40-year-old questions his 28-year-old brother's parenting, so he comes back saying that his teen kids are extremely disrespectful and seem to have no boundaries: 'My brother said: "Oh, so you think my parenting is awful." I straight up said yes'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Aug 29, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

Don't give out advice nobody asked for. No one cares!


I don't understand why someone would get involved in something that has nothing to do with him and then pretend to get thanked for some useless advice nobody asked for in the first place. In this story, we get some brother that should have just kept his mouth shut over something that didn't involve him, and that is not his problem at all. I think that getting involved with anyone's parenting is something really personal, and unless you are some kind of specialist in the matter, your opinion is biased. You are talking from your experience, which is actually not a valid qualification.

I think the best thing to do when you are seeing a situation where the kid is going over the parent is to shut up. Is not dangerous and not your problem. So maybe don't get involved in it. What's even worse is to get involved in something that nobody asked you to and then want some kind of thanks for it. You shouldn't have gotten involved in the first place. The best way to live in a society is to mind your business unless something really bad is happening. Other than that, mind your business! Your issues are yours. The other people's issues are theirs. Only give out your opinion if they ask. That's it. 

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  • Am I wrong for telling my brother that he has no right to judge my parenting when his own parenting is awful?


     

  • 01

    If you aren't close, then why would you even listen to the advice that this unknown brother has to offer?

    I (28M) have a brother (40M), I only met the guy 2 years ago. Very long story, I'm not going to explain that right now. But me and him are naturally not close cause we never met until 2 years ago. We get along well enough but we definitely don't act like brothers. He is a bit of an arrogant guy to be honest, he thinks he is better than everybody else and he is just not the nicest guy. My brother has 3 kids (17M, 15F and 14M). I've noticed that all 3 kids can not listen to any rules. They kind of
    via General_Nothing_5798
  • 02
    A dad carrying his children through the field. Still frame for contextual reference only.
    via Juliane Liebermann

    A dad carrying his children through the field. 

    Still frame for contextual reference only. 

  • 03

    It seems like your parenting is working great and he's isn't. Don't listen to him!

    kids don't try their best at school. They don't participate in any extracurricular activities. The family all eat dinner in separate rooms, I'm pretty sure the kids eat in their bedrooms and watch TV. But overall the kids are just really r de, they lack manners and they always to say something snarky. All the kids demand money from their parents all the time. My brother is scared of them, even if he will not admit it. However, they aren't my kids, it's not my business how my brother parents. So
    via General_Nothing_5798
  • 04

    Your child acts like an angel. Don't listen to anybody criticizing that!

    nephews. Which is why I try not to comment on my brothers parenting, cause all he will say is "Wait till your kids are older." Yesterday we were at a family dinner at my sisters house. My 3 year old daughter had a tantrum and hit me, I set a firm boundary and told her not to hit or otherwise she clearly needs a time out if she can't be kind. In the end, she went to time out for 3 minutes and then we spoke about what happened. She apologised, she gave me a hug, then we continued with our day. My
    via General_Nothing_5798
  • 05

    Tell him! You shouldn't be giving out parenting advice if your kids are behaving so badly.

    parent. He said that it's necessary to raise my voice sometimes. I tried to shrug it off but he kept going on and on about how I'm going to raise kids who are disrespectful. Which is ironic considering his kids are extremely disrespectful. After a few minutes of him ranting, I just casually told him that he is the last person I would take parenting advice from. He asked what I meant. So I told him that his own parenting is not exactly perfect, I mentioned a few incidents where his kids have been
    via General_Nothing_5798
  • 06

    Do not apologize! What you did was just laying out the facts, that your parenting is great and his isn't.

    right to judge my parenting. My brother said "Oh so you think my parenting is awful." I straight up said yes. Then I walked away. He hasn't spoken to me since, and honestly I don't want to speak to him either. But my sisters keep trying to get my brother and I to talk, they keep telling me to just apologise to my brother. No way, I don't regret what I said. He keeps acting like his family is perfect, I'm tired of his attitude. Now they think I'm being unreasonable and immature
    via General_Nothing_5798
  • 07
    Two people walking on gray concrete pavement.
    via Suzi Kim

    Two people walking on gray concrete pavement.

  • 08

    Completely agree!

    Born_Departure_6645 You handled your daughter just fine. Even the length of the time out. He should've stayed out of it and kept his opinions to himself if he didn't want yours in return. NTA.
    via Born_Departure_6645
  • 09
    perfidious_snatch NTA. What he calls "soft parenting", I call "taking an evidence-based approach". He's really putting the "treat" in silent treatment!
    via perfidious_snatch
  • 10
    Maymaycreates Nta, your brother wants to parent with fear, caused that obviously went well with him
    via Maymaycreates
  • 11
    blackbird24601 OP. just so you know- you keep up this type of parenting- you will have an INCREDIBLE relationship with your children as they navigate life with your guidance been there, done that and my 20yo and i are so close now. well done
    via blackbird24601
  • 12
    newusernamebcimdumb Dude he deserves ALLLLLLLL the smoke. You did great. He parents stricter and his kids want nothing to do with him. Not coincidental.
    via newusernamebcimdumb
  • 13
    pandasndabs NTA but I think you need to set clear boundaries with your brother just like you do with your 3 year old. If you wish to continue attending events where he will be.. you should calmly explain that his unwarranted advice is unnecessary and that if you wanted advice you'd ask him for it. He is entitled as a human to have an opinion, just like you have an opinion about how he parents his kids.
    via pandasndabs
  • 14

    Of course he had it coming! He was the one who got involved in something that he shouldn't.

    CrabbiestAsp NTA. So it was ok for him to judge your parenting, but you can't judge his? Nah, he had it coming. Just so you know.. My parents never yelled or raised their voices at me and my sister and we are nice respectful girls. Me and my husband have never raised our voices at our kid, she is 9 and well behaved. Our neighbours yell and the other day we caught a screaming match between them and their 9yo. It was wild.
    via CrabbiestAsp
  • 15
    sikonat NTA he owes you the apology not the other way around. Tell your sisters to shove it bc he was out of line criticising you! And tell them you don't give in to bu es.
    via sikonat
  • 16
    Malphas43 Raising your voice at a toddler having a tantrum is not the way to deescalate the situation or to calm the toddler down. Your brother is an idiot. On many levels. Which you know. NTA
    via Malphas43
  • 17
    Fresh_Traffic_8186 We all do the best we can as parents, they don't come with a manual. It is very easy to judge the way other people parent, but it's just an opinion- everyone has one. You just parent the way you see fit and that's that. I don't appreciate unsolicited advice either, you just do you. He might just keep his opinion to himself in future. This doesn't make you an AH at all, he opened the door.
    via Fresh_Traffic_8186

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