Woman hides inside her house when 2 friends show up with a third person she specifically told them she had cut off: ‘I feel guilty at hiding as if I wasn't home but felt the other two keep disrespecting my feelings about the 3rd one’

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Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 11, 2026 1:00 PM EDT

There is no way this was done with good intent

Or maybe it was done with good intentions, but intentions aren't what counts. Concrete actions count, and these actions are rather questionable.

Maybe they couldn't find another way to try to convince their friend to forgive this third person, but if they couldn't find a way other than forcefully inviting him into their home, maybe it was because there wasn't one. And it doesn't have to be one.

Sometimes we don't want to forgive a person, and luckily, we don't have to. We're allowed to decide who gets to have a place in our lives, and that place is sacred.

Frankly, after this incident, I would question the place the other two people have in the unsuspecting host's life.

Guilt is not always an emotion one should listen to. Sometimes it's there to remind us that we've done something bad, but other times it's there because we don't know how else to process an ugly emotion we're feeling.

We don't need an excuse to refuse to open our door to someone we don't want to let in. Simply not wanting to is a completely valid reason. It's not really necessary to overexplain ourselves, especially if the ones listening would be those who forcefully brought an unwelcome guest to our home in the first place.

That said, this incident deserves a follow-up, but I don't know which would be best. Should she simply tell them she wasn't home and ignore it altogether? Or should she confront them about what they did?

I'm not sure somebody who does something like this deserves to explain themselves over conversation to begin with, but that's just me.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10662935808
    via Afsane Bz

    Unnanounced visits

    Models for explanatory purposes only

  • 02

    AITJ? Did not open the door to 2 friends for bringing a third person I have cut off to my door

    3 school friends (all middle aged now) I haven't seen in a few years turned up unexpectedly at my house - I did not open the door and pretended to not be home as the 2 of them that I am OK with KNOW I don't
    via makarastar
  • 03
    ever want to meet the third one again as he is toxic towards me, but they STILL brought him along - I feel guilty at hiding as if I wasn't home but felt the other two keep disrespecting my feelings.
    via makarastar
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10662935296
    via HUUM

    The friends ringing the doorbell

    Image for illustrative purposes



     

  • 05
    about the 3rd one (hence the long gap at not interacting with them. either for a couple of - years) was I wrong to avoid them all? Or were the 2 others at fault for keeping on trying to force.
    via makarastar
  • 06
    me to re-engage with the third one - especially given they did not give advance notice, and just turned up after a couple of years unannounced and with "him" in tow
    via makarastar
  • 07
    ETA - I forgot to mention...they didn't text afterwards, but the one I have no issue with at all did leave a video message on our Ring doorbell (which I watched after
    via makarastar
  • 08
    they left) in which he asked me to open the door and named all 3 of them I mean...I told him and 2nd guy 3 years ago (when I last saw them in person) that I have "moved on
    via makarastar
  • 09
    permanently" from the toxic one - WITHOUT giving details - surely that's enough for them to respect my wishes? And surely I don't need to explain WHY I cut him off - as it's none of their business, right?
    via makarastar
  • 10
    Any-Split3724 NTJ. Your ring doorbell paid for itself in reduced anxiety of a potential confrontation. Your home is your castle.
    via Any-Split3724
  • 11
    SafeWord9999 'Saw on my ring camera that you came over and brought (unwanted guest). Glad I wasn't home or that would've been really awkward. Don't bring him back around on your next visit'
    via SafeWord9999
  • 12
    Competitive_Fly_9419 It's not "hiding" it's "ignoring" Why do you feel guilty? I would feel angry.
    via Competitive_Fly_9419
  • 13

    Are they gone yet?

    Cheezburger Image 10662935552
    via something magical

    Looking through the blinds

    Stock photography for depiction only

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friendship relationship advice friends relationships toxic relationship relationship drama
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