boundaries in my own home.
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388
  • No-Setting9690 B all day. And the audacity of the BF to text you with that statement. It's not his home, it never was.
    via u/No-Setting9690

  • I can't believe she wasn't questioning this before he said that.

    Upper_Criticism3388 OP Honestly, that text was the moment I started questioning everything. I was trying to be understanding, but hearing him call it his home felt really strange.
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388
  • bigbugga86 If he's in between jobs as the girlfriend says he is, then who tf is he taking zoom calls from 9-6? Also, option B. Or C: kick that moocher out
    via u/bigbugga86
  • icnoevil Start paying only 1/3 of the rent and when he eats your food, make him pay for it. People will use you as a doormat only to the extent you allow them to do so.
    via u/icnoevil

  • It's clearly not temporary to him

    Upper_Criticism3388 OP I think I kept telling myself "it's only temporary" for way too long. The hard part was realizing that temporary doesn't mean unlimited.
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388
  • WilliamEDodd B. If he does stay, the only option is paying a 1/3rd. He is taking a major area of your space and you can use it. How is he in zoom meetings all the time if he doesn't have a job?
    via u/WilliamEDodd
  • Upper_Criticism3388 OP I actually got asked that a few times. He's between jobs, but he's been doing some remote work/interviews/training stuff, so he's basically home all day. That's honestly part of why it started feeling less like "crashing" and more like having a third roommate.
    via u/Upper_Criticism3388

  • He has not intention of getting a job. Why would he? He can live rent free!

    Subtodownvote I'm going to bet he is "taking zoom calls" when the op and the girlfriend are home and playing games all day when they arent
    via u/Subtodownvote
  • The-Tech-Wonderer The desk needs to be in her bedroom, not in the living room!!
    via u/The-Tech-Wonderer
  • toxiclight B. His text about being 'unwelcome in his own home" would have me seeing red. It's not his frking home! Contact your landlord. There's usually something in the lease about how long guests can stay, although at this point, he's established residency. I would absolutely not be paying for his a
    via u/toxiclight
  • Realistic-Effect-715 yeah most of the time its something like no more than 14 overnights in a year period or they have to be added to the lease. its usually a very small time required
    via u/Realistic-Effect-715
  • Satta-Massagana You are in trouble. You have a new tenant who is probably not on the lease and you are probably in violation of this lease. So B, break the lease and move out before Mr Mooch lands you an eviction.
    via u/Satta-Massagana

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boyfriend bad roommate roommate household bad roommates psycho roommate relationships rent bills food roommates apartment crazy roommate
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